What do you do when you’re a kid who finds out he can hit a ball the way most grown-ups dream of? What do you do when your dad tells you hitting that ball is what you’re going to be doing full-time for the rest of your life?
What do you do when you’re just a kid and you already know that this game is no game? What do you do when you’re just a kid and it’s been made perfectly plain that your family is riding on your shoulders?
What do you do when landing that ball inside those lines is the one path to success and happiness for you all?
What do you do when at only 12 you’re already a world-beater? What do you do when you’re still just a kid, but you’re standing head and shoulders above every other kid, and the expectations your father has been burying you under since you were eight have suddenly become infectious, spreading like wildfire to everyone who sees you play?
What do you when you’re 16 years old and you’re travelling the world and you’re hitting that ball so sweetly it makes grown men coo to see it, and the money starts to pour in, and you can see that destiny, placed on your head all those years ago, looming before you: to be rich and famous and loved by all?
What do you do when you hit the big time and you’re taking down big names left and right? What do you do when you just turned 18 and you’re on front pages everywhere and the family’s expectations, that you will be their saviour and their champion, have turned into an entire country’s hopeful gaze?
What do you do when all of Australia won’t stop looking at you and waiting for you to become the hero they demand you be? What do you do when the national sporting media becomes your second father?
What do you do when you’ve been anointed as the next big thing, and suddenly… you’re not?
Bernard Tomic continues to polarise opinion. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)
What do you do when the big wins don’t come, when the champions don’t fall before you, when the shining, golden future everyone promised was just a few forehands away doesn’t materialise?
What do you do when, after a lifetime spent striving to do nothing but give satisfaction, you start to disappoint?
What do you do when you’re still travelling the world, and the money is still rolling in, and you’re buying big houses and fast cars and you and your family have everything you could ever need, but you still keep losing and the world has started to scold?
What do you do when the crowds who loved you start to hate you? What do you do when thousands of people you’ve never met turn on you, when total strangers deride your character and question your morality? What do you do when people who wouldn’t think twice about doing a job just for the money to provide for themselves and their family snarl that, when you do it, it’s the worst thing a man can possibly do?
What do you do when you’ve turned into an enemy of the people, because once you found out you could hit a ball, and because of that were ordered to keep hitting balls for the rest of your life, and now you’re not hitting it like you used to, and that makes everyone furious?
What do you do when you realise you’re rich and famous and miserable?
What do you do when you don’t know what to do? What do you do when you’re sinking into a black pit and you can’t figure out how to escape it, and there are millions watching your every flail?
What do you do when all you want is to be happy, and you have no idea what direction happy lies?
What do you do when your whole life you’ve been told there’s only one thing you can do, and you don’t know how to do anything else… and you don’t want to do it anymore?
I don’t know what I’d do.
The Roar encourages all readers who may be suffering from mental illness to seek support from organisations such as Lifeline, Beyond Blue or Headspace.
John Erichsen
Roar Guru
Whatever Bernard needs to do to find some answers, I hope he has someone close to him advising him this next step of his journey is best traversed privately and away from the cameras and media. Having spent much of his life in the spotlight, this may be a new and daunting prospect, but it would be far better than going on some silly celebrity TV show...
Johnno
Guest
Unless your from a really poor family you stay in school until at least 16(better to finish) and don't make being a sportstar the no 1 priority..
tsuru
Roar Rookie
I agree catcat. I think the most important question for Tomic now is "What do I do next?" Whatever he has done in the past, positive and negative, is past and can't be changed. I still have hopes that somehow he can recover some form and some dignity. I don't know how, but your idea seems like a good place to start. As cliched as it is it's true here that, "the first step is to admit the problem."
Tanami Mehmet
Guest
Do nothing. That way Tomic can keep playing tennis and you just don't have to concern your with what he does or how he goes and save your energy for whinging about something that matters.
Gordo
Guest
I went to school with Matt Dunning...
