The Wrap: Gibson cracks a smile but no joy for other Aussie franchises

The benefit of Australian derbies was highlighted again this weekend. There was guaranteed joy for at least one team, in this case the Waratahs, while the other sides experienced more suffering against New Zealand and South African opposition.

With the best Australian team hosting the worst New Zealand team, in perfect conditions yesterday in Canberra, there was hope that the 0-14 trans-Tasman tally for 2017 would finally be halted. But once again there was no joy for local fans, the Brumbies falling 18-12, three tries to none.

The Blues dominated possession and territory to such an extent that it was incredible to think that the Brumbies went into attack in the final minute with a chance to win it. However Sam Carter, who along with Tom Banks, was the Brumbies best, couldn’t hold a bullet pass not intended for him, and the Blues had their win.

With Steve Hansen sleeping badly last night after hearing news of Keiran Read joining Jerome Kaino on the operating table, it was interesting to note the strong matches from both Steven Luatua and Akira Ioane.

Way back on Friday, the Stormers talked a good game in Dunedin. After being stung by their thrashing at the hands of the Crusaders last week, we were told to expect an up-tempo, committed redemption. What we got instead was the same number of points conceded (57), and ten less scored.

If I can borrow Spiro’s ‘fearless prediction’ for a moment, due to the structure of the competition, the Stormers will meet the Highlanders next in a home final. This will send New Zealand fans into a rage as to the unfairness of it all, but not embarrass SANZAAR, incapable as they are of being embarrassed any more than they are already.

For the Highlanders, Liam Squire celebrated news of Kaino’s knee injury by cutting his own hair, and then putting in another strong shift. While the All Blacks strongly enforce a ‘no dickheads’ policy, it seems that the ‘no bogans’ rule is a bit more relaxed.

All Blacks halfback Aaron Smith was on another level altogether, a TV replay from behind the posts showing his first-half pass crossing the face of three defenders, hitting Waisake Naholo in the hole between the third and fourth man, for a wonderful try. Off his left hand too, no less.

The Chiefs and Sunwolves both suffered in slippery conditions, the highlight being James Lowe sending Damian McKenzie away on the ‘plumbers run’ to the tryline; an S-bend dash where defenders were made to look like they were standing still.

The match ended in bizarre fashion with the Sunwolves losing two players in the 83rd minute, also losing some of their goodwill in the process, courtesy of a nasty shoulder by Jamie-Jerry Tuilagi on Shaun Stevenson. This gave the Chiefs the opportunity for one last play, against 13 men, for a bonus point try, but with 8 v 8 in the forwards and 7 v 5 in the backs, they somehow conspired to try to maul it over, and were held up.

If anyone tries to tell you that the old cliché ‘dumb forwards, clever backs’ no longer applies, don’t believe them – it does.

The derby in Brisbane started with a nice surprise, the Reds wearing the old Queensland maroon, to seemingly universal approval. Karmichael Hunt, who was again heavily involved, opened the scoring, aided by George Smith clearing a pathway ahead of him.

There were echoes of Leinster’s disallowed try in last weeks European Championship semi-final loss to Clermont, where referee Nigel Owens (correctly) ruled against an offensive hold off the ball. This time, referee Paul Williams not even bothering with a second look.

A similar thing happened in Bloemfontein, Crusaders defender Matt Todd, tackled without the ball, preventing him from snuffing out Raymond Rhule’s try. Time I think for the refereeing fraternity to reconsider what constitutes a legal cleanout or bind to a ruck as opposed to blatant, NFL-style obstruction, and then apply more consistency.

The quality of the contest was refreshingly high during the first half, although as things tensed up in the second, the skill level degenerated to something more akin to where Australian rugby currently sits. The two stand-out players were both wearing seven, Michael Hooper eventually shading George Smith on the scoreboard, which was cruel on Smith, whose performance for a rising 37 year old, was quite remarkable.

Not for the first time this year, the Reds suffered through lack of organisation. Quade Cooper showed glimpses of his class, but failing to stamp authority on the game through questionable option taking and pop-gun kicks.

In the end, the Waratahs scrapped harder than the Reds in the second half and deserved their 29-26 win, fans discovering that coach Daryl Gibson does in fact have a nice smile!

In Perth the Force’s energy and effort couldn’t be faulted, and an upset seemed possible for much of the game. But despite their endeavor the Force lacked the accuracy and composure in the ‘red-zone’ to sustain pressure and score enough points. Lions 24, Force 15.

For a long time in Bloemfontein the Cheetahs gave as good as they got against the Crusaders, Rhule’s try (despite Todd being taken out) as good as any long-range counter-attacking effort seen this year. The delightfully named Cheetahs prop Ox Nche was a dominant figure, running in one try under the posts then busting Keiran Read and Joe Moody in another run, from which referee Federico Anselmi uncharitably ruled out a try for what looked like a fair offload.

It was this play that saw Read stay down before being replaced, clutching a broken thumb. It will be a race against time for him to return in time for the first Test against the Lions.

The less said about the Rebels against the Kings the better. No matter how much the Kings have improved, and how high their confidence levels are right now, they were handed a gift when captain Nick Stirzacker was ruled out before the match, and replacement halfback Mick Snowden, went down with an ankle injury in the first half.

After some initial confusion, it was left to Colby Fainga’a to do most of the halfback work which, to be charitable, he was ill-equipped for; any chance for attacking momentum for the Rebels going out the window.

Halfback or no halfback there was a sense that the Rebels didn’t have enough in their kit bag anyway, the Kings moving in for numerous second half kills as the Rebel’s spirit leached away.

Back at home, the Jaguares’ finals aspirations took a severe dent, losing to the one team they couldn’t afford to lose to, the Sharks, by 33-25. There is now an 8-point difference between them in their Africa 2 conference, where they are realistically competing for the one play-off position.

Finally, in the news this week was Italian model and reality star Elisa De Panicis Agnelli, romantically linked to Ronaldo, who claimed that the Real Madrid football superstar pads his underwear for modelling shoots

“Ronaldo uses filling to make his penis look bigger,” De Panicis said during a recent appearance on Chilean TV show Doble Tentacion.

Just goes to show that money can’t buy you everything. The line between what is truth and what is reality is so blurred these days it’s impossible to know what to believe.

Next, someone will be telling us that Rolf Harris’ extra leg was to help him walk faster. Or that the ARU knows exactly what it’s doing.