You can always trust Eddie Jones to bring some chat. Pre game, staged antics at press conferences that would make ranting political leaders proud – as does his jibing that hits right where it hurts.
Jones was at his best again after the Wallabies loss on Saturday, eloquently describing how much he loved seeing the disappointment of drunken Wallabies fans who had been growling for victory at Suncorp Stadium.
Not to pull up stumps, the grand old master is at it again this week, asking why the Wallabies and their fans haven’t done their own fair share of gee-ups this series against England. Jones said the Wallabies have been invisible and aren’t doing enough to promote the game in its battle against the NRL.
England coach Eddie Jones (Photo by Mark Evans – RFU/The RFU Collection via Getty Images)
I’ve got news for Eddie, and he says he reads the news every morning, so hopefully he reads this submission from a bona fide rugby fan: your team are dull, rugby has become torture, and your team are the symbolic reflection of everything that’s wrong with it.
This is the case from the RFU oafs who hold up progress and get elected to World Rugby, to your players, and right down to you. If you win on Saturday, good for you, but you just aren’t capturing my attention or imagination, and it shouldn’t really be a surprise.
There’s plenty of evidence to suggest the sporting public of Australia agrees with me, too. The first two Tests against England didn’t sell out and rated pretty averagely on television.
They were appalling contests filled with stoppages, contentious and technical rules, and generally just a frustrating experience to watch.
Jordan Petaia of the Wallabies (Photo by James Worsfold/Getty Images)
Then there’s England. Guy Porter, centre debutant, didn’t even touch the ball until midway through the second half last week.
I went to both the Wallabies game on Saturday night and Origin on Wednesday, and the stats painted a frankly damning, embarrassing juxtaposition against the rugby match that should be immediately addressed (but will be ignored by the ignoramuses like Bill Beaumont that run the game).
The stats are damning – 26 penalties against six in State of Origin, six tries versus 3, 55 minutes of ball in play time versus 30 odd.
On every single statistic, the State of Origin finale put rugby to shame. Add in a cocktail of contentious decisions from antiquity era laws (why should knocking the ball down even be a penalty at all?), as well as constant stoppages, random TMO interventions, and it made the whole thing a frustrating drag.
As a long time partisan rugby supporter, the type that defends the code when League fans are savaging it, it hurts to say, but the rugby just wasn’t even on the same planet.
At one point, I turned around and asked an English fan if “good old boy Tories” actually show up to Twickenham and pay 300 quid to watch this kind of drab, even if England are winning. I thought it was a valid question. Who would show up and watch the style of play that England have, even as a supporter?
Let alone pay 300 pounds for it? Why? What was entertaining about it? That’s a genuine question. I don’t know why you’d find it entertaining to watch this team play. To me it just seems like a plain old waste of an afternoon.
So, we come to Eddie Jones. He comes out and has press conferences that are frankly more entertaining than his own team. I’ve watched the press conference, it was decent entertainment.
Eddie’s turn of phrase is fantastic – highly skilled, like a great set piece that sucks journalists in looking for a big hit. Then, he sidesteps the question brilliantly, turns it around for an intercept at the other end. Fantastic. Too bad his team just completely blows to watch.
But it gets worse. See, Eddie’s complaining is not only nonsense, it’s also complete hypocrisy. This is the same Eddie Jones, for example, that was a key figure on the committee that vetoed 20 minute red cards – the same red cards which have ruined countless matches for the rugby public and caused endless controversies.
Eddie, given the chance to jump off his bully pulpit for five seconds and make meaningful reforms, bottled it.
Little wonder then, that people aren’t interested. At every opportunity to reform, rugby seems intent on taking a backward step.
The frustration, tortured into heartland fans like myself for years, can only be taken for so long. Maybe Eddie should think about where he’s taking the game on the rules committee.
Guess
Roar Rookie
penalty kicks
FunBus
Roar Rookie
This belief that the Wallabies are the Harlem Globetrotters of world rugby is one of the more puzzling aspects of this whole debate. Here are the number of points scored by England in their last 11 matches against the Wallabies: 33, 39, 23, 44, 21, 30, 37, 40, 32, 28, 25, 21.
FunBus
Roar Rookie
Meanwhile, the finger-jabbing Aussie tool accosting foreign strangers at matches and informing them unbidden about ‘good old tory boys’ and how this stranger’s team and country are ‘ruining the game’ is just perfectly reasonable.
