It’s well past midnight – on a ‘school night’ – and I’m sitting in my home study, leaning forward with my red eyes transfixed on the scene from Headingley.
The Aussies have squandered a run-out chance and burned an otherwise match-winning DRS review. As (future captain) Pat Cummins strides towards Ben Stokes, I know that this delivery will likely determine whether the Ashes are won or whether they still hang in the tantalising balance.
The ball is short. Stokes swings from the shoulders. The ball scuttles through the infield towards the boundary. Sir Ben throws his head back and bellows in primordial conquest. The Aussies wander from the field of battle with the kind of soul-crushing aimlessness that comes with losing a Test match they should surely have won.
Turning off the TV, my house falls silent. I tip-toe into the bedroom and try to sleep.
But while I’m tossing and turning, Tim Paine is standing up.
Recognising the insidious despondency taking root in his team’s dressing room, Tim finds the words he needs to put what has just happened into context:
“I just want to say, f— that’s going to f—ing hurt a lot, no doubt, for the next couple of days. However, as I said to a few of you boys out there, we’ve still got two Test matches. So let this f—ing thing sting. We had our chances to win that game and we f—ed it up.
S**t happens. We can talk about that another time. Let’s take time, stick together … it’s not game over, it’s not toys out of the cot, it’s a game of cricket. Shit f—ing happens. Yes, it was important and we wanted it. … we should have f—ing won it. Let’s move on and start getting our heads around winning the next two f—ing Tests.”
It may not be Churchillian. It’s probably more Allan Border-esque. But it was what was needed in the moment. And history shows that the Aussies found the strength to rebound and win the following Test at Old Trafford and retain the cherished urn.
His call to arms. Surely Tim Paine’s finest.
Now Paine finds himself at a crossroads in his career and in his life. A crisis of his own making, to be sure. But if I knew him, I’d try to find the words he needs to hear to put what has just happened into context.
I just want to say, Tim, that giving up the captaincy and taking an indefinite break from the game is going to bloody hurt a lot, no doubt. You stuffed up. So let that bloody sting. S**t happens. You and your admirable wife have already talked about it. You took your time, you stuck together. It’s not game over, it’s not toys out of the cot.
It may be your Test cricket career. S**t bloody happens. Yes, another summer was important and you wanted it. You shouldn’t have sent those text. But let’s move on and start getting your head around whatever is left for you in the game of cricket and in your life.
That’s my call to arms. A call to place our collective arms around Tim Paine and pray that he’s okay.
For what he gave us during his three years as captain, we owe him that.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
what an irony for the general . ringside in Hobart watching Carey top score for Australia and save them in the second innings. hope your at the ground watching Carey prove what I said to you all along mate. enjoy Carey's dogged batting and fight on a green top wicket exactly what I told you three years ago in uk mate but you wouldn't listen to it . enjoy in Hobart
Pierro
Roar Rookie
held kept beautifully all series , paines gone now we can only compare Carey to players like inglis . Carey's also come In late pushing quickly for runs a few times . I think he will tour well as well . hope you get along to Hobart general ?
