The global upheaval of recent times has produced countless debates on the complexities of human behaviour, namely how one should act after being drubbed by the Titans.
Should losing players appear disappointed come the final whistle, or can they treat it as a regular social setting like a nightclub, or in the Bulldogs case, naked karaoke?
Do we afford footballers the liberties of humans, or should losers be prohibited from laughing unless the laughing is about their own woeful performance, and according to atDragonsMick85374 on Twitter, the “wage these thieves are stealin as professional footballers?”
As one of the world’s most burning current issues, the topic of laughing losers in rugby league will not go away while ever we see the continuing decline of major brands like society and the Brisbane Broncos.
As we all know, emotions can run high after defeat, both on the field and off. This can lead to distorted judgment, causing fans to make rash appraisals and players to botch their convoluted handshakes. Time this x1000 if you’re a Queenslander, and another x1000 if you’re a Broncos fan.
Ryan Papenhuyzen of the Storm looks dejected (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)
With Brisbane in crisis, players have been accused of accepting defeat with apathy, crocodile tears and gleeful breakdancing, while the seasonal emotions of Brodie Croft have some demanding he shouldn’t be allowed to cry, smile, or play for the Broncos.
So how should losers conduct themselves at full time?
Just like the good old days, or however Twitter dictates, of course.
According to science, players cared more in the 80s. That’s because with only a handful of games broadcast each week, nobody could severely overanalyse body language or take unfairly-timed screen shots like the one that incriminated Arthur Summons for cuddling Norm Provan after a loss.
Like Gorden Tallis and Chris Close said, things would be better if things were like back in their day, when everyone would get so fired up they wanted to knock each other out- and that was just after the wins. And who of us are game to disagree with them?
It’s the reason Andrew Johns is considered the greatest of all time – not for the magical way he could control games or fall asleep at airports, but because he once pegged his mouth guard in disgust after a loss.
But of course, violent outbursts are not fit for all scenarios. For contentious cases of losing, simply apply this simple algorithm created from the online opinions of approximately one million complete and utter fruit bats.
Upon losing, players need to be robots and characters but also remember the reason they play the game while also doing what the bloke said on The Big Sports Breakfast, and then react to defeat on the field and not Instagram, but also on Instagram if you need a sponsored post because times are tough and footballers are human too.
Additionally, players should be upset proportional to their pay packet, meaning David Fifita may be in the uncomfortable position next year of dying from shame on a weekly basis.
Players need to be real, but also live on the edge of fear that they shed tears as soon as they hear the whistle, even at training or the train station. But the tears have to be real, they can’t be mimicked. This is a man’s game, we only accept faking for crowd noise and obstruction plays.
In summary, the conduct of footballers is to be determined by anyone but them. To make things easier, here’s a simplified guide outlining what you’re not allowed to do: shake hands (covid), not shake hands (Jack Hetherington), smile, laugh and/or cry.
Basically, just be Wayne Bennett.
mushi
Roar Guru
I thought it was because his jokes weren't that good, seemed to be the criteria from management
Succhi
Roar Rookie
I think if you have been absolutely flogged then get off the field with your head hung low.
E-Meter
Roar Rookie
Ha ha good call.
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
Don't recall Luke Patton making that statement. Must have missed it.
E-Meter
Roar Rookie
You don't win wars by dying for your country. You win wars by making some other b'stard die for his country - General Patton.
Rebellion
Guest
You can smile on the losing team if you absolutely played the house down. When you’re banking over half a million dollars a year and you represent the hopes of a not insignificant portion of rabid fans with fairly mundane lives - anything else is unacceptable. Hooliganism in European football taught us this in a very extreme fashion.
Olaf
Guest
love your sense of humour paul
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
Pick the odd one out. Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Donald Duck, Josh McGuire. Answer: Donald Duck who is a cartoon character. The others are well known philosophers. Mc Guire's famous quote "winners have parties. Losers have meetings. Has had to attend a lot of meetings this year!
farkurnell
Roar Rookie
Mango in the old days you’d go an have a beer together. Now days that’s a NoNo -hence the 5 mins of giggle before the News.
farkurnell
Roar Rookie
I thought the Moody Blues covered that pretty well
Mango Jack
Roar Guru
When do you reckon this started? When I were a lad, no one would have even thought of smiling after a loss, let alone standing around chatting and laughing with the blokes who just humiliated you, especially in full view of your dejected fans. It's on my growing list of "things in modern sport that give me the $hits".
Mango Jack
Roar Guru
There's no prize for second. No point winning the battle if you lose the war.
Duncan Smith
Roar Guru
Dane, here's my suggestion for your next article: "Blake Green signs with Knights. Contract includes clause stopping Green playing against any of his former clubs." (Manly, Storm, Warriors, Bulldogs, Eels, Sharks...)
farkurnell
Roar Rookie
The unknown this week is the Faf factor.A revitalised Staggs almost pulled it off last week.Staggs n Fafita this week could be the catalyst,but then again you got the clueless one in charge to stuff it up.
Big Daddy
Guest
This week is very hard. I'm doing well in the Roar tipping and have to weigh up my best scenario. I hope they win but to be honest I wouldn't/ won't tip them at the moment. Mind you they did beat South's early on. They'll win when you least expect it. I thought they were specials last week after the late Cronulla withdrawals.
farkurnell
Roar Rookie
Daddy that your classic Lose/win scenario - I did that last week with the Sharks v Broncs.still undecided about Broncs game this week
farkurnell
Roar Rookie
Yeah I imagine Broncs training sessions- one big Laugh in
Big Daddy
Guest
Kk, I'm expecting them to win Friday as well. Same as last week. For that reason I'm tipping South's then I win either way if they get up. :happy:
mushi
Roar Guru
Why wouldn't they smile after every game then :)
Adam
Roar Guru
A little known fact of why Kearney was seemingly randomly fired