Every AFL club's NFL counterpart

A random conversation with a close friend developed into an article no one asked for, but I’m giving you anyway. Which NFL team best describes your favourite footy club? Here we go.

Adelaide Crows: Atlanta Falcons
Choked a grand final (don’t forget Adelaide at halftime in 2017) and haven’t been the same since.

Brisbane Lions: Cleveland Browns
After some outstanding success early in their life (as the Brisbane merger in this example and pre-Super Bowl era for the Browns), the following years have been brutal on their fans, but they’re headed in the right direction, finally.

Carlton Blues: Miami Dolphins
The golden years were the ’70s and ’80s and since then, it’s been supporting the best player at the time (hello Anthony Koutoufides for Carlton and Dan Marino for the Dolphins) and the fans are quick to turn on their team when things get bad.

Collingwood Magpies: Dallas Cowboys
Portrayed as the “nation’s team”, both inland and internationally, but let’s face it, they’re more hated than loved, even with one of the larger fan-bases. More financially successful than celebrated for their modern trophy cabinet.

Essendon Bombers: Chicago Bears
Not getting anywhere in the higher echelons of success, won’t really bottom out but you’re always a little nervous about playing them.

Fremantle Dockers: Carolina Panthers
Had their day in the sun, didn’t quite get to the ultimate success and have been backpedalling since. Nat Fyfe and Christian McCaffrey are similar in star status also.

Geelong Cats: Green Bay Packers
Always around, small-town team and since their last championship have been the bridesmaids and never the bride. Their big-name players are known by everyone, but only real fans know the role players.

Gold Coast – Jacksonville Jaguars
Warm climate, perennially terrible, had a good year that kept the league engaged but at the end of the day, it seems like only their own fans and the opposition on any given day watch them. A number one draft pick is changing minds quickly, though – Matt Rowell for Gold Coast, Trevor Lawrence for the Jags.

(Photo by Mark Dadswell/Getty Images)

Greater Western Sydney: Baltimore Ravens
Both are the flashiest teams in the league to watch, they always feature in some of the best regular-season games, but finals? Geez… crash and burn.

Hawthorn Hawks: New England Patriots
The golden era is over. The coach has been around forever and has had more success than most young fan-bases will ever see. Now rebuilding and don’t have a lot of talent.

Melbourne Demons: Los Angeles Rams
Rich histories, starting to recapture some form, but too many of the same type of player holding them back. Fans think they’re more posh than they are (hello cheese boards).

North Melbourne Kangaroos: New York Jets
Has anyone thought about them since the ’70s and ’90s? Like, seriously? Languishing near the bottom and it’s borderline embarrassing to be beaten by them.

Port Adelaide Power: Seattle Seahawks
Young and unheralded, but really solid in the defensive part of the game, and when they score, it’s majestic at times. Always seems like the coach is half an inch from getting the sack when they lose.

Richmond Tigers: Kansas City Chiefs
The hottest thing in town, building a dynasty. Having the best coach in the competition is overshadowed by the best big-time player that perhaps the sport has ever seen.

St Kilda Saints: Buffalo Bills
No one that’s rational really hates them. When they succeed, the rest of the league jumps on board and hopes they go as far as they can.

Sydney Swans: Indianapolis Colts
Almost consistent to a scary point, has the success and is a team with a strong history and a building future.

West Coast Eagles: Pittsburgh Steelers
Hard-working, always successful, blue-collar fan-base, but suffer from being flat-track bullies at times.

Western Bulldogs: Philadelphia Eagles
Won a championship out of absolute nowhere and have been in no man’s land ever since.