TheGeneral
Roar Rookie
Pierro, buddy. Carey batting - six innings average 18. Long way short of your predicted 40. Makes Paine's average look Bradmanesque. Oh and just dropped a chance Paine would have gobbled up.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
General , a glorious day , as I told you smith would captain again. Justice . Paddy is hugely missed but smiths return to leadership restored and inept leadership removed.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
Embrace Carey go on general you know you want to. Accept positive change. The upside is Australia will improve
TheGeneral
Roar Rookie
Can you please stop the Paine denigration. He is gone. You wish has come true master. Gloat all you like. I will just accept the fact that Paine was appointed in a crisis. He did a terrific job in difficult circumstances. Please stop this constant criticism of Paine. Boy I hope for your sake ( and Australia too ) that Carey does well, but if he doesn't I will hit back hard. To my way of thinking he is an ok bat, but poor keeper. Inglis, Pearson and even Phillipe are better keepers.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
Destiny Carey is selected . I told you it was inevitable general . Time to stop digging the boot in to the Australian wicket keeper and stop that anti Carey campaign tiger . Finally three years on he is in and as you say paines average fell away to 27 in last four years exactly as I told you we needed Carey in . That was what I was saying all along to you Paine batting was slipping away but it was his captaincy realllyfirst and carey uk batting . I did not call to oust paine until englands ashes. It was the right call despite your bias and lack of foresight and the inevitable as Paine caused more damage . Thanks for the supporting evidence that paines batting av slipped to 27 right as I called for the change and you refused to chsnge
TheGeneral
Roar Rookie
Paine only played 35 tests, wow you do realize he missed 7 years out of the game through injury. I would assume that but for the injury he would have had 11 years of playing test cricket. You talk about batting on roads in Australia. In his first four series he played for Australia. AWAY to Pakistan - average 26. AWAY to India - average 46. HOME to England - average 48. AWAY to South Africa - average 43. So before he was made captain, played four series, 3 of them away and was averaging 43 in test cricket. After being made captain his form did fall away averaging 27. But having to keep and captain could well have contributed to that. Anyway isn't time to stop bashing Paine in all your posts. He is now ancient history. Boy I hope for your sake Carey does not fail in the upcoming series, otherwise I will derive pleasure in reminding you of his performances.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
Except Marsh played against the best bowling attack of the West Indies of all time. Come again tiger. you don’t get underneath the stat attacks much do you. Garner , Holding and co. and the Botham era . Good luck with any keeper batting against them. Timmy wouldn’t have lasted two seconds with his away form against them and his last 14 or 15 tests on home soil after a mediocre england tour away.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
General healy and haddin played some tougher teams and way more tests than Paine I suspect. Healy 119 tests. Haddin 66 tests. Paine a paltry 35 tests and most of them on home soil. Once again Paine had a concrete deck batting first against Pakistan and NZ over five tests and all our bats captured big runs in was a bonus session . It bolstered averages and papered over the UK ashes cracks and Indian cracks even though Paine had one decent batting innings against India. There are arguments against you quoting pure stats with Paine only playing 35 tests which is a small sample size and some questionable opposition outside of India (who last series had a second string bowling attack) but 9 of those India tests were on home soil too , and pakistan and NZ (their bowling decimated) gift boxes were another 5 tests on home soil concrete decks . I haven’t looked beyond that but thats 14 tests on australian friendly pitches just to begin with in the later stages of his career which is where you say he picked up his average . Tut Tut so its a bit of a false economy with his date. He was poor away from home and hasn’t travelled away in four years. Carey would have racked up more in the last 14 home test matches and england series for sure seeing he starred on english soil
David Kelly
Guest
awesome article well done, and spot on
Pierro
Roar Rookie
More in to paine on captaincy than anything else and think carey/inglis are probably better with bat , certainly at this point in time. I don’t think Paine needed a swan song tour after 9 months off with injuries Matt. Its not even a debate now he needs a mental health break. We have way more upside with carey or paine and they will go subcontinent. Lets get them in . the Inglis v Carey debate is a close one actually. I lean to careys international experience but am concerned we want Inglis to get a match so he can’t play for England as in a few years he may certainly be first choice the way he is going but coming in with no red ball cricket for two months and just a lack of international exposure concerns me . Carey is ready, hit a great century on weekend all be it white ball and if he doesn’t have a good series Inglis is not far off either.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
.. and that last line is why Sangakarra doesn't make the cut.
Derek Murray
Roar Rookie
No doubt he's our best keeper (perhaps better glovemen but only marginally and nobody comes close for impact as a batsman) and people may have some personal favourites they'd like to toss in. The only guy I'd really contemplate would be Sangakara, who was probably a better batsman but only when playing solely as a batter
matth
Roar Guru
Reeked of “get ready for a broken arm” didn’t it.
matth
Roar Guru
From memory, Paine’s test average is higher than Carey’s first class average
matth
Roar Guru
If Paine had in his resume a not out 60 and then two matches of failures, Pierro you would have had him drawn and quartered.
matth
Roar Guru
An article is on its way Jeff
Playing on a green Adelaide Oval wicket with Chad Sayers having his best season.....who is a top of off out swing bowler. Not exactly earth shatteringly good.
matth
Roar Guru
Great comment, exactly what I want to say, but better.