Channel Nine commentators: A review of their summer thus far

We’ve all shared our thoughts on everything the recent Test series had to offer – including the magical powers of lozenges – with the exception of how the most important team fared: the Channel Nine commentary team.

Some may think it won’t matter, but Robelinda on Youtube is compiling hours and hours of highlights that geeks like me are going to watch for the years to come.

This means that I’m going to hear the Channel Nine boys long after they retire or are pushed aside. It’s important – for the point of Youtube posterity – that they do a decent job.

Just before the series began we were greeted with the glorious news that noted self-googler Brad McNamara had moved on to different opportunities and left Nine (Hi Brad, hope you are well. Merry Christmas).

And there were more changes to come.

Commentary teams were reduced from three to two, while Brett Lee, Michael Hussey and at long last, James Brayshaw, were no longer apart of the coverage.

We were told that there would be a stronger focus on commentating the cricket again, and that the jocular boys club attitude that was prevalent with a three-man panel would disappear in a two-man panel.

So, how did we rate the team’s efforts?

Mark Taylor
Taylor seems to have toned down his overly pro-Australian bias and more specifically, the hyperbole in his commentary regarding Australian achievements.

Whether this is a result of a new direction or simply because Australia did so poorly, remains to be seen.
Grade: C+

Mark Nicholas
In the past, listening to Nicholas try to act like a buffoon to fit in, was utterly cringeworthy. His accent and somewhat ‘outsider’ status was always going to make that impossible.

Relieved of trying to be one of the boys, Nicholas has returned to delivering his strong insight into the global game.

He has always been a good Test commentator though, so no surprises there. It’s T20I matches where he seems to go off the rails.
Grade: B+

Shane Warne
Very, very disappointing. Warne constantly talked about himself, frequently went off track, spoke about insider anecdotes, and started to act like a grumpy old sook when he was aggrieved by something.

He did a lot of complaining and not much in the way of offering solutions. Perhaps having to talk about cricket without acting like one of the boys is a bit too much for him now.
Grade: D-

Michael Slater
I tried. I really did. But all I can think of is what Michael Slater used to be as a commentator when he was on Channel four, and what was his nadir a few years ago, when he dressed up as Richie, and I can only shake my head.

He seems to have irrecoverably lost his edge onscreen. I’m happy to stand corrected but I’m giving him an F.
Grade: F

Ian Chappell
Chappell seems happier, as in, he seems like he’s no longer in stunned disbelief as to what he has just heard others say.

Though he is still constantly in the “in my day” mode of commentary, he redeems himself by remaining remarkably insightful.
Grade: C+

Ian Healy
Aside from his accurate imitation of Dr Nick Riviera’s medical knowledge, he is just offering nothing.

He thrived in the boys club era where his deplorable lack of knowledge was hidden behind the hooting of James Brayshaw, but in the new world, he’s got nowhere to hide.

I would much rather Michael Hussey on the panel instead.
Grade: F

Michael Clarke
He’s not bad. He seems to have settled in, and although he’s the most difficult to listen to with his accent, he does know his stuff.

My only criticism would be that he’s still a bit too fresh from the field, and is a bit hesitant about what to say and what not to say. He’ll get better with more time though.
Grade: C

Kevin Pietersen
Most might disagree with me, but I thought he was fantastic.

Yes, he did frequently use himself as an example, but he really did try to concentrate on adding a little more nuanced insight into the mentality of a batsman.

He spoke more about the value of making technical adjustments than any other commentator for some time. It showed that behind his tremendous ego, he really did know his stuff.

Additionally, his unique knowledge of some of the South African cricketers was welcomed.
Grade: A

Overall
It’s no surprise that the relics of the boys club are still the worst commentators on the panel at the moment – Warne, Slater and Healy.

Warne, if he can be controlled with some better direction, is redeemable. However, Slater and Healy have had their time and new blood should be found after this summer.

But for the most part, I was pleasantly surprised. I’m happy with the new direction and will watch the cricket with the sound at an audible level.

Until the T20Is of course. Then it will be mute all the way.