The Wallabies are back in action on Saturday, taking on South Africa in Perth, and I’m worried that the Springboks will bully us off the park. But then I’ve been worrying about the Springboks ever since I first saw them play, back in 1971 at the SCG.
I was 11 years old and they frightened the hell out of me. As somebody sitting next to me said when the Boks ran out onto the field, “Jeez, ain’t they big.”
A quick peek at the stats of some of their great names reveals the Boks have always been big – tighthead CJ Van der Linde and loosehead Os du Randt were both 6′ 3″ and 135 kg. Back rowers Duane Vermeulen and Willem Alberts were 6,4″ and 120 kg.
Andre Venter, another flanker, was even bigger – 6′ 5″ and 131 kg!
When you’re that size you’re supposed to be considered a lock, but the Boks didn’t want any shrimps in the second row, which is why Bakkies Botha held down the job for 85 Tests. The first time I saw Bakkies, I figured Dr Frankenstein had called up the SARU and told them their rugby player was ready.
As for Bakkies’ partner, Victor Matfield, he owned the air rights of most lineouts. If somebody had the temerity to take the ball away from Victor, then Bakkies – sworn nemesis of evil doers – would mete out fast and suitable punishment.
Back to Perth and why I’m scared.
The Boks’ front row is more than a little formidable. Tighthead Coenie Oosthuizen has remarkable pace for a monster. He’s currently nursing a sore rib but is expected to start.
Hooker Malcolm Marx, unstoppable from five metres out, was man of the match in one of the recent Tests against the French. And loosehead Beast Mtawarira, 94 caps, doesn’t just run the ball, he hurls himself at defenders. When he goes off in the second half, scrum opponents don’t get much relief because Steven Kitshoff comes on and bends arms.
[latest_videos_strip category=”rugby” name=”Rugby”]
In the engine room, the Boks have Eben Etzebeth and Franco Mostert, the latter who gives way to Pieter-Steph du Toit, who’ll continue the torture.
The Wallabies have a very good second row but Etzebeth is one of the best in the world (I sometimes scan the Hollywood trades to see if Eben is going to be the new Wolverine or the new leader of the Avengers but, so far, no news).
So that’s the Boks’ front five and I cannot see our front five getting much change out of them.
Prospects further darken when we compare back rows. Australia’s consists of a hard-working captain, an undersized No.8 with a lot of heart, and a non-carrying 6 who frowns a lot.
The tourists’ back row, on the other hand, is pretty damn good. Siya Kolisi, at 6, keeps scoring tries and crunching people, Jaco Kriel at 7 runs like a centre and hits like a howitzer, and eightman Uzair Cassiem, with his speed and chase-down ability, gives a good imitation of Kieran Read.
But are our backs good enough to overcome the disparity up front?
Alas, no.
Personally, I’ll be watching the game at home and cheering for the Wallabies. As for my phobia, my brother-in-law says I’m crazy to sit in front of a TV screen wearing a cycling helmet.
Maybe so, but when South Africa are playing, it makes me feel safer.
Schalk
Guest
What an excellent; tongue in cheek piece of journalism. Well done Rookie. I haven't enjoyed a rugby article this much in years; nor had such a belly deep chuckle as well. Being South African and an ex so-so player; it's funny to see another perspective... If only you knew that our aura; which suffered near terminal damage in 2016; was born of a desperation seated in the "us-verses the world" mentality of yester-year that produced these players from a now historical lifestyle. Twenty-three years into emancipation and the dawn of our now tattered democracy; the new system still produce the physical specimen's.....but without the Mongrel in us that has been tamed and replaced by a mixed bouillabaisse through factors like political meddling and quotas; divided interest groups and economic pressure on a now professional game and that dished up the identity-less 2016 fiasco. The new crop of Boks in reality envy Wallaby rugby ( though we'll never admit it!) for being more cerebral and playing clever rugby and we are doing our damnedest to catch up with you and your trans-Tasman brothers; the AB's. We did some deep soul searching with an old African tradition; an "Indaba"; where all the participants caught a wake-up and realized we no longer lead; we've become second rate and its time to start applying the lessons this transition is teaching us. If .the new Boks win on Saturday....they will only be out of diapers and starting to compete and innovate properly like we use to. Adding "nous" to brawn has always been a big call.... Just shows you...all of life through a looking glass but it depends whose glass you use...doesn't it...?
Taylorman
Guest
Ha ha yes one of the great sides and one reason we were really cr',aping in 77. Lions beat NZ and SA in 71 and 74 and we lost to SA in 70 and 76 so we really thought 77 was going to be horrid. But it seems the 74 side all but disappeared...retirees etc Mighty mouse, JPR, McBride etc, the only remnants of the great sides Mike Gibson on his fifth Lions tour and Bennett. Gordon Brown and Bill Beaumont were starting to impose as a strong locking pair and Fran Cotton and Graham Price formidable up front. But it was left to a few newbies to carry the can ...Irvine had a wonderful tour, gained a lot of kiwi fans, especially us kids at the time. Oddly it was our oldies that stole the day early with tries to Batty, Kirky, Going etc. through the series. The third test saw the dropping of the old guard and it seemed by the fourth test both the Lions and NZ were looking to their youth again. One player I remember well from the Boks matches was the huge hitting of Joggie Jansen, spot tackler extraordinaire, Bosch and a very awkward kicking style we used to mimick. Hed stand almost with his back to the posts and would only take a couple of steps and stab through the ball on a sharp angle. Good memories.
Harry Jones
Expert
Flo is still our best But I support this initiative (during June and RC) of local players On EOYT, I'd stock it w UK/FR/Ire Boks
DavSA
Guest
Thats amazing DaveB . Do you recall 1. JPR Williams just seemed unstoppable and 2. How eerily quite the supporters wer leaving the stadium afterwards . Spoke in whispers.
