Australian rugby needs to address sport's mental health issue

James, the core issue is that it is such a taboo to talk about suicide. There are negative religious, moral and legal overtones. Twenty years ago it was a crime. That is why we use euphemisms such 'R UOK' 'self harm' something bad' instead of the word 'suicide' The fact that struck me was that people who are going to kill themselves really want someone to intervene as they are too consumed to seek help. Maybe you can relate to this during your tough time. This is why we have to overcome our unease talking about it..

Thanks Topo. This is a big subject and many more qualified than me have commented. It has been 36 years since my brother comitted suicide. He was 21. Each decade has been an evolution for me and my understanding of the event and the topic, combined with the growing and maturing of my boys and therefore "as a Dad, How do I make sense of it for them? I never talked about it until my mid 20's. My boys are 12 and 14. Last week the next community over from us had a youth take his life. We are all different and never really know how someone is doing, but some of the posts here have helped me piece a little more together, some of the mind set, and how to discuss the issue upfront. I'm giving back as an assitant coach. You can never underestimate how your actions/words today can have a positive impact on someone perhaps years later as they face some crisis. Giving them the tools to put in their toolbox. Ive picked up a few new tools today. Thanks.

This is a moving story. Makes me wonder if we all need to do this. I know so little about it. I had a tough time a couple of years ago, but I wasn't near that. I have tried to think about how people could come to that. There must be some serious despair there.

RIP Dan, one of the game's greats. But who knows why Dan the man got to where he did. Thanks Topo. Shame on the ARU for not hiring you on two counts. You would be the world's best scrum coach and an ideal counsellor for players. All the best champ.

Thanks Rickety Knees, and other posters on your thoughtful responses to Topo (and thank you very much, Topo). The devastating passing of Dan really needs to have an outcome where there is more discussion on support, and more vitality in communities to both 1) moderate our own behaviour, thoughts and actions with a look the effect on others 2) create a better balance between professionalism/excellence and recreation and reasonable standards. What brings people to such a point of despair? at what point do we recognise a person's self-reflection turns into self-hate? I'm not sure what the ARU's mental health programs are, but more importantly there needs to be an action at every level, to reach into the small communities surrounding each player.

Swimmers in Australia start so young as well. Ian Thorpe was winning medals and breaking world records against grown adults at the age of 15/16. A lot of Female swimmers in the past retired in their mid 20s. They haven't had a working career, if they aren't from the city they have to move to be close to the institutes for elite training, had big outside distractions while trying to finish school and if they don't have the endorsements their finances aren't in great shape either.

Hi Guys - I submitted the following to the Roar - which at this stage has not been published. I welcome any discussion. Dan Vickerman - a victim of our society I have been running "men's" courses and a men's group for more than 15 years, which includes working with men "at risk". In my travels I have taken the time to study consciousness and now have a degree in Metaphysical Science (investigating the fundamental nature of being and the world that encompasses it). I have studied indigenous cultures through the Metaphysical lens. A point of separation between the so called "civilised" world and the indigenous is that our world is predicated on conditional behaviour, the indigenous world is not (which many in the western world frown upon). Our world is largely based on conditional love - if you do "this" I will love you - if you do "that" I won't. The conditional love programming is instilled as soon as the child develops communication skills. And life's emotional roller-coaster begins. Through cultural programming, conditional love then translates to conditional self love/self esteem. If I achieve "this" I will love/approve of myself, if I don't achieve "this" I won't. Status anxiety is an everyday curse of the material world - do I drive the right car, live in the right suburb, where the right clothes etc. For the famous sports star the loss of status is palpable. In the light one day and in darkness the next. The personal markers (predicated on the person's life story) then come into play and the gravity of the situation increases with the level of perceived status loss. The perception of status and its loss is an emotional process which is felt deeply. If not acknowledged and processed in a healthy way, it can and most times will envelop the individual. I have read that Dan Vickerman was a very hard personal marker.

----The prevalent stigma does! That stigma of mental illness is nothing more than ignorance. If you could save one life by not telling someone there is a stigma to something, would you?

Great Topo, I wish you were more involve with UAR, your experience and common sense deserves it.

Well done Topo. This issue needs exposure by those who know and understand it. There are too many of us making assumptions about the issue and peddling ignorance. I am not a professional counsellor or otherwise qualified but depression is not unknown in my family. Those that do know need wind under the wing - all that is necessary to bring this social epidemic to balance. Last night a year 11 student at my son's school decided he had had enough. His family and social network are now in profound shock, including my son. The school is a few miles from your old club, Topo. Your voice in this conversation is appreciated. I cannot help but think that depression is a social disease as well as an individual one (of chemical imbalance etc.) If our society celebrated, modelled and promoted 'saner' lifestyles and thought patterns, imbalanced minds may have less to react to. Not to mention a social context that habitually supported them in weak moments. If rugby leads the way here so be it. Whoever leads a way must be found.

Well said Topo. My take on all of this is that it's a wider problem than rugby or sport in general. Sports however can and do play a key role in getting the message across, but let's not limit ourselves to former heroes when we look for those we have to help. Vale Dan Vickerman.

