I'm on the Bolt bandwagon - and you should be too

By Mike Tuckerman / Expert

The best thing that could happen for the A-League next weekend is for Brisbane Roar to hammer the Central Coast Mariners in front of 20,000 fans.

That’s not to disparage the Mariners. They may have had a tough time for the past few years, but plenty of A-League fans have a soft spot for the Gosford side.

It’s just that if the Usain Bolt circus is going to roll into town on Sunday afternoon, then the good folks of Brisbane might as well make the most of it.

And if A-League officials are worried that Bolt still resembles the worst player to ever set foot on a professional football pitch, they needn’t stress too much.

Because as soon as Eric Bautheac curls a free-kick into the top corner from 25 yards, the fans who’ve been enticed through the turnstiles by the Bolt sideshow will have suddenly seen a real footballer in action anyway.

Isn’t that the point of keeping Bolt around? To get more people interested in the A-League?

The fact it’s Brisbane Roar facing the Mariners first up is an interesting side note, because judging by the squad John Aloisi has got at his disposal, the Roar should belt the visitors.

And if Adam Taggart can get among the goals this season – just as he’s done in Newcastle and Perth – then the Roar will nail down a top-six spot with ease.

Adam Taggart during his time with the Perth Glory. (Photo by Ross Swanborough/Getty Images)

But you’re unlikely to read too much about that in the Adelaide Advertiser or the Newcastle Herald.

If the job of local media is to cater to local markets, then the fact every club outside of Sydney and Melbourne seems to fly under the radar at this time of year is completely understandable.

Will Perth Glory justify their considerable outlay? Can Mark Rudan transform Wellington Phoenix? No idea.

We’ve all been so transfixed by the Bolt experiment that it’s easy to forget there are plenty of other important narratives to play out.

As for Bolt, what did we learn on Friday night that we didn’t already know?

Well, for one thing, he can hit a skidding half-volley across his body.

And for another, nearly six million people will click on a 16-second video online to watch him do so.

As for the rest, he can neither control the ball nor pass, has very little situational awareness, gets beaten in the air despite towering over defenders and is capable of butchering even the simplest of chances.

But here’s the thing. Who cares?

Isn’t Bolt simply living out all our childhood fantasies – that one day, despite an obvious lack of talent, we’d somehow get on the pitch and score a goal, even though it’s clear we don’t belong there?

Is Bolt’s presence really going to turn away the sort of purists who pontificate endlessly about the quality of the A-League, then never turn up at games anyway?

(Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

Bolt is deadset one of the worst players I’ve ever seen set foot on a professional pitch, but it won’t stop me from turning up at Suncorp Stadium on Sunday.

And if Mariners coach Mike Mulvey reckons a young striker plucked from the NPL might do a better job against the Roar – paging Jordan Murray – I doubt it will prevent him from sending said striker into the fray at Bolt’s expense either.

The reality is the A-League needs a circuit-breaker this season, and Usain Bolt is providing it.

Sure, he doesn’t look like he has the skills to cut it at the top level. But you could say that about a few of the A-League’s previous imports down the years as well.

Whether fans turn up on Sunday because of Bolt, or because they want to see if Mike Mulvey can wreak vengeance on his former club, doesn’t really matter.

The most important story this season is simply that they turn up.

The Crowd Says:

2018-10-16T23:30:15+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Punter Yeah - I'm pretty aware of the more global spread of RU. The French RU pays the top players quite well - and in some cases like Dan Carter was a 3 yr deal for a guy in mid 30s who is on the verge of being 'past it'. He was apparently top of the table with about NZD$2million. He's off to Japan - how much for over there? The disclosed salaries this time last year saw 9 of the top 20 being Kiwis. That was what was impacting Pyke about 10 years ago - the Kiwi invasion (my NZ wife knows very well that the NZ passport gets special treatment in France - still sucking up for the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland harbour all those years ago). So - it wasn't an ideal time for a Canadian RU player to be competing with the Kiwis. And in that time average pays over there have doubled. So - not sure how good a wicket he was on at the time. What I didn't realise though was how low the Australian 30 man squad salary caps are for RU - and there's no way at all they can compete with the French. That's been a bit of an eye opener. That said - there seemed an issue they've had with the top couple of clubs being backed by millionaire owners who were paying overs and dominating the competition (Toulon in particular).

2018-10-16T09:07:33+00:00

chris

Guest


Punter - you have the patience of a saint to put up with all of that tripe.

