Who’s up for a bar fight? Let Port and Collingwood settle it on the field

I’d like to preface this article by stating I do not support Port Adelaide or Collingwood.

In fact, I am not particularly fond of either team. But I could not help but be sucked into the debate regarding the incredibly similar strip both clubs traditionally wore, and who has the rights to it today.

Once again this week, Port Adelaide expressed their desire to wear their famous ‘prison bars’ black-and-white strip, and once again, although there was no chance of a clash with Adelaide, they were denied.

Even as a neutral who is not particularly fond of Port Adelaide, this contemptuous treatment of their desire to connect with their long and glorious history doesn’t sit well with me.

Already, I know some fans will be diving for the “they knew they couldn’t use it when they joined the AFL, the modern Port Adelaide’s strip is teal, this Port Adelaide is not that Port Adelaide”.

We have heard it all before. To these people, I say this: you are right.

Port Adelaide made agreements to join the national competition. They sacrificed a significant part of their identity to challenge the best teams in the land.

And in the eyes of the law, both Collingwood and the AFL have every right to hold them to those agreements. I have not heard even the most virulent Port Adelaide official or supporter state otherwise.

But is it really okay to hide behind walls made of solicitors and legal documents? Is that who Collingwood want to be, and how they want other clubs to perceive them – a club that shirks from a contest? A club that is afraid?

I am here to state an alternative that gives both clubs a chance to change the narrative from whingers versus scaredy-cats: let the teams sort it out in a marquee clash on the field. Let every meeting between Port Adelaide and Collingwood become The Great Australian Bar Fight.

The premise is simple: every time the teams meet, the winner earns the right to wear their black-and-white strip for their home games until the next meeting. When they play together, the carry-over champion wears their black-and-white strip, regardless of who the home team is.

Should Port and Collingwood settle their differences on the field? (Photo by James Elsby/AFL Photos via Getty Images)

The match could be billed as something to rival Showdowns, Derbies and even Anzac Day as an event on the AFL calendar.

If anything, it has the potential to be even bigger than those other matches, because there is something tangible at stake that is, I am sure, even bigger than four points in the minds of many supporters, players and club officials.

Of course, this would require Collingwood to be prepared to risk their exclusive grip on their beloved black-and-white strip. They have every right, in a legal sense, to say, “Bugger off, it’s ours and we are keeping it!”

However, a legal right is very different from a moral one. The game we all love gives us a mechanism to arbitrate disputes in a fairer way than any mere court of law.

There is a field of play, a goal to achieve, 22 versus 22 and a 100-minute time limit. May the best team win; the most deserving reaps their just reward. Best of all, if the result doesn’t go your way, there is always the next match-up.

While this requires Collingwood to take a risk, there would be benefits, as well. A middling game against an interstate rival would become one of the most significant home-and-away contests of the season.

Both the gate and viewing figures would almost certainly go up. It would be an excuse for both clubs to tap into their history and community; I can just imagine the greats of both clubs down in the rooms before a game, exhorting the new generation on to even greater efforts.

And when, in the fullness of time, Collingwood lose a bar fight game, it will give them an excuse to market a new jumper to their diehard fans with the deepest pockets.

And after a period of loss, imagine the scenes as triumphant players make their way into the rooms, take off the substitute strip and put on their beloved black-and-white stripes to belt out good old Collingwood forever!

Against all these arguments, the only significant counterarguments from the Collingwood Football Club and the AFL would be that they are not obligated to make any changes to the current legal agreement. That smacks of cowardice.

The great Australian Bar Fight has the makings of one of the greatest home-and away-games of the season.

As a neutral, it is the sort of game, with something more than just pride and four points in the line, that I would genuinely look forward to seeing.

Both clubs gain an incredible marquee match-up, after which they get to earn their bragging rights they then display proudly every home game for the next several weeks. The supporters of each club can feel that the strip has been earned by merit rather than a court.

The broadcasters get more viewers. Port Adelaide get to move away from endlessly complaining about being denied their rights and heritage, and Collingwood get to flip the narrative from being terrified cry-babies who call their lawyer to being a bold club prepared to answer Port Adelaide’s challenge.

While Collingwood will eventually have to accept a future without their black-and-white stripes for at least short periods, the gains far outweigh the losses.

If you, like me, think this is a contest that you would like to see, then join me in starting conversations about the topic. Share this article on supporter and club pages.

Let’s let the big boys know that this is the contest that we are all itching to see!