A celebration of The Roar's football tab

You place a full stop at the end of the article you have just penned. Having spent the last hour or two tapping away at the keys, you feel a sense of pride in your work.

The article explores some of the key issues around the A-League, the Socceroos and football in Australia. Your passion for the issues at hand is only matched by the sense of anticipation you feel after clicking on the icon that delivers your article to Australia’s best sporting website, The Roar.

The devilishly handsome and fair minded Patrick Effeney edits, cuts, pastes and turns your piece into something better than you could ever have imagined and you drift off to sleep in anticipation of the pending discussion and debate.

As your alarm reminds you of your mortgage and the fact that it won’t pay itself, you grab your device to check if your masterpiece has been posted. Indeed it has and a day on The Roar football tab has begun.

Peeko has beaten everyone to the jump, I’m not sure what time zone he is in or whether he ever sleeps, but his short, sharp and honest evaluation of your piece glares at you and might just set the tone for the rest of the day.

RealFootball isn’t far behind and his take is tinged with humour, positivity and a level headedness that makes you realise why you write articles in the first place.

As day breaks and buses, trains, trams, light rail (little political reference there) and cars take the learned men and women of the football tab off to work, the comments start to flow.

Mr Football settles into his day early and despite his misleading avatar that suggests his football passions lie elsewhere, he always engages with the topic at hand and is forthright with his opinions.

Waz always does the same and brings a critical eye to issues that often makes people think more laterally. He and Kaks have made you think about hundreds of issues in new ways over the years.

Total agreement doesn’t always occur yet rarely does their passion for the game inspire animosity in a fair minded person.

It’s around recess time, (leave me alone I’m a school teacher, it’s how I talk) that the pot starts to stir a little after Jeff Milton post a typically sarcastic and witty comment that somehow gets under the skin of Nemesis.

The real identity of this man remains a mystery to you. Many Roarers refer to him as ‘fuss’, this has to be a reference to ‘fussball’, yet further pseudonyms pop up every now and again and as near as you can tell, he works in some sort of undercover capacity.

CIA, MI5 or ASIO, you’re not sure, but you have a clear vision in your head of some sort of Austin Powers type; confident, opinionated and mysterious. Whether his charm results in a similar effectiveness with the opposite sex as Mr Powers is unclear, but it would stand to reason.

Some hard core numbers and evidence is thrown in by Griffo who proudly displays his colours and the Sydneysider approaches your article with respect and honesty, despite a name that seems to automatically inspire disdain from other members.

As your belly starts to plan what to murder for lunch, things are in full swing. Punter’s passion for all things football gets him rolling and Northerner keeps him honest with some shrewd analysis.

By the time Post Hoc and Marron join in, your head is spinning with crowd figures, free-to-air television numbers, Foxtel subscription percentages and sarcastic insults that cause you to laugh out loud and your employer tells you to keep the noise down.

As the passion increases the posts often get longer, except for the curiously named c, who mostly uses a single line or two to convey their point. Mattq has a similar modus operandi and picks up others on many simple oversights.

Jamesb will often piggyback off the ensuring debate and Stevo checks in and out with wonderful comedic timing, just to remind everybody that things could be far worse.

As you knock off the final remnants of your gluten free, rocket and pear salad with Parmesan cheese and finish your soy decaf flat white (you must be a Sydney FC fan) the realisation that none of the discussion is centered around the vision you had for the article hits you square between the eyes.

‘What are they talking about,’ you shout in the lunchroom while peering into your tablet. The slow realisation sets in, that these strangely nicknamed football fans have hijacked your article. Bastards.

Before processing this completely, your thoughts turn to something far more serious as the article takes a turn into a very dark place. The music that accompanies Darth Vader in a Star Wars film echoes in your brain as you read the first comment posted by Anon.

Uh oh, here we go again, batten down the hatches, lock up your daughters and let the ‘code wars’ begin. Even the Jedi won’t get us out of this one.

What’s worse, is that he has allies, a crack team determined to question the game itself, crowd behaviour, flare etiquette and mount a defence of the bias in the media perceived by many football fans.

Within moments Rick Disnick is on the scene and Perry Bridge won’t be far behind.

SVB steps in and tries to offer stats, solutions and evidence to calm the trembling waters as AZ_RBB usually does when the chatter turns on his beloved Western Sydney.

His hilarious commentary through a rather poor article entitled ‘My not so magnificent night with a derby virgin, part two, thanks RBB you ruined it’, is some of the best stuff you have ever read on The Roar.

He flowed in and out of the conversation dropping brilliant one liners like, ‘burnt my toast this morning, I blame the RBB’, and another, ‘Agghh pins and needles in my leg. I blame the RBB.’ Seriously some of the best stuff to have occurred in 2016.

Epiquin attempts to come at things from a balanced perspective with his first allegiance to league but a genuine interest in all sport. Unfortunately he works too hard in the morning and by the time he enters the conversation, whatever he says, somebody is ready to take offence.

Bob Brown suffers the same fate, his comments are well considered, articulate and poignant, yet his AM workload hampers him. The issue of his real name was raised recently and you still can’t grasp why anyone would question such a respectful moniker.

As you frantically avoid doing work in any way shape or form, due to the fiery debate now raging around your article, some gems pop up late in the day to give you some well deserved relief.

MarkfromCroydon offers the thinking man’s view after critiquing much of the dialogue through the course of the day and your all-time favourite Caltex and SBS support Australian football makes himself known just as you enter the lift to begin your journey home.

Just when you think it’s all done and dusted, Ben from Phnom Penh puts you in stiches as you board the bus. His work is of pure genius.

The convenience of the mobile tablet is never more valuable than during the thirty minute train ride home and a friendly moniker appears. The experienced midfielder, composer of the first comment on you debut article years back; always measured, kind and constructive and along with the detailed, specificity of the respected jbinnie they present thought provoking observations for your journey home.

The whole process leaves you exhausted and the article only gets checked the following morning to see if any embers of the conversation are still burning. The odd comment pops up yet quality articles from Mike Tuckerman and David Lord have stolen the show.

A kernel of a new idea already burns and you sketch a few notes in preparation for a writing session later that night.

Some might think you are mad doing this to yourself, but it is your passion, just like football and despite the abuse, insensitivity and nonsense that can derail the discussion around the real issues facing Australian football, you realise something.

The football tab is a place for everyone, a beautiful place for a beautiful game, where disagreement is common, humour is appreciated and kindred spirits can share in something they love.