2018-10-16T07:28:47+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


Mike, I think you will find Rugby, while getting smaller in Australia is quite a big sport elsewhere, in New Zealand, it's as big as AFL in Melbourne, it's big in Sth Africa, Ireland, Wales, the Pacific islands not to mention in England, France, Japan, Argentina & Italy. If this Mike bloke was any good, never heard of too many Professional Canadian Rugby players (I may be wrong), he'd earn very good money in France, way more then any AFL player in Australia, so he probably made a choice of a sport he could make a living as a professional sportsman. As for the African sportsmen, great stories whatever sport. Yes the Jimmy Barnes bio shows the difference between what 'white' Australia deems racial problems to a couple guys letting off air.

2018-10-16T05:34:05+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


No idea about China - but Australian Football developed a bit of a cult following in the USofA back in the early days of ESPN. It's good to have it available again - however - like anything like that you will only get so many people accidentally stumbling across it. So - limited largely to the expats and the locals who are involved in the game in the US and then those ..... interested .... dare I say it .... in wacky sports. Lol!

2018-10-16T05:30:21+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Punter Canada and Rugby isn't world beating any day of the week - however - he gained some fame for "the most nonchalant try celebration ever" as this youtuber put it : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHizZhwsTSQ He was playing in Europe professionally for about 4 years but the 'Kiwi' invasion was making it harder in France. As he said the one thing that really attracted him to Aust Footy was the kicking - he was a Rugby full back and he really enjoyed the kicking and stayed back at Rugby training to practice his kicking. The reality is - the full back position is often the most transferable. And watching Rugby 7s always note that it looks a bit like a whole bunch of full backs playing. Out of interest this is a good interview (with French sub titles) that was filmed about 5 years back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USjk5OSWgqg&t=39s Agreed - re Deng and Mabil - and along with Thon Maker (playing for the Boomers) and in AFL we have Majak Daw and Aliir Aliir in particular as top level role models. And yet all we hear from the blue tie politicians is about African youth causing trouble (in Victoria....'cos there's a state election coming up) - - that's my pet hate - - such good stories get buried and the more general narrative is hijacked for political expediency. It was ironic - watching the Jimmy Barnes bio-doc that once upon a time you'd be arguing to send those violent Scottish folk back to where they came from!!

2018-10-16T05:15:53+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Kangas I don't doubt he would have been a big chance - however a fair selection of 'good ordinary' players such as Leigh Matthews and Wayne Carey never won a Brownlow!!! But yep - Slater was the one at the time that would've been great to see give it a crack.

2018-10-16T03:33:48+00:00

Fadida

Guest


You don't seriously think anyone is watching the games live or on repeat Mike? What's that, you do? Next you'll tell me that people in China are watching AFL!!!!

2018-10-16T03:14:21+00:00

MarkfromCroydon

Roar Pro


You could replace the words Usain Bolt with Matt Simon and the description of his football skills would be pretty much the same.

2018-10-16T02:46:30+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


Munro Mike, it might have been under my nose, but as you know AFL is not that big in Sydney & as far as football codes for me, it's football all the way, but I don't mind my Rugby & have an ok knowledge of the game, without being a diehard. However, again I have never heard of Mike Pyke even as a Rugby player & I know of most of the top players. Now it was great that he went on to win a premiership with the mighty Swans, however whether he got staled with the game of Rugby or just realised he was never going to be a big player in Rugby & moved on. I know what you mean about the media missing the good stories, while we all go on about Bolt, we see overnight 2 refugees, Tomas Deng & Anwar Mabil, originally from South Sudan, making their debuts for the Soccceroos. Now that is a real good story.

2018-10-16T02:39:26+00:00

Kangas

Roar Rookie


Munro mike Slater would win the Brownlow if he played afl , he leave dusty and Mitchell lying in a mess on the ground.... he is so much a more elite athlete then pike or Folau or Cox or hunt . Shame billy slater didn’t play soccer as a kid . Would be playing for Barcelona if he did.

2018-10-16T01:33:57+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Punter Ironically - because you're a person from Sydney - it helps the point that the 'hoopla' stories aren't always the best. There's was so much publicity around Folau (and K.Hunt) and perhaps it was worth it - at the time. However - for a legacy - there's perhaps indirect pay off. The Mike Pyke story was the Canadian WC RU player who had been playing in France and was going stale with the game and his mate put him onto Aust Footy with the suggestion that if they'd had that game available to them as juniors then it's what they would've played. Pyke approached the Swans via a 3rd party and got given a try out and what might have been a 2-3 month stint in pre-season kept getting stretched out and he eventually got a game, improved, became a regular member of the seniors and played a key role in their 2012 premiership. Now - given this all happened under your own nose in Sydney town just re-inforces my gripe with 'Head office' that they were so focused on a 'manufactured' story to cut through with non-AFL kids that a real feel good story was overlooked. And of course the Vic-centric AFL media generally missed it too. That's my caution - U.Bolt is a 'side show'. He's NOT the main dish and he'll only distract from the more real and organic narratives that are far more deserving of the attention. btw - do you read the 'PlayersVoice' articles?

