New South Wales' ultimate casino-based dream team

In a certified Origin miracle, the Blues have now spent five days inside Star City casino without losing James Maloney in a game of craps.

For those unaware, Laurie Daley is basing his team’s preparations for game two at this renowned temple of omni-seduction, and of greater concern, he is doing so wilfully.

Whether he feels a 1-0 lead is too good to be true or he’s simply attempting to poach Corey Norman, surely there is an OH+S law somewhere that this decision breaches.

There’s no doubt incident-free preparations have never been New South Wales’ strength, with our Queensland counterparts forever holding the edge thanks to their state full of corrupt cops.

But basing 20 footballers in a casino for ten days proves Daley’s squad for Game 2 is not unchanged, he’s granted a recall to unmitigated chaos.

As we all know, sticking your head inside a casino is like a challenge on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. There are reptiles and stomach lining all up in your face. It’s a footballers dream.

That’s why it’s the last place the Blues should be before a vital showdown, or before anything, for that matter.

If 600 kilometres north in the forest isn’t good enough for Daley anymore, he needs somewhere local that is bereft of liveliness, somewhere like the Blue Mountains or Long Bay.

Until these common sense locations are called upon, it’s only a matter of time before we hear reports of a Blues bunga bunga bonding session where Matt Moylan tries to feed himself through a pokie after too many ‘muscle relaxants.’

Nevertheless, in the interim, we must embrace this commercially-obligated disaster-in-waiting.

So put down your carafe of Midori Illusion and hold off from punching that bouncer- just for a wee moment- because it’s time to borrow a few hundreds for roulette from the Blues Extreme Casino 17.

1. Brett Stewart
All Origin campaigns are about making a flying start, and what better way than by incomprehensibly abusing sponsors after a skin-full at the opening function?

2. Dylan Walker
When the team arrives back to their rooms at 6.45 am and training’s at 7, they’ll probably need a Diazepam.

3. Mark Gasnier
The godfather of camp-based controversy in the professional era and the man who fired up the concept of vile casino hijinks. That’s why Queenslanders refer to Arthur Beetson as ‘The Mark Gasnier of Origin’.

4. Josh Dugan
Anyone as regularly injured as Dugan is sure to be in possession of a commercial quantity of prescription painkillers.

(AAP Image/Dan Himbrechts)

5. Blake Ferguson
One of the first picked as the mooted and munted face of new sports drink “Bacardi-ade”.

6. Todd Carney
Carney is innovative and brave. He puts his head where others won’t, for example, in line of his own arc.

7. Andrew Johns
Kept his opponents awake all night, which was fitting because he was too. Even though he’s the captain/coach, think twice about letting him brew you a coffee.

8. Paul Gallen
He drinks, fights and bench-presses at a disturbing clip. Worst of all, he lives in Sutherland by choice. Not even bikies are consorting.

9. Craig Gower
An underrated unit for bedlam, look to Gower to revive a dangerous combination with Mitchell Pearce, hopefully this time with less glass and nudity.

10. Willie Mason
Retired from his career nearly 12 months ago and is still assisting police with their enquiries.

11. Greg Bird
Future president of Le Catalans, Gold Coast and Silverwater.

(AAP Image/Dave Hunt)

12. Mark Geyer
He literally blazed a trail for the loose skunks of the modern day with a legendary decoupage of disobedience in the 90s. Unknown quantity as a gambler, why not ask him personally if you’re looking to be thumped?

13. Brad Fittler
Once mistakenly entered an old lady’s hotel room after a couple of snifters. Was punished with a simple slap on the wrist from the coach, because he was the coach.

14. Bryan Fletcher
Anyone who voluntarily leaves Easts for Souths has a serious gambling issue.

15. Andrew Fifita
Will always meet curfew by ensuring he’s ejected from the venue nice and early.

16. Anthony Watmough
With VB deciding not to renew it’s commercial partnership with the Blues, the team needs someone who’s happy to punch a sponsor.

17. Brett Finch
A player of great versatility, Finch can gamble his rent away on just about anything.