DavSA
Guest
late reply , sorry RT , ..........Yes I am well aware of Kevin Skinner .I went to a Currie Cup game at Ellis Park in the 70's and who sat down few rows in front of us was the one and only . Obviously came over for a visit . (No box seats in those days) . My old man still remarked , 'Heavens thats the All Black Skinner ' My recollection was his gnarled cauliflower ears and he looked tough . Doc Craven famously once said Skinner was not welcome in SA . Clearly that sentiment was not shared by all. Anyway without going into names , South Africa had more than its fair share of Skinners in its ranks. Will mention a name though .....One eyed Martin Pelser.
DaveB
Guest
What a coincidence... Similar 'handles' and we were both at the same 1st Test experience. I was 10 years old at the time... Wow that Lions side was good
cuw
Guest
LOL irish scales :) more like112 kg Flow was even better :)
Baylion
Roar Rookie
Story is that AC wanted Combrinck and Mapoe to stay on standby in SA and not go and play in Japan. They didn't agree, both for contractual and financial reasons
Harry Jones
Expert
Jeez, he was good last weekend. No, I think he could come back for 2019...
PiratesRugby
Guest
Isn't Moore sitting this game out? Anyway, he's not in great form at the moment and TPN is the better option. I don't mind Cheika playing AAA to give him experience but Kepu is the safer option. Arnold and Coleman need as much time together as possible. 6 and 8 are big problems for us. If Cheika persists with Hanigan then we're farked. Timani is a good option at 8, if fit. I haven't seen much of the Bokke this year but they appear to have made short work of th Pumas. I hoped they've turned the corner after their recent upheavals. World rugby is better when the Bokke are in top form. RWC19 will be great with NZ, poms and Bokke all firing.
Machooka
Roar Guru
So a Japanese lunch is OK... with, of course, some fine wines from Maggie's? ;)
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
Haha! ... NV I've been to Japan between 30-40 times .. love the country, love the people and absolutely love the food! Every 3 months I travelled to Japan from 1982 to 1993 arriving Narita, staying in Toyko, then on the Shinkansen to Osaka and Kobe before flying out onto South Korea from Osaka. No stay in the country was for longer than 3 days but always enjoyed the delights the country offered. As for Kobe beef, had my share of that but the sushimi, yakitori and tempura was what I really enjoyed .. Yumm Yes, I am familiar with Moss Wood Vineyard, but cannot sorry I do not recall their Cab Sauv. in particular or in isolation. I had a few bottles of their Semillion a few years back (no longer :) ) We stayed in a Margaret River Vineyard Villa for a few nights with my son and daughter in law back in 2008 and visited many, any wineries in the region (as you do!). What I do remember is that I have 7 cartons of wine (84 bottles) from various vineyards shipped back over to Queensland from that one trip. For Reds, WA is well known for its Cabernet Sauvignon as is the Barossa Valley is well known for their Shiraz's. Don't mind a drop of red :) (or white for that matter) ... that is why we had to visit Stellenbosch vineyards while in SA last year...
DavSA
Guest
I also rated Ian Robertson .
DavSA
Guest
French series , 28 tackles made , none missed . 100% record.
Kabous
Roar Rookie
Likeabute would have been a good coach, he is really talking up the opposition albeit humorously. As far back as I can remember WB always had a way to counter Boks strong points. Boks had a good shove? - Aussies got the ball lightning fast from the scrum. Good lineouts? - WB moved jumpers around when their hooker throws the ball. They have always been clever about it. I dont think the WB coaching staff has the intellectual capital of a decade ago but they are not stupid either. They will find a way to be very competitive as the AB's found out. Boks are now mobile but that has always been in WB dna. This 2017 Boks does not have the same metal as back in 2013 to win in Aus. If only our back three wasnt so flaky.
DavSA
Guest
Yes MZ you have certainly evoked memories for me . I also remember the old Ellis Park and the Naartjie fights . the sky turned literally orange with as the Aussies will call them ....tangerines . ..Was at the official opening of the New Ellis Park and have somewhere in my pub a can of Ellis Park Lager as a momento. and Funbus if I have to rate a player as the best I have ever seen then JPR Williams is one of my candidates ... By the way Moaner Van Heerden is on that list too.
FunBus
Roar Rookie
Ah, the 1974 Lions. The most famous Lions team in the UK and Ireland - much more so than the 1971 team. Their record was amazing. Winning every game (about 24 of them I think) and then drawing the last test after the ref ruled out a clear try at the end. Many famous stories. My favourite is this one. The Lions have just won the third test to take an unassailable 3-0 lead. Back at the hotel, they drink it dry, then drink the local bar dry. Back at the hotel things start to get rowdy. Finally, at 3.00am the hotel owner has had enough (extraordinary scenes in the swimming pool apparently). He marches up to Willie John McBride's room (the captain) and bangs on the door. Willie opens the door stark naked puffing on his pipe. The emotional owner says he's had enough and he's calling the police. Willie puffs on his pipe and ponders this. Finally he looks down at the owner and asks, 'will there be many of them?'
Colm
Roar Guru
You could add Jean Deysel to that list, Armand. The Ulster website has him listed at 118 kg and Marcell Coetzee at 122kg.
Colm
Roar Guru
Do you think the ship has sailed when it comes to Marcell Coetzee and the springbok, Harry? I can't think of a more impactful player to come off the bench. He has bulked up a lot in Ireland and is listed at 122kg on the Ulster website.
Ex force fan
Guest
For those that still wants to buy tickets there are cheap tickets available on gumtree. Doesn't look like many want to go anymore. Don't give the ARU any more money. Rain is forecasted so make sure you sit high above N on the Eastern stand.