2018-10-16T00:47:43+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


Well put it this way as a person from Sydney, I have no idea who Mike Pyke is but know all about Folau & his foray into AFL amongst other sports. Hence the same could be said about Bolt, many people are going to see him play because he is the greatest athlete the world as seen.

2018-10-16T00:28:39+00:00

Matt H

Roar Guru


Spot on. Just on Israel Folau, he fulfilled his purpose as well for the AFL. He didn't need to be a big global name, just a big name in the spot the AFL were parachuting a team - Western Sydney and in the Polynesian community that the AFL were trying to get a foothold in. So in that respect it worked. Of course, Folau couldn't actually play AFL at all, he was not considered a player with a lot of stamina even in Rugby League and AFL requires players to run a lot further in a game. He is perfect back in Rugby, where the set pieces and stoppages mean he doesn't have to run 15 km's in a game and can use his explosive fitness to good effect. And that meandering paragraph was meant to come back around to Usain Bolt. His whole life has been explosive speed, i.e. power fitness. Football requires a lot more aerobic fitness. There is no way he can manage that in a single off season, if ever. So even if Bolt magically becomes a good player, he really will only ever be useful for cameos off the bench.

2018-10-15T23:54:33+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Punter Reportedly $6 over 4 years, $1.5 mill a year. Just what the break down was - on the 'marketing' component compared to the 'playing' component is what could be argued. At the time I was curious to see what could be achieved by he and K.Hunt but the story I liked the better was the budget model - Mike Pyke from Canada who made it work and for me was a far, far cooler story than it would have been had Folau stuck with it and 'worked'. Point though is - no club would ever make such a high 'project player' investment in normal circumstances. Project players are generally low cost, low risk, reasonable to high reward if it all works. That's the point - when trying to sneak something past the draft/trade framework.

2018-10-15T23:25:55+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


But when at the Giants, he became the highest paid AFL player in the world for a 'development' player.

2018-10-15T23:23:11+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


Munro Mike, Soccer doesn't see AFL as much of a threat in the US, so no issue there.

2018-10-15T23:10:59+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Waz The AFL don't do much more than schedule the Shanghai game - It's Port Adelaide FC that runs it and they claim it to be financially viable (thus far) - although - the harsh reality is they have been reliant on the game being a Gold Coast Suns 'home' game. I don't think Port would be that quick to take their own home game over there while they are 38K+ at Adelaide Oval. So - as much as it (the Shanghai matches) is proclaimed a success - the REAL test is yet to be passed.

2018-10-15T22:55:42+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


Ironically - AFL in the USofA in 2018 received 'nationwide' coverage on Fox Soccer Plus (FSP). I figure it was part of the 'Plus' component!!! Also on Fox Sports 2 and much more rarely on FS1. FSP being a subscription channel. They ran on average about 4 matches a week either live or delayed. And even now that the AFL season is done - FSP this weekend is running 'Best of AFL' repeats through Sunday 6AM to 3PM (this week the Prelim finals and GF) and have others scheduled week days, one at 8AM and one 11PM (Mon, Tues, Wed). It's the delicious irony - all that coverage on the Soccer channel!! FYI - Further North up in Canada during 2018 they received 2 matches a week on TSN2 (1 live, 1 delayed).

2018-10-15T22:49:55+00:00

Nemesis

Guest


The FFA overseas rights were sold to IMG, just as I said. I've given the links to the article that reported the details on the day. So, you choose to selectively not believe this news report. You can choose to selectively not believe the TV rights contract deal that was reported for AFL, or NRL, or EPL, etc. etc. This time next year, we will have the financial reports clearly visible for all of us to scrutinize.

2018-10-15T22:44:11+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


#Kangas No sir - Billy Slater is taking on an off field role. #Punter remember the special case with big Izzie - in that he was the highest paid NEAFL player in the world. He was contracted to the Suns before they had entered the AFL - so - the comparison would be if one of the new A-League franchises was given the okay with a year to run - they spend that year developing their squad. They bring in a guy like Usain Bolt and he has a year in their squad in a 'minor/state' league to try slowly build up 'off Broadway'. Perhaps that might be enough time to become a goalie? Or a 'role' player? If the player has the physical attributes they still need to be able to adapt above the shoulders. Mind you - big Izzie was never, never going to be a successful AFL key forward (at the Giants) - because - for no other reason the fact that he was starting out in a brand new team with a lot of young kids and they were getting smashed. He could catch it. And the coaches could teach him to kick half okay. But trying to read the play in a team getting butchered.....good luck!!

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