The NRL would like to take this opportunity to respond to the infinite number of drug matters of the past 48 hours, those both reported and yet to be discovered.
The league acknowledges the seriousness of the allegations and greatly regrets the huge amount of publicity they have delivered to an otherwise inconsequential Representative Round.
Following the information received, the NRL has acted swiftly by commissioning a search to find anyone in rugby league who hasn’t abused drugs this weekend.
An additional investigation will also be staged in to what happened to the good old days of just having 15 beers and filling your mate’s shoe.
All players involved will also be examined for salary cap breaches on suspicion, as nobody except television executives can afford cocaine at Australian prices.
The league would also like to reiterate everyone that, despite a number of strong reports circling in the media, the ‘N’ in NRL does not stand for narcotics.
This can be confirmed after urgent studies on the acronym proved it does not translate to anything in Peruvian. Also, the competition logo could not be fairly misconstrued for headphones.
The NRL would like to take this opportunity to restate the serious position it takes on illicit substances. Seriously, we really believe we’ve got it under control.
The league will always hold a strong stance on many social issues- racism, sexism, basically anything that doesn’t negatively portray sports gambling- and doing blow is no different.
The NRL has taken steps over many years to highlight the risks associated with the use of illicit drugs, mostly through education workshops like Mad Monday and Origin bonding.
In addition, the league is proud of its decisive detection program and its distinguished record of high confusion in both process and outcomes.
The league believes conducting testing exclusively before and after games- because players prefer to get off their tits at kickoff or while on the paddock- doesn’t encourage a culture of using footy-free weekends to furnish your bugle.
The NRL is also proud of the education provided to players regarding the dangers of drug use.
However, the league acknowledges the need to review its current employment pathways program, as it seems everyone is too keen on a career in stockbroking and advertising.
While respecting the accused persons right to a fair trial, the league will continue to make enquiries in to what the f*ck they were thinking.
I mean, c’mon.. some were in Canberra. Just legally buy weed and some bungers, right?
The NRL will also continue enquiries with all relevant parties, mainly because these parties sound off the hizzay.
* – Message made with the approval of the NRL: The Nasal Rugby League
doogs
Guest
i want to be one of the Johns brothers
Not surprised
Guest
There aren't many keeping their noses clean. The players socialise together, drink together, snort together. When Mitchell got humpy with the dog there was the text about doing liney lines with the Roosters players and the NRL did nothing. It wasn't just the John's boys doing at Newcastle, and Harmeichal learnt from Lockyer. Willie liked a line. Let them do it, sack them if their performance drops or they do something anti social.
Sports fan
Guest
I look forward to see what nrl fox "ringmaster" matty johns has to say about the coke use in the nrl.has got the biggest ego in the game
matth
Guest
This is what happens when you increase the salary cap to give players salaries in line with the AFL.
Peter
Guest
You don't do sarky, do you?
Lidcombe Oval
Guest
really http://www.news.com.au/sport/afl/football-star-ruined-by-west-coast-eagles-volcanic-drugs-culture/news-story/2ba4dad9fcadb78d1a7ee52dbf1600d8
Lidcombe Oval
Guest
Your so called mates have very short memories then http://www.news.com.au/sport/afl/football-star-ruined-by-west-coast-eagles-volcanic-drugs-culture/news-story/2ba4dad9fcadb78d1a7ee52dbf1600d8
BlueBags
Guest
The Bulldogs AFL banner was wrong, there is plenty to do in Canberra on a Friday Night! Get drunk and forget you bought Drugs....
northerner
Guest
ASADA is only responsible for testing for WADA-prohibited substance. The drug in question is only prohibited if consumed during competition - otherwise it's not a WADA/ASADA concern. That doesn't mean the employer shouldn't do its own drug testing, though.
no one in particular
Roar Guru
I didn't know consensual sex was illegal
Farqueue
Guest
True...No history of drug use in AFL.
Jock Cornet
Guest
The johns brothers what a pair of hypocrites with their snorting , prostitutes and gang bangs
Your kidding
Guest
Maybe the rumours of the NRL "sniffing" around a new sponsorship deal with "coke" are true. Snort!
greg
Guest
no more rep rounds. no chance off a weekend off, to go on a bender.
Brian S
Guest
This does make Rugby League look unprofessional, & having played & being bought up on Aussie Rules this will give a lot of mates ammunition to tell me how i mad a bad decision to become a code hopper:(
Lidcombe Oval
Guest
make gatherings of more than 1 person illegal and that would fix the drug problem for sure
Kris Swales
Expert
It's clear to me now that the only way to win the war on drugs is to make rugby league illegal.
Lidcombe Oval
Guest
Extend the task force to crack down on this behaviour by non sport people too then - those that frequent night clubs/festivals/schoolies etc - employers/schools/uni's etc should be allowed to test their employers/students etc 24/7
Bloody R Bull
Roar Rookie
Looks like by they way this weekend has gone, that the boys get away from home, all get on the drugs and then play their hearts out. Return home having won and clean. So they say !!
Sport lover
Guest
What a meathead comment lol