An alcoholic A-League analysis

Those who follow the live blogs provided by The Roar during the A-League season will know my poison.

While blogging a match, halftime provides just enough time for the short walk to the fridge and some rehydration. Ginger beer is my standard, it clears the head and perks up the energy levels, particularly on late-night shifts. The mystical medicinal qualities of ginger are an added bonus.

Once the game is done and dusted and the match report written, the floodgates open however, and something a little stronger helps me unwind.

Making the choice often proves a difficult endeavour. Mood, stress levels and the nature of the day that has just unfolded are all factors taken into consideration when making the decision.

All beverages have their own unique personality and identity, as does each and every A-League team. By extending the metaphor, each club could be represented by a drink; some exquisite and grand and others not so desirable.

Adelaide United
With a stern and disciplined new manager, Marco Kurz, the reds have been transformed from a bottom shelf, imported and disappointing clean skin to a consistent and well-rounded drop.

After such a disappointing title defence last season, they now look like a solid, reliable $10 dinner party bottle. It might not produce fireworks and steal the show, yet it will garner respect and admiration.

Brisbane Roar
Sometimes things grow on you. A well-aged tawny port might appear a little on the nose when opened, yet with air and patience, its true qualities start to show.

As is the case with the Roar, who may have looked a little dusty on the shelf, as their handsome salesman – with George Clooney-esque grey tinges – continued to talk them up. Strangely, after a while you start to believe him and the port tastes just fine.

Central Coast Mariners
The Mariners are straight out of the oak barrel, with the screw tops freshly tightened – not quite ready to drink just yet. With such an undeveloped flavour and so much maturation to take place, an astute winemaker is required to guide the process.

Paul Okon is a vital long-term appointment and capable of overseeing the cellaring process. If handled well, it could produce something special.

Melbourne City
There is no doubt that City are on the top shelf. You know, that really expensive bottle that people look at, kidding themselves, before lowering their eyes and grabbing the trusted, cheaper alternative.

While appearing overpriced, recent form suggested that maybe the old adage of having to spend money for quality might actually apply, as Melbourne’s little brother threatened to outperform its older sibling.

That was until a customer named Sydney walked into the bottle shop on Saturday night and smashed the Melbourne City sauvignon blanc all over the floor.

Melbourne Victory
That older brother is tough to get a handle on right now; a little like a Gewurztraminer that you try at a wine tasting in some exotic location and subsequently find difficult to form an opinion on.

You find yourself asking, “do I like this or not?”, “would I drink it at home?” Such is the plight of the Victory right now – at times rancid and off but promising something better all the time.

Newcastle Jets
The Jets have been a treat to watch and if ever a team were reminiscent of a bottle of bubbly, it’s them.

The excitement of the uncorking, the violent eruption of noise followed by that slow tremble as the bubbles rise to the surface, and its universal symbolism of success and achievement all match the state of football in Newcastle right now.

What they would give to be popping corks in around three months’ time.

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Perth Glory
As another disappointing season unfolds for the westerners, their end-of-season drinks should be toasted with a VB or a Tooheys New. Both stock standard beers, never destined to impress and consumed by unadventurous people well behind the times.

Sadly for Perth, defensive issues continue to plague them and without a successful attempt to address the problem, they appear assured to continue their mediocrity.

Sydney FC
A bold, Australian Shiraz full of body, flavour and excitement is the perfect alias for the best team in the A-League. Everyone should have a taste if they haven’t already, the wine is beautifully balanced without a weak spot. It is just a shame that the guy at the cellar door is such a grumpy bastard.

Wellington Phoenix
Sadly, this bottle is off.

“Could I have a refund please?”

This sometimes happens with alcohol and it is to be expected, however when the winemakers themselves appear to have given up the ghost, things don’t look good for the long-term survival of the label.

New grapes required – urgently.

Western Sydney Wanderers
The Wanderers are in your face and each other’s. Whether it be moments of romance on the sidelines, marquees spitting the dummy or a frustrated supporter base, furious at their inconsistency, they draw headlines and confront.

At times they are much like a $20 bottle of scotch that rasps the throat. The bottle that a Scotsman would only use to polish floorboards.

The Wanderers need something to level off the flavours. Cola or ginger ale might do the trick, just to bring a little consistency, some poise and to mellow the entire experience.