Verbs are doing words. They’re words that just get in there and make it happen. And that, it seems, is what the Australian cricket team has been lacking this summer.
So, with that in mind, I thought I’d take a flying leap at an all-time go-getters eleven. An elite team of verbs, if you will.
(1) Alastair Cook. This may seem like a back-handed compliment – but he’s probably the greatest ever English batsman. In 2015 he finally surpassed Gooch to become their leading run-scorer, and in doing so, he rightfully instilled a verb ahead of the most unsavoury of nouns.
(2) Martin Love. Unlucky to play just the five Tests, he’s remembered fondly for his ton in the 94-95’ Shield final. And, as both a Queenslander and a transitive verb, what’s not to love?
(3) Ricky Ponting. He just had to make the team. But, since it turns out he’s not a word, I’ll have to improvise. Let’s make Ponting an eponymous verb – defined as the act of continuing to play beyond your used-by date.
(4) Mike Gatting. Best remembered for “that ball” and Ponting-on for most of his career (see above).
(5) Alan Border. Border, a verb; to touch the edge or boundary. As in, he took the baggy greens from a rabble to the brink of greatness. The current focus of a CSIRO cloning trial.
(6) Joe Root. Ok, I’m going to take the high road here – the American road. To root is to noisily applaud or encourage. So, in that respect, English fans will root for Root.
(7). BJ Watling. I needed a ‘keeper, but are you for real? That’s a pretty innuendo-heavy middle order with both a Root and a BJ.
(8) Mushtaq Ahmed. A bit left field but hear me out. Ahmed is the past participle of Ahm. Which, I’ll grant you, is nonsense. However, at the risk of attracting some heat, I’ve tried to make this team more diverse. So here’s a wrist spinner for all you PC thugs.
(9) Tim May. I’ve always read his name as an incomplete sentence. As in, Tim may what?
(10) Damien Fleming. The professor of modern swing. He took a hat trick on debut. It paid for Salim Maliks new boat.
(11) Michael Holding. Whispering death was a very scary customer. But he showed his lighter side by appearing as one half of the famous radio gaffe “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”.
So what do you think? On paper they’re not too shabby. Anyone keen to knock up an all-time nouns eleven? We can start scratch match.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
India also had Vijay Merchant and Nari Contractor back in the day.
Duncan Smith
Roar Guru
I thought it was a good chance for a witty article, but was also frustrated by Ponting, Gatting, Fleming, Ahmed. How are they verbs? Evan, can you do this article again?!
Warnie's Love Child
Guest
Another 2 suggestions, a team of players whose names are/ were professions. Engineer, Turner, Fletcher.... Or if you REALLY have plenty of time on your hands, alphabetical teams. A team 1 - 11 with all surnames beginning with A, then B etc. Join I & J, P & Q, U & V, XYZ as there would be a shortage with some of those letters.
rob peters
Guest
Another WI verb player is Marshall... i.e Malcolm. To marshal is to arrange or assemble a group of people esp. soldiers in order. He'd do well with Garner and Holding or even Rodney Hogg, who hopefully unlike his name would not be greedy. An out of left field suggestion as a spinner who might considered is Peter Sleep. Although his bowling was like his name. I'm actually surprised you went for May but didn't go for Warne, who is an a1 spinner verb. Then there's Martin Crowe. If anybody had something to crow over it was him as his skills as a batsman. He, Hookes and Border can hold down the middle order. As a keeper how about Chris Read? Mark Taylor is tailor made for this team especially to open the batting with Cook. Two very fine respectable hard working verbs.
Evanfinity
Roar Pro
Thanks. Glad you liked it. The standard "X talking points from Y match" gets a bit stale.
Evanfinity
Roar Pro
Cheers. Good suggestions. Guess I'm just a present-perfect kind of guy. Each to their own.
Jero
Roar Rookie
I'm going to Boycott this one.
Arcturus
Roar Rookie
Love it! This is what I like about the Roar. Amidst all the news and blogs, you occasionally get completely pointless articles which bring great joy. I found you a better wickie: "engineer", as in to lay out, construct, or manage; or as in Farokh Engineer, one time wicket keeper for India. Also I'm sure you can find room for: "sobers", as in to dry out (3rd person singular, present tense); or as in Sir Garfield.
Trebla
Guest
A good idea for an article but why not pick players whose names are actually verbs? There are plenty.Why choose Ponting, Gatting, Fleming, Ahmed? For a keeper Alan Knott is obvious as in "to knot a tie". Even our own Matt Wade would work, "to Wade in the shallows". Fast bowler John Snow would make most teams regardless but fits your criteria "it is going to snow tomorrow". Joel Garner, "to garner support". David Hookes picks himself, as does Ben Cutting. The Windies greats Seymour Nurse and Conrad Hunt seem obvious. Are you really a cricket fan?