The role of the modern NRL coach is one of great responsibility and prestige. LOL, jokes – you just throw your keys in the bowl and pray you don’t end up on the Gold Coast.
But even with the industry an unfettered orgy of desperados swapping and role playing, Manly has still been recently dismissed by everyone as just a little bit too freaky and septic.
This was because departing coach Trent Barrett told anyone who’d listen that working there is like a stopover in the Congo, only with worse rugby league facilities.
Barrett’s unfair truth ultimately caused the club a protracted and embarrassing search for a replacement to take control of its football program, which currently stands at 30 professionals and a second hand outdoor setting.
It was another smoothly conducted process by Scott Penn and Lyall Gorman, with willing replacements for Barrett so bare they short-listed Barrett himself.
While this scenario may seem humorous to the outsider, please remember this was an organisation that had just been rejected by Jason Taylor. So please, solemn respect where its due.
But in a totally stable conclusion to the saga, the club decided to move forward and hire former coach Des Hasler as the man to finish cleaning up his own mess.
Hasler will take over the post on a three-year contract, with club bosses satisfied he was the most astute choice after beating out an extensive field of John Cartwright.
If history is anything to go by, the new coach’s deal should presumably build to owning 51 percent of the Penn Empire by 2021, the time of his next routine fall-out.
The skint Sea Eagles will claim the search never reached panic stations, and that gladly re-hiring a man who previously absconded while the payroll smouldered behind him was all part of the plan.
However, the main takeaway from this ordeal is the club’s flat refusal of Geoff Toovey, who obviously fell short of the club’s requirements of being cooky and uncontrollable.
When stacked against Hasler’s attributes, there’s no doubt Toovey’s resume earns him at least the respect of a token rejection.
Like Hasler, he is a successful Manly person who has spilled blood for the cause, except it must be noted his wasn’t calves’.
Better still, not only is he cheaper and administratively cohesive, he carries the title of the world’s toughest pound-for-pound accountant, as proven by the time he let Adam MacDougall step on his head in September – i.e. tax time.
There’s no doubt Toovey could’ve coached the Sea Eagles back to Penn’s small ask of yearly top four finishes, while also managing the club’s $35 budget on the side.
But his most alluring quality that makes this even more stupefying is that he was available and interested at a time the club was as attractive as a garbo’s boot.
Nevertheless, this wasn’t enough, with Hasler winning the race ahead of the other genuine contenders, then John Hopoate, then a pot plant, then Toovey.
I may be speaking from a position of bias as someone who draws great thrills from watching small people combust inside glass boxes, but Toovey would’ve been a super-popular choice to help make Manly palatable again.
Great achievements were possible – especially in unison with other nice guys like the Trbejovic brothers, who too have remained likeable despite being Sea Eagles.
Adz Sportz
Roar Guru
Toovey was treated horribly by the club when he was head coach. He had the exact same problems that Barrett had. He had no say or anything to do with the whole DCE contract saga. A few times he found out breaking news in regards to his own club, when he was a regular on NRL360, which was embarrassing for him that he had no idea what management was doing or the decisions they were making in regards to players. The club has been a debacle since 2013.
Bernie Vinson
Roar Rookie
Hasler won because he has a share in a company that provides cheap outdoor furniture to fill out the training headquarters. Toovs didnt get a guernsey because he wanted an investigation into why a ref gave all the decisions to the trailing team (not manly) in the second half of a TV game so Manly could lose
ian Cameron
Guest
One of the more enjoyable article I have read for some time .An element of truth with a touch of humour
kk
Roar Pro
Dane, Trent is a product of the South and his future may lay with opportunity at the Big Red V. Personally, I think Trent should enlist at NIDA in preparation for auditioning for a par in the sequel to "Breaking Bad" Trent is the epitome of a living bad break. Pass the Systane ULTRA.
Dane Eldridge
Expert
Not a bad call, Tom G. And 'Gormless'? Magnifique! *kisses fingers like Italian chef*
Dane Eldridge
Expert
Wonderful again, KK. Any position in this administrative masterstroke for T.Barrett?
Tom G
Guest
I say get rid of useless Lyall Gormless and make Toovey the CEO. He would be sensational. He has the business nous and has served on boards eg NRMA, is a proven media performer and bleeds maroon and white. Penn needs to bury the hatchet just one more time for the good of the club.
kk
Roar Pro
Seriously Dane, we all love Tooves, but Des has history (+ & -) Geoff Toovey is a natural for appointment as Internal Auditor. The never ending investigation, extension upon extension. The cost of his services (financed from sale of pot plants) would pay for itself in fines avoided. From that position he is bound to offend from eyrie to fanatical. He could continue the torture by returning to duties as Des Hasler's chauffeur.
Dane Eldridge
Expert
I'll wear that with pride, Taubada!
Dane Eldridge
Expert
Thanks DP! You've gotta wonder about Toovey's dwindling stocks on the Beaches. That's even acknowledging the pot plant would qualify as state-of-the-art training equipment
Taubada
Guest
Silly, pointless article!
DP Schaefer
Roar Rookie
I enjoy your work Dane. With LOL's aside however, a good piece which raises the question of why Tooves, who would be so good there, is so far down the line to be behind the drama Hasler brought to two clubs. Hopoate, pot plant then Tooves....