Time for the weekly reality check for some below-par performers from the season opener.
Edrick Lee
Poor old Edrick. New club, point to prove and what does he dish up? More comical knock-ons and proof he hasn’t got over his demons from 2016.
Sure, the big fella almost has to lean down two metres to take a boot-lace pass, but the ones directed at his bread basket are also a 50-50 chance of being grassed. Seems if he was mentored by Virat Kohli in the off-season.
If Val Holmes returns, expect Edrick to be running out for the Sharks feeder team.
Robbie Farah
Sure, the game was as good as gone when Damien Cook entered the fray for Souths, but boy did they look a lot more of a handful without the discarded Tigers legend.
Souths’ big, lumbering pack need to be playing off the front foot, meaning the unpredictable, lightning surges from dummy half provided by Cook are more appealing than an individual who starves the halves and outsides of possession.
Maybe the next name can offer a solution to start both.
Luke Kelly
Same position, new club, same result. Adam Reynolds’ injury may be the only reason he gained a start, but Kelly is not up to steering an NRL side around the park from the vital No.7 position. Farah to No.7, Cook to No.9 would have worked better for the team.
Souths fans, are there any decent halves running around in the lower grades with more potential than the underwhelming former Eel?
Bryce Cartwright
Not saying he should be playing park footy, but after his display on Saturday, tackling with about as much sting in his effort as Martin Offiah, the Panthers brain trust had a call to make and they made the wrong one.
You’d suspect he would have been made aware he would be outed on Sunday, after stories emerged last week of a player having some of his off-field dramas taken care of by a club ‘fixer’. Ray was gobsmacked when it emerged one of of his all time favourites, Lew Zivanovic, played the Harvey Keitel Pulp Fiction role as Mr Wolf!
Hearing people complain with the usual line “if it were the average guy in the street, nobody would care” is a cop out.
Ray’s player of the round – Paul Vaughan
The ex-Raider and Gungahlin Bulls Junior led the Dragons pack with his aggressive charges and took it to the less experienced and much-hyped Panther pack from the opening whistle. Has a point to prove this year to the prickly fella from the nation’s capital who happily let him go.
Ray rates Vaughan higher than Shannon Boyd and Co. and thinks Sticky will regret letting go of the under-rated Italian international.
Who made your skin crawl last weekend?
uglykiwi
Roar Pro
Ron, I do love SKD. When he's on the pitch anything is possible........for both sides. I know, only one game in and I've made that call; maybe I've gone early.... But i'll call it how I see it. Moloney; he's good for one season only. He's had that at Cronulla, I'm calling an ordinary year this year for Moloney. Cronulla will struggle big time and won't make the 8. i think they will be smashed by the Raiders this weekend, maybe by 30 plus. Looking forward to tonights game, i want the Roosters to play 80 minutes, if they do, an easy 13plus win. Tupua Hat trick, him and Mitchell will run riot.
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
Ha. Well blow me down, if it's not Captain Feathersword's better half!! Most will say you're Swanners but I'm not falling for it, doesn't matter anyway, is Josh Josh or is he Brett.... Thanks for the intro, Ray. As the John Blackman of the duo will you remain behind the darkened sunnies or will you be tempted to pen solo? 14th - I'll take it.
steveng
Roar Rookie
HaHaaa 'Oingo Boingo', you aint no Bunnies supporter or player, our club has allot of spirit and Farah is not at the Tigers and under Taylor anymore. Big difference as the boys will work through their problems and never ever underestimate and/or knock the Bunnies down, as it will come back haunt and bite you. Go the Bunnies!!!
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Mate he has told me he was ducking down to put Powerball on and diverted to the local Boolaroo library and created his own account well in advance of his due date. He needs to focus on his TAFE Cert II Computer Course and complete my "Guide to writing modern articles" which was first published in 1984, along with the 7 hour exam! Mate I'd feel down throwing back a Kosciusko just quietly. You may need to down a few pints of Chimay Blue, Carleberg Elephant Beer and so on after Manly matches this season old mate. Wore a Donald Trump mask - security made light work of me. I swear she was not alone, felt like I was surrounded the amount of times I was whacked in the comic cuts!
Ray Barnacle
Roar Rookie
G'day Hosko, against Ron's best wishes I've jumped the gun early and joined up to the Roar. He keeps telling me my input is being sabotaged by the editor though I suspect he is running 2 version's of published articles, one being the faux article and the other all about the Swanson!! Keep throwing uppercuts at Ron until he wakes up to himself and realises he is not the next Chippy Frillingos (RIP to the great man and I hope you are having a fat old time with the Moose, Gibbo, Bec Wilson and Co. up in the Lords Garden of Eden Chipster). Sorry Hosko, off tangent there a little. Manly will run 14th so I am with ya mate.
