Grow up everybody, you all look ridiculous

Australia’s emphatic victory over South Africa in the series opener at Kingsmead won’t have come as a surprise to those who follow the form.

The hosts recently saw off India, who travel as well as somebody with chronic airsickness, and Australia laid waste to England who, like their sub-continental counterparts, aren’t currently the best of travellers.

So two in-form nations going head-to-head in an eagerly anticipated collision with both quite rightly fancying their chances.

That it was the tourists who came out on top can, if you want to look at it in particularly simple terms of reference, is mainly down to the fact that they are a better side.

The South African seam attack doesn’t give much away to the Australians’ in terms of talent (a fit Dale Steyn would change the dynamic but that is conjecture) and both outfits possess a handful of outstanding batsmen, but the sum of the parts adds up to more with Steve Smith’s side.

That doesn’t necessarily guarantee success, of course, but when things click into place, as they did in Durban, the chances of coming out on top are greatly increased – and so it came to pass.

However, all I’ve read since the contest concluded is the fallout from the latest episode of behaviour that won’t be used to promote the sport anytime soon.

If we’re talking about occurrences that don’t lead to eyebrows being raised, the identity of one of the chief protagonists would be on the list.

Just for a moment, put to one side who said what to whom – this certainly isn’t a case of the traffic all flowing in the same direction – and think of the incidents that have involved Australia over the past few years.

It’s safe to say you won’t need to do much in the way of in-depth research to find that David Warner is generally in the thick of things.

If you present a free bar to someone with a liking for beer, there’s a better-than-average chance they’ll get plastered; offer the opportunity of a slanging match then the smart money would go on Warner being front and centre.

There could well be mitigating circumstances in this particular contretemps – and if what was said is as has been reported there is some sort of case for the defence – but if you are prepared to offend your opposition time and time again, at some point there will be a response.

I agree with Smith’s assertion that talk on a cricket field shouldn’t get personal, but you’re living in cloud-cuckoo-land if you believe the majority is anything but, and it is nearly always the case that the final word is coarser than the first.

It doesn’t take much of a leap to graduate from the so-called mental disintegration of recent fame to something more cutting. Once the adrenaline is flowing, the content becomes a mere detail.

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If a charge sheet was to be presented, the Australian vice-captain’s would run to a few more pages to that of the majority of his peers.

You can play the game in the desired manner without having to resort to abusing all and sundry, but this has obviously escaped those who place ridiculous bravado on a par with an aggressive method.

Warner is the poster boy for this kind of thing but whether it is him, Quinton de Kock or anybody else for that matter – and there are a few around the world who could do with taking a look at themselves – the kind of shenanigans portrayed in a Kingsmead stairwell only present those involved in a poor light.

You would be alarmed if primary school children behaved in this manner, let alone a pair of grown adults. The saddest aspect is that, yet again, cricket as a sport looks incapable of managing itself.

The focus should really be on Mitchell Marsh’s continued resurrection as a Test cricketer – is this really the same bloke who was way out of his depth in England a couple of years ago? – or Mitchell Starc’s unparalleled ability when a vulnerable tail in his sights, or even the excellent form of wicketkeeper Tim Paine.

But instead, we get a case of ‘he started it’, ‘no, you started it’, both sides unwilling to admit blame, denials and accusations tossed around indiscriminately and a perfect excuse for the tabloids to go to town.

Come the second Test in Port Elizabeth on Friday, is it too much to ask that the cricket will assume top billing, with a collection of excellent players showing off what they’re actually paid to do?

Hope springs eternal.