I admired you as a player Enrique , to that I now add the word respect .Recent research in South Africa's schools revealed disturbingly similar results to that of WHO .i.e. 1 in 4 children had or would suffer from mental health issues. Although obviously this is an Aussie forum and the reference is the Wallaby rugby team , it is in fact global . For every squad of 23 players , be they Wallabies , Boks , Puma's etc. , statistically at least 5 players need or may require assistance with mental illness. In the case of top level sport as has been clearly stated by previous posts there are unique factors that could compound the problem . The constant pressure of performance , the adrenaline rush , the fame and fortune that goes along with being a top sports entertainer , then , finally in retirement it all comes to a crashing halt. Dan Vickerman publically acknowledged his struggles with dealing with this same issue. We saw a Joost van der Westhuizen getting involved in drugs . The problem is far too large to be tackled by any single body , be that government , health departments etc but segments of society can make a huge difference. In the case of rugby as this is primarily a rugby conversation needs the IRB to look at it as a whole and produce a strategy to deal with its own unique issues and circumstances.

Crickey there is some serious intellectual horsepower on this blog! We have wise experienced professionals in the mental health sphere as well as ordinary folks like me. Topo, go for it. What support do you need?

I agree with your thoughts on R U Ok. I was concerned about my cousins behaviour and with the hope of discussing any thoughts of self harm, I met up with her to ask R U Ok. She said yes and the subject was dropped. The next day there was a brochure from the local council inviting people to a lecture on talking about suicide. I went along and found it very confronting. The course was based on the latest research which was very much in favour of discussing suicide openly. It pointed out signs to look for and gave a prescribed plan of how to discuss suicide with those who you think are at risk. Armed with these new skills I met with my cousin and calmly (despite being very anxious) asked "are you thinking about suicide?" The plan said to listen and for the next two hours I saw and heard a person in a terrible time of her life. I ended up taking her to the hospital where she was safe. She confided that she had 'a plan' which is the end stage for people thinking of suicide. I have since done the course again and I feel that I have the skills to notice the signs if any of my friends or family were thinking about suicide. Having heard the statements of people who have recently committed suicide I know I would have asked them the question: are you thinking about suicide? It is a really horrible topic to broach and I commend Topo for his efforts. The course is: suicideTALK

Thanks Topo... I feel and understand your frustration. Yours is a good fight.

Excellent comment LTOKR... compelling in it's detail, and no doubt aided by your professional experiences. Hey, this issue of mental health in our community, and how to deal with it is close to my heart. For the ease of conversation let's just say I work in private 'hospitality' and in this role I play a part in the housing of those beset with mental health issues. Not a lot but enough. In doing so I've learnt over the years (10+) that the need to house is only a small part of the overall aim of producing better outcomes for those who need the housing. Let alone the aftercare services required and follow-up once discharged from the care of the system. In general I've become an honorary member of the local mental health team. Have had to come to understand what medications do and don't do. What is really the better medicine option 'depots' (CTOs) versus those who 'self medicate' (blister packs). The later, on feeling better, just stops taking the medication and before you know it they have to go back to hospital to start all over again. My work is a private enterprise therefore profit but we do our bit for the local community. We get no support from any agency, government or otherwise, or charitable source unless I go begging for it. But we are, on the other hand, continually harassed, and bullied by hospitals and the like to house these people. The reality is I've become very street smart in how to get around the system... but it's taken me over 10 years to learn how to do so. And I still get stonewalled, rejected more often than not when trying to further help people. So what chance have, say ordinary people, with no experience got when it comes to helping someone who asks or needs help? " The mental health scourge is-already-an epidemic. We've just gotten so used to covering it up that nobody realises how pervasive it is." True right brother! Further, wait until the 'ice' melts the so-called system... what then?!?

Thanks Topo, As always you speak too much practical sense.

I recall a mate used to say every now and again, his dad would answer "no good", and people would almost breeze over it like they hadn't heard... so accustomed they are to hearing "good"...

I also think you need to be 'driven' and have a bit of an obsessive streak to reach the top in sport or in fact any walk of life - businessmen, politicians, artists, actors, comedians,... I don't think it's coincidence that guys like Jonny Wilkinson reach the top. I think there's a correlation. Anyhoo - what do I know. It's just an anecdotal observation. I do agree with Topo that the more sports like rugby and swimming do to look after their athletes (including most especially after they've finished their sporting careers), the better. The whole 'R U Ok' thing has always seemed a bit thin to me. In every country we've indoctrinated ourselves to answer positively to this question. In England it's "awright?", in Australia it might be "How's it goin?". People barely pause for an answer. I don't know what should be done aswell/instead but I'm guessing someone like Topo does. He knows a thing or two about scrummaging as well so he'd be a win/win no-brainer for the ARU as far as I'm concerned. :)

As a mental health professional, I've spent the last 10 years studying suicide in individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder and major depression, and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that diagnosing and medicating generally fails to prevent suicide because medication on its own does not work. A medicated individual with BPD or MD may find benefit from their medication (and this is an arguable point, as there is really very little conclusive evidence, and damning studies that suggest that being medicated can actually increase the rate of suicide), but these positive effects will invariably wear off with time and repeated use. When the medication stops 'working', you are left with a patient whose mood has begun to plummet being forced to run the gamut of uppers and downers just to avoid the nightmarish conditions induced by drug withdrawal, and this is to say nothing of psychiatry's recent investigations into the oppositional tolerance model, which, to put it simply, is the theory that the brain attempts to compensate for persistent use of antidepressants by becoming pro-depressant. The problem is that you can't medicate your way out of bipolar disorder or MD. It can conceivably help, given limited, short term use, but it needs to be supplemented by positive lifestyle change and social support mechanisms, and most people are not willing, if they are even financially able, to devote so much of their time and money to taking the steps needed. It is hard, hard work, and our society isn't prepared to convey that information to people yet. The mental health scourge is -already- an epidemic. We've just gotten so used to covering it up that nobody realises how pervasive it is.