Jason Hosken
Roar Guru
Good laughs Swanners. Reminds me of Karmichael 'bacon strips' Hunt - did you voice your order from behind a cardboard mask? Rough start at Blottoland, after calming down with a Kosciusko post match it was much easier to reconcile your prediction. May 2017! Is Ray away with the silver nomads?
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
The last decent Kelly to come out of Parra was Stu!!
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Jacko old son, I admire you giving it 110% on your thoughts. We write the article before teams are announced as we see it and without playing it safe. Ray and I are heartened Robbie still has his fans out there and respect your admiration of the NSW rake. Had you removed your blinkers however you would of noted we think the "balance" of the Rabbits would be better served if he wore the No.7 and Cook started in the 9. Thanks for your feedback Jacko but if you want "factual" articles I suggest you search for those submitted by Weidler, Massoud, Webster, Rothfield & Co.
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Alas Hosko the server was down at our HQ and I did muster a reply albeit 72 hours later. Second of all the editor is trimming the fat this year and a lot of Ray's best work has been left on the cutting room floor old mate. Ray might start his own weekly article as he is across all sports called the "Barnacle Files" starting in May 2017. As for breakfast old son it's down to the nearest cafe or diner with the request "Give me ALL of your bacon and eggs..I'm not sure if you understand that I want ALL of your bacon!!!" A lot of off-field drama's out at Lottoland Hosko led us to 15th. That and the absence of 800+ games losing Lyon, Matai & the Snake. I could not fathom those that said the squad was strengthened to be honest.
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Early 50's??? Wow, you are a inspiration to all the old dudes with your PC skills Sava. Roy Bull, now there's a great rhyming slang legend... up there with Orchestra Stalls', Les Kiss and Brad Pitt!
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Fair call guys but you'd suspect a more threatening No.7 would of found touch or led his side around in attack with more threat. The attitude was very poor and it's possible they went into the game a little over confident after their Charity Shield stroll.
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
What Leo wants, Leo Getz !!! The way Mr Wolf used quilts and bedding to upholster the car where Marvin's head ended up was Macgyver like pure genius !!!
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Great Supercoach stats but that's about it. I think he needs to stop reading the headlines personally and Ray also suspects he thinks he is a lot greater than he actually is on and off the field, but as I warned Ray, unless you have facts don't believe Telegate exclusives or that your hero Lew was involved unless you sight the $50k cheque he signed and match it to your Penrith Panthers 1979 autograph book old son.
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
How much better would the Dogs stop/start attack look now had Cook stayed??
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
UglyKiwi SKD will be part of this weekly rant more often than not. Big call better than Jimmy Maloney, last 3 clubs he's been at have all made it to the big dance.
Jacko
Guest
So you write an article about a bloke playing like a busted record and how he is going back to NSW cup and half those on here commenting think that is a good decision.....PITTY YOU ARE WRONG and FARAH is IN THE TEAM........Perhaps you should have googled the Souths team for round 2 before you went on your "CHOPPING BLOCK RANT". If you believe Souths lost because of Farah then you are just a Farah hater who wont even watch him play before writing articles badmouthing him. I watched his game and was impressed with his composure under pressure during what was a shocking match for souths. Perhaps if you watched the game you would have seen a winger drop the ball with the line wide open. you would have seen the amount of tackles that were missed and you would have noticed a big bloke who couldnt run, over on the wing. but that would require you to ACTUALLY watch the game tho wouldnt it. perhaps you could have saved the article, and the title in particular, for when he is actually dropped eh. It aint CHOPPING BLOCK but thats my rant
souvalis
Guest
Bryce has had better games,but so have their two most senior players Moylan and Wallace..it was an unacceptable team performance..this weeks response should be interesting.
kk
Roar Pro
Hi Con, Harvey Keitel's performance as Winston Wolf remains one of the very best examples of the importance of the casting director, similar to the position of a recruitment director at a Rugby League club. Smooth as a Sam Snead swing, Winston was a major connector. Memorable. Leo was hilarious and a meritorious effort from Joe Peski and though I rate him highly I prefer fixers to be serious. Souths need a Tarantino character ... urgently.
Con Scortis
Roar Guru
Mr Wolf is my second favourite fixer after Leo Getz.
Epiquin
Roar Guru
Tigers have been a bogey side for the Bunnies for a number of seasons now.