Four questions the Australia-New Zealand Test series will answer

The Australia-New Zealand Test series starts this Thursday. Here are the questions that need to be answered.

What’s up with the pink ball?
Unless you’ve been hiding under a Matador barbecue for the past few weeks, you’ve no doubt heard the player complaints about the pink ball that’s been trialled in the lead up to the first ever day/night Test in Adelaide later this month.

It’s been blamed for everything from being too difficult for colour blind batsmen to see to being too difficult for non-colour blind batsmen to see. Spectators may also not be able to see it, nor fielders, nor umpires, nor DRS. It inspires boring cricket and, apparently, World Cup-losing rugby. With all the hate it’s been getting, you’d think the pink ball was Hitler’s other testicle.

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But let’s get real, people. Open your minds and take a look at the bigger picture. The pink ball is nothing more than an obvious, shameless Cricket Australia ploy to transition Mitchell Starc’s blistering white ball form to the red ball game.

The day/night Test? The New Zealand tour? The very existence of Adelaide? All part of the conspiracy to get Starc bowling in Tests like he does in the shorter forms of the game.

Will it work? Perhaps. But, if not, they may also need to work on getting his kit to a halfway point between the creams and the pyjamas as well.

Will Sheffield Shield form translate into Australian selection?
The Australian team for the first Test was selected halfway through the first Sheffield Shield round of the summer. This left little chance for aspirants to the Test squad to press their claims, especially given the fact that they also had to deal with the previously discussed pink ball blues.

Rather a shame, really, because youngster Travis Dean stepped up to become the first player to ever score twin centuries on Sheffield Shield debut during Victoria’s nine-wicket win against Queensland. In the process, he spent every single minute of the game on the crowd, either fielding or being impossible to dismiss while batting. Selfish, really, when you think about it.

You’d like to think that had the selectors seen the entire match and heard the chant of ‘We love Deano because he’s a Victorian’ that rang out around the MCG for the first time since the mid-1990s, they would have whisked young Dean up to the Gabba to partner David Warner during the First Test.

But perhaps the selectors aren’t the blinkered fools we all think. It’s clear to everybody that Travis Dean is going to be better than Bradman. The important thing now is to not put too much pressure on the kid. He doesn’t need that.

Are we even following the right Australian team?
Meanwhile, over in Blacktown, the man who Travis Dean replaced for Victoria, Aaron Finch, was scoring 288 not out as part of a quintuple century opening partnership with Ryan Carters (209) for the Cricket Australia XI against New Zealand.

Yes, quintuple century. The one with a ‘qu’. And also an ‘int’.

In response to CAXI’s 1/503d, word spread that New Zealand double declared – whatever that means – effectively forfeiting the match.

As it turned out, not everything was as it seemed. Closer inspection revealed that the pitch was dangerous to bat on and New Zealand captain Brendon McCullum had therefore taken his strike bowler Tim Southee out of the attack after just three overs.

Also, double declaring? Apparently, not really a thing. Which was particularly devastating, as I was hoping that the next level would be ‘a triple dog declare, no take backsies’.

Furthermore, as it turned out, the match was officially abandoned rather than forfeited.

But let’s ignore all these facts that ruin an otherwise fantastic cricketing comedy punchline. The Cricket Australia XI, regardless of who plays for them, and what form of the game they’re playing, are now easily the second most interesting side to follow in world cricket. Crazy things just happen around this astonishing team.

A CAXI v Pakistan series, please.

What can Brendon McCullum teach us next?
The Cricket Australia XI game was yet another opportunity for us to all learn from Brendon McCullum. The great man has developed from being just Nathan’s big-hitting little brother into an outstanding statesman of world cricket.

Whether it’s the best way to play cricket (attackingly), the best way to sledge (just don’t) or now the best way to deal with a dodgy pitch (gift half a thousand runs to the opposition then invent a thrilling new method for not batting on it yourself), McCullum leads the way, and the rest of the cricketing world dutifully follows.

After the infamous Ben Stokes incident during the ODI series against England where Australia appealed for a wicket and the umpires gave the batsman out according to the laws of the game, Brendon McCullum explained that Steve Smith ‘missed a great opportunity to strike a blow for the spirit of cricket’ by not calling Stokes back. Smith has hopefully learned from this shameful mistake and, under McCullum’s watchful eye, expect him to be much more careful during this Test series with the way he abides by umpires’ decisions.

Of course, McCullum has also recently testified in the Chris Cairns trial that he was aware of Cairns’ match-fixing efforts but took three years to mention it to authorities. I’m still not a hundred per cent clear on why that was the right thing to do. But we know for sure it must be and, like one of the great religious riddles, it’s often more important to ponder the question than be given a clear answer.

So, bring on the cricket summer and let’s get pondering.