JamesH
Roar Guru
I think you're reading too much into this. It's pretty clear Ben is not claiming actual knowledge of how Tomic feels, and is simply prompting us to *attempt* to put ourselves in Tomic's shoes through the 'what would you do?' scenarios. It certainly got me thinking about why Tomic is the way he is. As for the writing style, I liked it, if just for something different. Didn't wear on me at all.
michael barton
Guest
Phew, no less than 17 'hooks' ('What do you do etc.?')! It rarely works, this time it starts to wear after 3 or so! No doubt carried away by some cliched rhythmic or poetic template - nearly always a temptation to be avoided in writing. Just as important, towards the end of the article the sheer presumption, the pretense, of actually knowing what's going on in Tomic's head is striking! Perhaps the writer thinks these are transparent truths, obvious to all? And therefore fair game to comment on in this 'psychological' fashion? If the writer actually does know these things, then perhaps the evidence for this knowledge could be provided? The patronizing responses to Tomic - both critical and 'compassionate' - are sickening, and perhaps say more about the respondents than about Tomic himself. How about just treating him like an adult? E.g. point out where what he says is just silly, laughable etc., and move on? How many times can you legitimately lament his wasted talent before the lamentations begin to look self-indulgent? How can you analyze Tomic's personality beyond even the most superficial level unless you know him personally? And even then... attempting to lay the results of this out publicly? 'He's a public figure, and therefore fair game etc. etc.'. Granted, but his public utterances are so silly and childish that they warrant literally a skerrick of the attention they get. So is it compassion then? 'We really want to help Bernard'. I just don't buy it. How do articles like this help him? Because they respond to others who want to tear him down? Possibly, but the response is simply divisive: you get stuck into him, I respond with manufactured compassion, which you see a mile off, don't buy, and respond to cynically, and so on. If Tomic is indeed 'sinking into a black pit', flailing about while millions watch etc. (which I do NOT know is the case), then pointing it out publicly (and poetically poorly) is of no help. What would help then? Who knows? If you happen to be a personal friend of Tomic, then just maybe you might have some idea, but apart from this let's just leave it alone.
Matth
Guest
Well said Ben. These guys aren’t super heroes or saints. He’s just a guy who can hit a ball. And he can have the same problems as everyone else. He can feel bad and act badly just like we can. How would you act if you were told your whole life you were better than everyone and then you are not. Would you feel trapped and lash out? Would you stay in bed? What sort of person would you be if you had been ‘’handled’ your whole life so you’ve never had to grow up, make decisions and be accountable? And nobody taught you how?
Ex force fan
Guest
Ben, it is an interesting perspective and give an insight into the pressure placed on a young mind. However the perspective misses the fact that Tomic's glass is pretty full and I challenge that he is really a victim of his circumstance that looks pretty good from the side lines. I remember playing rugby against Ernie Els while he was at school at HTS Jan de Klerk. We played the same position but it was clear that although Ernie loved rugby union, that he will not reach elite levels, However Big Ernie was pretty handy with a golf club. I remembered when Ernie left school, aged 14, to concentrate on golf and that i thought what he made a mistake to bet his future on becoming an elite sportsman. However, Big Easy did well before until injuries plagued his career and did some other really good things during his life with the opportunities gold provided. Elite sport as you know it, is a highly competitive world and most of those that gave it their all and are extra-ordinary talented will not make it. Most plan for success but realistically failure should be expected. There are many that tried harder, invested more and never managed to deliver any return . There are even more that never had the opportunity to develop their talent and that never received the quality coaching. The few that managed to get a return did well and should count themselves under the lucky few. It is not easy to break away from any addiction, and the addiction of making easy money by playing tennis is just another addiction. However it is your choice if you feel trapped in that world , Tomic is very young and he has a couple of million in the bank to pursue whatever he would like to do - the world is his oyster. His glass is pretty full and he is not in my opinion one of the victims of elite sport.
catcat
Roar Rookie
I'd stop making comments to the media and reach out to athletes that have been through the same thing. Liesel Jones is one that comes to mind...talk to people that can help you not feel alone with it.
Winston
Guest
Hang on, this article completely misses the point from the bit that says, "...but you still keep losing and the world has started to scold?" People are not scolding him because he's losing. People are scolding him because he started becoming a jerk. Once you become a jerk, of course people would then say, "You're only entitled to be a jerk if you win. If you're a jerk and you don't win, then you are a bloody loser."
HKRed
Guest
Sit at home and count the millions.