The world of rugby league is in shock after reports confirmed Jarryd Hayne is set to take an unprecedented role at the Gold Coast Titans.
Soon after the news broke that Neil Henry had been sacked by the club, Twitter was awash with rumours over who his replacement would be.
While names like Kevin Walters and Brian Smith were thrown around, it was revealed by Titans CEO Graham Annesley that Jarryd Hayne would be stepping up into the role as ‘captain-coach’.
“The board came to the conclusion that Jarryd would be the best way forward for the club after he threatened to leave if we didn’t give him what he wanted,” Annesley said.
“He’s always got the best interests of the club at heart.”
Hayne, for his part, is thrilled for this new chapter of his career.
“It’s been my lifelong dream to be captain-coach of an embattled NRL expansion team ever since I was a little kid,” Hayne told the media.
“It’s not about the money or the status or the accolades, what it’s really about is the thing that’s most precious to me – building my brand.
“I really think this will open up a whole new range of merchandising options, and isn’t that really what sport’s all about?”
According to the players, the first training session went off smoothly, having been put through their paces with a number of new drills to help them adapt to Hayne’s style of play.
These include: throwing ill-timed and wildly unrealistic passes, running sideways for as long as possible and mandatory ‘Hayne Plane’ celebrations for all tries.
Editor’s note: Yes, in case you didn’t realise, this is a satire piece and is not meant to be taken seriously.
jonnyacidseed
Roar Rookie
Love your work Riordan - especially the early stuff!
jonnyacidseed
Roar Rookie
Er, yeah Ben. Read the disclaimer at the bottom dude!
Mad Magpie Rob
Guest
At least now Wests Tigers are no longer the club with the worst administration. Doggies were on top with the whole salary cap thing, but Titans have just blown them away.
matth
Guest
Won't someone please Remember the Titans?
Milli vanilli don't blame it on the hayne
Guest
Hayne is a super star if you know your league and look at your stats then you would never bag the bloke ,they only talk bout the good ones super star all the way as milli vanilli said (don't blame it on the hayne)
Andy James
Guest
Absolutely disgusted - I could understand if someone like Jonathan Thurston- who is the best. Good luck titans because u r going to need it.
IKnowEverything
Guest
Hmmmmm - April Fools Day in August!
Rellum
Roar Guru
If he buys into it. sure. Not sure he is really that into league to buy into any game plan.
Nat
Roar Guru
I think that would have to be a prerequisite for the next coach. Who would take the job knowing there is a 2nd rate player they cannot touch. Otherwise I like what the Walker Bros could bring. Do you think Hayne could fit into their game plan? Maybe if he was 5kg lighter.
Roger F
Guest
You got to be ? joking
Birdy
Guest
Plus all in-flight movies are prescreened at the local high school.
Barry
Guest
Can you imagine the post game interviews lol ( they did'nt do what i said lol).
Rick
Guest
And they laughed and they laughed!
Chinmay Hejmadi
Roar Guru
I actually bought it till the first quote.
Saul Wrightman
Guest
Would not be that surprised. Queens' land is afterall the state that elects the likes of Clive Palmer and Pauline Palmer and who can forget Sir Joh?
Scott
Guest
His form this year is simply a ploy so he can buy them from the NRL, then he will be a director as well
BigJ
Roar Guru
Dont joke mate its good way to pick up your agility skills, ha ha
Barry
Guest
Notice their NEW captain with an ankle injury did NOT travel with his TEAM last game - best reason ever for a Perth team.
Barry
Guest
Way to go
sheek
Roar Guru
Hilarious. But GC might be stupid enough to do it.....