A club administrator has called for the immediate cancellation of the NRL, citing it as a “needless risk” to player safety.
The plea came as an angry response to Penrith CEO Brian Fletcher’s half-baked idea for alleviating workload issues which was to merely scrap the Auckland Nines.
The unnamed boss claimed Fletcher’s short-sighted solution proves the game still refuses to take player welfare seriously, labelling his “weak attempt at advocacy” as more “half-pregnant populist froth.”
As a result of the continued lip service, the administrator is now calling for strong and decisive action that will quash injuries conclusively.
With high numbers of fit, young, outrageously-compensated players at breaking point after holiday season, he will campaign to the governing body for the season to be shortened by a number somewhere in the vicinity of 100 per cent.
To support his push, the club executive will present a self-commissioned study to the league containing results which are set to “totally question the NRL’s value to rugby league in Australia.”
It is reported the studies definitively link rugby league to injuries, while also sensationally concluding the competition to be responsible for the majority of player ailments sustained each season.
The administrator will vouch for eliminating the NRL provides a double-pronged solution that works for everyone in the game except the fans or those with a financial stake.
Not only will it preserve footballers from football, it will also kill off other concerns in the game such as concussion and five-day turnarounds, while also conveniently freeing up players for European rugby.
He is also confident of the positive effect exterminating football would have on the NRL finals, with less teams set to limp in to September carrying shocking injury tolls.
But most importantly, the solution would benefit the game’s most precious commodity, the clubs.
With the administrator placing the value of his roster at “around $9 million- well, a declared $9 million anyway”, he is conscious of the need to save on medical costs, especially considering the next NRL grant is only coming in at 130 per cent on spend.
That’s why he believes “the less football for footballers, the better. If any at all, really.”
When questioned on the sustainability of clubs in an environment stripped of their staple product, the administrator said the shortfall would be made up from gambling revenue and the sale of advertising space in Friday night replays of old Broncos matches.
Lee Hockey
Guest
By stupid, do you mean South Sydney supporters?!
Glen
Guest
Already banned in some places. Ask our friends in the UAE
PalJoey
Guest
So callous! What would Booze Rothfield do without a sport to invent a daily crisis about? Wanton victimisation of the differently-refreshed, if you ask me.
db
Guest
If a person is too stupid to realise the artlicle is not serious then a label isn't going to help them.
Kelvin Nagas
Guest
He needs too go to another sport if he can't handle NRL..
Ferret
Guest
Noice Juan.
agent11
Guest
at least if the NRL was called off the Daily Telegraph would go out of business within a few weeks. What would they report? how would they sell papers?
Magnus M. Østergaard
Roar Guru
Will anything exist?
Aem
Guest
Quality. My hat is off to you, good sir.
c
Guest
are not the parents addressing this issue
bigbaz
Roar Guru
Like
Lee Hockey
Guest
I agree. This article needs to be labelled as 'satire'.
Sharkattack
Guest
It wouldn't surprise me if Rugby League was actually banned one day. Not that any of us will know, but will it exist in the year 2100?
Rabbitz
Roar Guru
I guess you've had one of those "Sense of humour-ectomies" that are so popular these days. May I suggest a stint in the room of mirrors?
concerned supporter
Guest
Stupid Article, demeaning the Roar.
kk
Roar Pro
Hi Dane, great to see you back at League Roar. Prophylactically speaking, we should do everything we can to curtail the spread of infectious Fletcherism. First graders are on the paddock for a surprisingly low maximum average of 3,920 minutes in the whole of their careers. (49 games x 80') To deny them a warm up of a few 9' stanzas and a trip to the most beautiful country on earth ranks as petty waffle of a man incapable of handling the long straight of Rugby League.
Norad
Guest
Excellent idea! Most of the NRL media wouldn't even notice the game was missing. The off field stuff and AFL is their daily bread.
sham
Guest
Great idea it would also solve another major issue. Many NRL fans hate the idea of expanding the game to new countries and to other parts of Australia apparently it is always unrealistic, you see it is better to always think small - insular is good. If the NRL is abolished then problem solved - nothing to expand. A win, win.