FunBus
Roar Rookie
It's an interesting one, isn't it? I suppose my question for 'Spikhaza' is what did the guy who was quietly watching the game say when you turned round and started poking your finger at him and talking about 'good old Tory boys' and how his team and country are 'ruining the game?' I know a few blokes who might have responded with a swift right hand. I think my response would have been ' the Wallabies are free to run the ball and 'thrill us' all from anywhere they like on the pitch. Now, turn back round and leave me alone, you arrogant, superficial, tool, I'm trying to watch the match.'
Dublin Dave
Roar Rookie
Frankly, Spikhaza, on the evidence of this article, I wouldn't put you in charge of a school pantomime. Because you would have the handsome prince and the comely maiden but you would completely leave out The Villain. What's the point of a pantomime if you can't encourage the audience to shout out their concern to the hero or heroine that The Villain "is BEHIND you!!" ? You just don't get England. Their purpose is not to BE entertaining; it's to provide entertainment by being the one team we can all look forward to attempting to defeat. And we have to work at it because they're big and ugly and expedient and dastardly and they're not going to let us get the better of them easily. But it makes it all the more enjoyable when we do. The English know this, and they're honest about it. They have taken the theme song from their closest counterparts in soccer, the rough and very tough Millwall FC, whose fans love to sing to the tune of Rod Stewart's Sailing "No one likes us. No one likes us. They all hate us. WE DON'T CARE!!!!" They don't. They will stuff the ball up their jumper, grind your faces into the dirt and scrum and ruck time, and choke you like a gorilla in the mauls. They will kick the leather off the ball to find touch in your half (or in your 22, if they're clever) and then maul the ball from the subsequent lineout over your goal line from anywhere within the 22. If you want to beat them, you have to be smarter and faster because you're unlikely to be bigger and uglier. Hence the contrast of styles which often produces the most gripping, the most exhilarating and sometimes the most memorable rugby.
Guess
Roar Rookie
I don’t remember if I ever said this before but yes it is :silly:
Guess
Roar Rookie
You don't sound like a happy person with that passive aggressive comment
Guess
Roar Rookie
Won't work in SH. Thankfully
Cadfael
Roar Guru
Maybe but England won a number of 5/6 Nations scoring few tries but to packed houses.
Guess
Roar Rookie
You're desensitised to boredom. Is it the Weather :laughing:
Guess
Roar Rookie
There's so much wrong with a win is a win argument
Brad
Roar Rookie
Rugby is very popular in SA and is growing. We're mostly very happy with our rugby. Not sure what you're bothered about ????
Jim
Guest
Big pram , little person
Ruckin' Oaf
Guest
Northern Hemisphere will watch scrum after scrum Fixed that for ya.
Mr Fox
Roar Rookie
Had a good giggle reading this. Yes. The sound of Aussie complaints... it's a residual side effect of England getting the better of them. England fans have no problem getting bilked as long as they keep humbling the Wallabies. Worth every penny. Your rage is a free bonus for which we are grateful.
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
Xenophobia? Have you looked at the definition? Oh, my dear, another ignorant guest. My mother would put you in your proper place, as you asked.
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
I have accepted the SA style of forward dominated play which was reintroduced unashamedly by Erasmus after the disaster of Alistair Coetzees basketball approach and he admits to doing that in order to capitalize on SAs historic strengths . Certainly achieved the desired results . But SA as a country is changing and so is its rugby foundations along with it . During the URC SA teams made full use of the exciting backline talent emerging mostly from black South Africans joining the sport . Athletic and agile and the Europeans had no answer to them or rather the combo of forward power and backline pace . The majority of this current Irish team is made up of Leinster players who were despatched in their own backyard by The Bulls . . That’s my frustration is that Bok Rugby is slow even afraid to rethink how we wish to play . Afraid to let go . Afraid to trust in the talents available . I’m not sure a one dimensional approach will prevail in France 2023 . May as well go for broke but can the current coaching staff ? Big question.
FunBus
Roar Rookie
You can tell yourself incessantly until you’re blue in the face that ‘the world’ is turning away from rugby. It isn’t. Rugby is going from strength to strength everywhere except NZ because they’ve started losing regularly, and Australia because you prefer two sports the rest of the world aren’t remotely interested in.
Greg
Guest
Ah Carlos and his familiar stench of xenophobia! How’s your Mommy Carlos? :laughing: :laughing:
wre01
Roar Guru
Not sure you can say league is played anywhere else meaningfully. PNG, some Pacific Islands, small pockets in Northern England, Auckland and Catalan country… All I know is that it’s beyond a doubt that hard core rugby followers are turning away from the game in significant numbers, especially in Aus but also in other countries.