Who makes the cut for a cricket carrot-top XI?

The cricket world has been blessed with its fair share of red-headed players over the years, and they are usually special talents.

Gingers Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow were among England’s best in the recent Ashes series, and Cricket Australia may yet prove their wisdom and pull a master stroke by appointing carrot-top Andrew McDonald as the next Australian coach.

Unfortunately, though, redheads don’t always get the recognition they deserve, and are sometimes subject to derision, so to partially address this, and to have a bit of fun for a change, here’s a team made up of some of my favourites, and these guys are good to go in whatever format they can get a game in.

1. Martin Guptill (c)
Guptill is the Ragnar Lothbrok of cricket, and combines striking good looks with a great strike rate. Who better to get the innings off to a dynamic start. The big Kiwi loves to smash the ball around the park in all forms of cricket and is very hard to reign in once he gets going.

2. Chris Rogers
Colour blind, short-sighted and a redhead. What could go wrong?

Despite this apparent disadvantage, Rogers went from being a prolific run-scoring cricket journeyman to Australian Test opener in 2008 at the age of 30. He failed to impress, though, and had to wait another five years for his second chance, going on to average 40.77 in the 2013 Ashes tour of England, and nearly 43 in his 25-Test career.

3. Ben McDermott
Ben McDermott makes the side both on ability and through nepotism, following a strongly-worded reference from his father, Craig. Young McDermott has the ability to be a run-scoring weapon at the top of the order but just needs to convert more of his starts into big scores.

4. Ollie Pope
The 2021-22 English Ashes squad looked top-heavy with gingers, and some of those gingers just looked to be too top-heavy to be in any sort of form. Ollie Pope, however, looked trim, taught and terrific and at least looks like a cricketer. I’ll show some faith in him even if the English selectors have their doubts.

(Tom Dulat/Getty Images)

5. Gary Cosier
Getting the right balance in a team is critical, and that’s why Cosier is an automatic pick. Arguably the first (and only?) red-headed Australian batsman to score 100 on his Test debut, Cosier could not only bat, bowl and field with aplomb, but also knew the value of enjoying the social aspect of the game to the full.

6. Eoin Morgan
A red-headed Irishman? Who would have thought?

Morgan brings a lot of experience and energy to this team and it just may be needed. The perfect aggressive batting option at 6, Morgan has an excellent strike rate and can really motor when he gets going. He will also set a very high standard in the field.

7. Colin Miller
One of the more interesting cricketers to have played the game, no one deserves to be in this side more than Colin Miller. Although not naturally a red head, he had a penchant for changing his hair colour almost as often as his batting gloves, with the three primary colours being his favourites. That shows commitment!

Oh yes, he was also quite a handy bowler who could also seamlessly switch between medium pace and spin.

8. Stuart Poynter (wicketkeeper)
“Stuart who?” I hear you say. Well, every team needs a roughie, and Poynter’s my man. I can’t go past either his rich red locks and beard, or his Irish Test batting average of 0.5. Love it!

He’s quite a good wicketkeeper by all reports and can actually bat, having scored two centuries and six fifties at first-class level. He’s also built for comfort, and looks like he’d enjoy a Guinness or two.

9. Peter Pollock
Peter had two things in common with both his younger brother Graeme and his son Shaun: they all had red hair, and could all play cricket, really well. Peter Pollock was a lethal right arm fast bowler and a more-than-useful lower order batsman.

10. Arnie Sidebottom
Anyone who can play first-class cricket for 19 years with both red hair and a name like Sidebottom has the grit and determination to make this side. And let’s not forget that he’s also a one-Test wonder. Beyond that, he was a very good fast bowler for Yorkshire, taking nearly 600 first-class wickets at an average of 24.4, and chipped in with the bat to score over 4500 runs at an average of just over 22.

11. Craig McDermott
Unless Warnie changes his hair colour next time he gets a cranial top up, Craig McDermott remains the most successful red-headed Australian bowler of all time, sitting in seventh place with 291 wickets at 28.63. He also ticks all the boxes to fill the specialist number 11 batting slot.

Carrot-top Andrew McDonald will, of course, coach the side, with fellow redhead George Bailey acting as sole selector.

Roarers, who else do you think deserves a run in this side?