The adage that a draw is like ‘kissing your sister’ is attributed to US Navy football coach Eddie Erdelatz.
Erdelatz was reacting to a scoreless gridiron tie between Navy and Duke in 1953, although the idiom had been widely in use to describe any joyless or lukewarm or mediocre experience, such as decaf coffee or a weak cocktail.
Nobody asked Erdelatz to explain himself: how many sisters did he have and were they all equally unpleasant to kiss, and what type of kiss was he describing, for goodness sake?
A codicil to the ‘kissing sister’ term is baseball player George Brett’s pointing out that losing is like “kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.”
When the British and Irish Lions famously drew with the All Blacks earlier this year, Lions captain Sam Warburton was asked a question about kissing his sister. Steve Hansen spontaneously used the phrase to describe his feelings.
What is all this talk about sister-kissing?
I never spent much time kissing any of my sisters. Any kisses were around big departures or life passages or moments of grief, and always on the cheek. I don’t remember any sort of emotion about those kisses even vaguely resembling the feeling of a draw in a rugby match.
It’s tough to draw in rugby. I only remember one in the 200 or so matches I played. It was 13-13 with a muddy conversion tying it up at the death.
Unlike in football or cricket, where draws are as common as a Michael Cheika tantrum, rugby usually has a winner after 80 minutes.
For instance, in the 84 matches between Australia and South Africa, only two have been drawn. Only seven of 160 Bledisloe matches have been drawn.
Peculiarly, the French-Bok rivalry is draw-heavy (six of 42 matches have ended in a tied score).
Allister Coetzee appeared to be the happier coach after the Perth draw, even though his young Boks were the team with two chances to win at the end. Perhaps it was because any points from an away fixture between Australia and South Africa are extremely rare, or because the team down 10-20 that forces a draw feels like more was achieved than the team which lost the lead at home.
(AP Photo/Themba Hadebe)
Cheika chalked his team’s losing the big lead to ‘immaturity.’ I believe the psychologists call that sort of thing ‘projection.’
Coetzee did say that a Springbok team is never happy with a draw, but I found myself not believing him.
Neither coach spoke of any sort of pleasureless kissing.
But if draws really do cause mature (or immature) men to think incestuous thoughts (albeit critical of such smooching), why not follow the NFL’s example and force an outcome?
Extra time (ten minutes each way) followed by a ten-minute sudden death period is usually going to provide a winner. A kickoff seems bizarre, but fair enough, since it’s a football game.
Who can forget poor Martyn Williams of Cardiff, shanking his kick to give Leicester the Heineken Cup semifinal victory in 2009?
I for one would love to see Rob Simmons or Eben Etzebeth kicking off the tee.
Who would you think is the worst kicker in the Wallabies squad? I am pretty sure the worst Bok kicker would be Steven Kitshoff. I just cannot even imagine his pre-kick routine.
Let’s put an end to sisters being kissed and criticised for kissing. Rugby demands a winner in every game.
Harry Jones
Expert
Thank you for elevating the discourse to a lofty civility.
Leonard
Guest
A tie is possible in an NFL regular season match (to use their language for their game), but it is only after efforts to get a winning score in overtime. I could look up the details, but I reckon my brain might hurt - bit like bothering to read soccer's offside rules.) One interesting lingo tid-bit: in our rugbies the ball has to be physically 'touched down', but it's called a 'try'; in their NFL, the ball does NOT have to be 'touched down', but it is actually called a 'touchdown'. Still, nothing beats our really weird cricket lingo!
ozinsa
Guest
I was sitting next to two Americans whilst watching the match on replay in a bar in NY. The woman was having a lot of the rules explained during the game (although she had an autograph and a photo of Eben Etzebeth from a recent holiday in Cape Town). She asked "What was that? Where is the OT?" at the whistle. I explained that a draw is a legitimate result and the two team earned it. We debated the need of Americans for gratification by always having a result and we of any sort of Anglo descent's willingness to acknowledge the reality of a draw/tie as a result. I remain convinced I was right. And I have no sisters to convince me otherwise.
DavSA
Guest
I actually saw it happen . Once ... Saw countless failed attempts though.
piru
Roar Rookie
I'd go watch this as a standalone event
piru
Roar Rookie
Norm Hewett won dancing with the stars in NZ I believe All Blacks could keep him or Josh Kronfeld on standby just in case
Leonard
Guest
Nonsense, for most sports contests in most contexts. In sport as in life, sometimes the balance of factors in a contest are so finely balanced that neither side can get ahead, and a draw is a valid and reasonable result. Test cricket, that most complex of all games, even distinguishes between a 'draw' and a 'tie', and good on it. If 'finely balanced that neither side can get ahead' is too much for life-forms of very small brain, then let them become stars on 'Ridiculousness' or 'The Science of Stupid'. A win / ,loss result makes sense in programmed finals or playoffs, such as in the AFL and NRL finals series - but that's due to non-game matters such as venue and accommodation bookings, and broadcasting imperatives.
Wobblies
Guest
there must be a fair amount of incest in that lions side.... they sure did enjoy the draw
Peter
Guest
We had trouble naming the cat, so we just called him Edie Puss...
Calf Muscle
Guest
A king of Thebes, the son of Laius and Jocasta, and the father by Jocasta of Eteocles, Polynices, Antigone, and Ismeme: Oedipus liked his mum and sister.
Machpants
Roar Guru
I have no problem with a draw, in and of itself, unless the draw is some sort of decider. So series where there could be a winner, like the lions recently, need to keep going or have a deeper winner assessment (most tries, best aggregate, whatever). But a normal match, I don't mind. Cheika chalked his team’s losing the big lead to ‘immaturity.’ I believe the psychologists call that sort of thing ‘projection.’ Funniest and truest thing ever written on the roar
Galatzo
Guest
Harry, I think you're on to something re sibling snogging. How about this to decide a draw - each coach produces a sister which the opposing coach must kiss. When one thing leads to another, the couples goes off for a climaxometer protocol. Highest score wins.
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
Step-sisters...
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
That is truly sick. Disgusting. Yuk!
Harry Jones
Expert
Brilliant!!!
Harry Jones
Expert
Loved watching those "lifted locks" trying to block kicks in the 90s
Harry Jones
Expert
Loooooooong after. 13 years and 2 months.
Samuel Honywill
Roar Pro
I feel a draw is a perfectly valid result - if the teams are so evenly matched that they can't be split then leave it so, or if neither side can find a way to force a win then why give them a chance they don't deserve? At a time when so much rugby is being crammed into the calendar extending games is a bad idea for player welfare reasons IMO. I don't buy the argument that doing away with them would make life better and simpler for crowds that I've seen doing rounds either - if a person can't get their head around neither side winning a game then maybe they're just a bit thick? The fact that they ARE so rare in rugby is yet another reason not to get rid of them either - they're inevitably a talking point when they happen and in a game where they're so statistically unlikely I don't see any reason to actively legislate against them happening anyway. Save extra time and penalties (talking of which, despite being English part of me always wishes the 2003 WC final went to penalty kicks so we could have seen the grand sight of Jason Leonard lining up a drop kick at goal) for knock-out games where a result is genuinely needed on the day.
OJP
Guest
Matt Dunning = ahead of his time
ethan
Guest
Maul races! Now that would be something! They need to make this a thing. Half time entertainment perhaps.