Panthers, Storm or Roosters - why the most 'cynical' teams this finals series are the only ones who can win the premiership

Before you read this article, please consider what commentators and the media refer to as a cynical penalty, and how this affects NRL games.

To place a context on my definition of “cynical”, below are a few personal definitions:

• knowing the rules of the game, to deliberately concede a penalty to disadvantage the team in possession of the ball
• knowing the rules of the game, to deliberately prevent any opposing player the opportunity to participate in their team attacking play
• knowing the rules of the game, to deliberately prevent any opposing player the opportunity to participate in their team’s defensive play
• knowing the rules of the game, to deliberately delay play

With one more round to go to determine the NRL 2022 finals placings, it seems to me that the teams with the best chance of winning this year’s premiership are the Panthers, the Storm or the Roosters.

Why?

Their coaches are the best ‘cynical footy’ coaches.

And… each of these three teams’ coaches have actually won a premiership before.

To Raiders fans: yes, I know Ricky won one ages ago and the Canberra Raiders will likely fill the 8th spot for the finals.

But will they have a chance of winning their 5 vs 8 Elimination Final match, most likely against the Storm? No!

The Raiders have proven throughout this season that they are not capable of matching these three teams. They have surprisingly managed to take the 8th spot away from the fast-fading, over-achieving Broncos after destroying Manly this weekend. Whether the Raiders or the Broncos make the 8, everybody knows that they are just delaying Mad Monday.

Experienced coaches (and experienced teams under said coach) continually show that they can win big matches & finals by:

• Understanding the way the game is managed & officiated by the current NRL referees,
• Knowing that playing ‘cynical footy’ has very few negative consequences, and many advantages, and
• Knowing that the 10 minute sin-bin is not really a deterrent to playing cynical footy, as long as you know how to manage that 10 minute period (slow the ball down, waste time, challenge the ref, give away penalties in the opposition half, kick the ball dead, feign an injury so the trainer spends two minutes magically healing your imaginary cramp – you know all the tricks).

The Storm have enjoyed 20 years of success by playing cynical footy. They are widely recognised for introducing wrestling tactics, grapple tackles, chicken wings (insert many other fancy names for Judo moves here) and more such dark arts to the game.

Due to the Storm’s long-term success, every other football coach and team has tried to imitate these tactics to varying degrees. Without fail, around Round 22 or 23, the Storm receive excessive media focus for their cynical footy – particularly when Cameron Smith was the captain of the Storm.

(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

The Storm managed to stay ahead of every other team for many years until late 2017-early 2018 . Trent Robinson worked out that giving away penalties in your own 10 metre zone wasn’t actually detrimental to your team, if they were fit enough and cynical enough to defend seven tackles rather than six.

When the Roosters played this style of footy or to quote Robinson, “Rooster ball,” referees and the NRL brains trust had no desire/will/inclination/balls to deter this negative tactic.

Referees would never use the sin-bin for repeatedly holding the man down, due to the popular misconception that 10 minutes is too much of a punishment. Roosters players were so well trained in this new “Rooster ball” method, that, after conceding a penalty within their red-zone, they would:

• question the referee’s decision (Boyd Cordner, James Tedesco, Cooper Cronk et al)
• require immediate medical treatment by their blue/orange shirt guy
• or need a HIA assessment by their orange shirt guy

With referees discouraged from sending more than one player to the sin bin for repeated professional infringements, Trent Robinson’s Roosters won the “First One to Blink Contest” by beating the previous best-in-the-business, the Storm. They won the Premiership in 2018, and then fine-tuned their cynical play further in 2019 to take out that premiership as well.

Interestingly, Cooper Cronk, who is well respected for his footy brain, was an integral part of the Storm for so many years, and then went to the Roosters and won back-to-back premierships with the Chooks.

Co-incidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

So what happened next?

In 2020 – COVID year one – V’LandysBall was born.

Funnily enough, Trent Robinson was on the Rules committee to help determine these new rules.

Ivan Cleary, a very experienced coach (the 2nd most games coached without winning a premiership at that point), formulated a variation of “Rooster ball.” He had predominately young, fit and skilful players on the rise, who could handle the extra defensive workload of giving away constant cynical penalties in the red zone.

The new six again rule complimented the Panthers’ new way of playing – Fast, Up-Tempo, Energetic, (dare I say arrogant) and cynical.

The result – losing grand finalists to the Storm in 2020. But then in 2021, one minor premiership and one actual one. Most pundits believe they are odds-on to win this year’s big game as well.

Only the teams with a very experienced coach who understands, practises and his team plays cynical footy have a chance of knowing the Panthers over this year.

Sorry Eels fans, Sharks fans and Raiders fans, that eliminates your teams from being in the GF.

The Sharks have a newbie head coach in Craig Fitzgibbon. Even though he has spent many years learning “Rooster ball” under Trent Robinson at the Roosters, it is his first year with Cronulla, so no GF for them.

To the Raiders fans, you guys have been through a bit too much this year to be a serious threat. Also, Ricky won his one and only Premiership two decades ago, playing a totally different style of footy.

Brad Arthur has had a long and relatively successful tenure with the Eels, but despite his team managing regular season wins against the best cynical teams – most notably the Storm and Panthers of late – his team can’t do it enough when the degree of cynicism needed to win the most important games is essential.

The Cowboys have punched so far above their weight this season (especially after last year) that I think most people would be happy to see them win at least one finals game. However, I believe that they are not cynical enough to win three finals games in a row.

Todd Payten has had two seasons with the Cows now, so if he can ‘cynicise’ (not a word but bear with me) their footy, they might be able to beat the current champions over the next few years.

The teams in with a shot are the ones that know how to play cynical footy the best – the Panthers, Storm and Roosters. The Storm are no longer the best at it – the Panthers are. The Roosters just proved last Friday night that they can still play that cynical game – enough to handle the Storm, at least.

(Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

Plus, I’ll never write off the best cynical coach in Craig Bellamy.

I haven’t mentioned the Rabbitohs so far, as I place them alongside the Sharks and the Cowboys, as teams with new-ish coaches, who have to understand, analyse and master the cynical method of playing in the NRL as it operates now.

I strongly believe the term ‘cynical’ should be replaced in commentary and media by the words ‘professional infringement’. We have seen way too many examples of players ‘giving away’ penalties in their own red zone.

It is not accidental! It is not incidental! It is not fatigue-induced!

It is a coached and learned tactic ingrained by their coach to give them the competitive advantage!

Don’t get me started on the term ‘gamesmanship’, either.

As I understand the NRL rules (it is really hard to keep up with changes, interpretations and directives), deliberate penalties should, at a minimum, be penalised in the first instance, then a sin-bin should be used on any further deliberate infringement.

Because holding the man down in the red zone IS a deliberate tactic, you should not get an advantage by deliberately giving away a penalty in the same or following set of six without a greater consequence (a 10-minute sin-bin).

Because it is a coached tactic, or learned behaviour, I place this squarely at the feet of the NRL coaches. As stated, the three coaches who are the best at cynical footy are, in order: Craig Bellamy, Trent Robinson, and now Ivan Cleary.

It has become hard to watch a top-of-the-table clash because you know you’re getting a different sort of game to a bottom eight game. But the fact remains that ‘cynical footy’ wins games, and then over the course of the year, premierships, in this current version of the NRL.

Does winning at any costs truly make you a winner?

Or am I just being cynical?