Rugby has myths.
The straight scrum feed, the citing process, Nigel Owens’ omniscience, the need to ‘earn the right to go wide,’ the offside line, the superiority of the ‘good old days,’ the myth that the team who ‘wanted it more’ is more likely to win, the dogma that the French are mercurial rather than just consistently inconsistent, the five minutes before and after halftime are ‘championship minutes,’ the overweening desire of fans for their teams to ‘just hold on to the ball’ and ‘build the phases, ffs’ and ‘never ever box kick.’
Oh, and then there is the myth that is Maro Itoje.
Two mythologies are featured this weekend: fearsome Welsh dragons and the light-running, feathery-tackling, carefully-scrumming, yet gracefully-jumping and quasi-angelic Ned Hanigan.
But perhaps these myths are connected.
Scientists have discovered the fossilised skull and bones of a real and ancient dragon on a Severn Estuary beach near the town of Penarth, only a few miles from Cardiff, within fallen blocks from a sea cliff.
The skeleton of this creature dates back over 200 million years, and is actually a Jurassic dinosaur, even if it is rather small, like Welsh (if born in Wales) are meant to be.
And this is where it gets really interesting. The real Welsh dragon species is officially named dracoraptor hanigani.
Why was it named thus? Two brothers, surnamed Hanigan, discovered the skeleton.
The hanigani dragon was about about six and a half feet tall, just like Ned. They had long tails, which Ned subconsciously copies, by way of a blonde ponytail.
‘Dracoraptor’ is Latin for ‘dragon robber’, which is what Michael Cheika hopes Ned will do to the Welsh lineout, this weekend.
The Penarth specimen was a youngster. Ned is just a skinny lad, never knew no good from bad.
This weekend, the myths collide.
Harry Jones
Expert
He will need to adapt/evolve, or suffer the fate of the dinos!
GusTee
Roar Pro
Hello Harry - love your work. I write this in the lee of the game itself. If only Ned were 6 foot plus. It seemed to me that he did his best work for Wales with his head about 18 inches above the ground.
Harry Jones
Expert
Please.
bennalong
Guest
Don't really get the point of ridiculing a young man who is obviously talented and improving. Seems Petty.
Rob Hanigan
Guest
No worries. Always good to see an article with the dinosaur in it. Will be cheering you on when hopefully you thump England.
Harry Jones
Expert
Ah! Well, now that you have a whole animal named for you, it's all gravy! What will they name your next find? Hanigani is gone. Thanks for weighing in on my little article. It really was one of the coolest responses ever.
Rob Hanigan
Guest
I was looking for fossils and thought I'd take a look in a rock fall on the way back to the car......noticed a bit of bone sticking out of one of the rocks.......and the rest is paleontology! :0) As with life as a Welsh rugby fan we are completely pessimistic about the game tomorrow.....hopefully this time we'll do it.
Machooka
Roar Guru
I echo Harry's 'Brilliant!'... as it is so, except for the Welsh victory thingy :)
Harry Jones
Expert
Haha! Cheers, jeznez!
Harry Jones
Expert
He’s from the dangerous side of your family!
Harry Jones
Expert
Brilliant! Were you looking for something, or did the bones just ‘happen’ to appear? Wales is looking like granite in the pack. But they seem to find odd ways to lose to Australia! Good luck, Mr Hanigan! How’s your brother?
Rob Hanigan
Guest
Good article......whenever my mates and I are watching an Australia game I always get the 'reckon he's related to you.......who knows maybe he is! Here's hoping for a Welsh victory tomorrow.
Rob Hanigan
Guest
Yes, I am the one who found the bones!
ethan
Guest
Quality banter all round! When will The Roar adopt the like button.
ethan
Guest
His hair is spaghetti.
jeznez
Roar Guru
That is marvellous Harry, love your work mate. Almost makes me glad he is in the team, almost.
Machooka
Roar Guru
Sadly, this is true Carlos... and frankly I blame MrRobC! :)
moaman
Roar Guru
"For whom the bell tolls" would have to be Cheika/Jones.
Harry Jones
Expert
Machooka is the guru of love and all things Nepalese and also cuisine and Yorkshire; and he knows the preferences of all Waratahs.
Harry Jones
Expert
Hullo, Rob Hanigan. Are you THE Rob Hanigan, the man who found the bones of Dracoraptor hanigani? Or are you his mysterious doppelgänger hanigani?