The good news is that September is here, which means spring has sprung and finals footy has arrived.
The bad news is that AFL House have decided we needed a weekend off between the train wreck Preliminary Finals, and the drive-you-mad-cliché-titled-Big-Dance.
The problem with a week off is that we now have a large media focus on the woeful performances of Geelong and Port Adelaide, list analysis of the teams who failed, an abundance of trade rumours to discuss, and not enough focus on the two best performed teams of the season.
As we wait for the teams to unleash Carnage on the field at the Grand Final, we thought we’d have a little fun taking inspiration from the upcoming action blockbuster movie Venom: Let There Be Carnage releasing in cinemas from November 25.
Because when I think back to the first Venom movie, there sure was a lot of tackling, stabbing, shape-shifting and death… with zero free kicks awarded for the high tackles that saw heads being bitten clean off or even infringements for swearing and abuse.
If we had to choose someone to umpire this on-screen clash, you know who comes to mind?
Razor Ray Chamberlain.
“CARNAGE, CARNAGE, NO, YOU initiated that contact by placing your mouth and 40000 teeth around the head of VENOM, he did not shrug or duck, he teleported. Don’t look at me like that and do not speak to me like that again – you are off your line VENOM, play on!!”
For those who don’t know the movie, or the characters, here is a brief intro:
Venom is a black alien symbiote from outer space, which needs a living body as a host to survive. He stands at 274.32cm tall – or 9 feet in the old speak – and weighs 180kgs (these are my guesses). He has big shoulders, is very, very, very strong with menacing eyes and a long tongue. As a kid, he would have really benefited from his parents investing in his smile via an orthodontist, because his squillion sharp teeth cover the bulk of his face, and you feel this will be used against him when auditioning for roles next to Jennifer Aniston in romantic comedies.
Venom’s player comparison is the contested BEAST, Clayton Oliver.
CARNAGE is, to put it simply, a more dangerous version of Venom, with similar strength, agility, and speed abilities. He can use his tendrils as deadly weapons and shoot them as projectiles. Handily for his reigns of terror, he also has a strong healing factor. He is meaner, more cunning, and willing to fight a dirtier style to ensure victory.
His player comparison is one of the hardest footballers to ever play the game, Robert DiPierdomenico.
Of course, the modern-day footballer is more aligned to Clayton Oliver and VENOM than they are the old school mentality of CARNAGE, Dipper and the 20th century gang who were willing to cross the line into assault to give their team the best chance at victory.
As we look ahead to the AFL GF, the strength and depth of both teams is scarily even.
Bontempelli – who might be the best pure footballer we’ve ever seen – Macrae, Treloar, Smith, Liberatore, Naughton and Dale/Daniel are equals to Petracca, Oliver, Viney, Brayshaw, May, Lever and Salem/Langdon.
Max Gawn single-handedly has the Melbourne Demons as outright favourites to triumph over the Western Bulldogs heading into the September 25th season decider. But it’s the connection of ‘symbiotes’ Clayton Oliver and Christian Petracca to their ‘host’ Gawn that will be the deciding factor.
Think about how VENOM was able to outduel Riot in the original movie. He could never do it alone – symbiote vs symbiote – through sheer physicality, shape-shifting tricks, or smarts. It was his connection with Eddie Brock, and their team-work/bond, that allowed both VENOM and Eddie to overcome the ego, arrogance and psychotic killer instincts of the villain symbiote and his host.
Offensively, the clearance work of this trio saw them exiting through the front door of stoppages, which, as we know, provides a direct line to the leading forwards, one on ones and bulk goals.
It is how 125 to 42 happens. And to solidify the point, it’s how 163 to 44 happens across the last five quarters the two teams had played against each other.
Defensively, this same trio, with the assistance of a third host connected symbiote, Jack Viney, drove the Cats out the backdoor when they did get their hands on the contested ball. The only avenue this provided Geelong offensively was wide to the wings or backwards. This allowed Melbourne time to structure up defensively, pressure for turn overs and deny Geelong access to any form of execution of their possession style of play.
The Cats have recruited a large number of players over the last period, but never a decent ruck, forcing them into a Rhys Stanley/Esava Ratugolea combination to take on the power of Gawn.
The Dogs? They’ll have Tim English; who is more like Winnie the Pooh when compared to the impactful capabilities of Gawn, who is coming off the back of one of the most dominant individual games of football ever played.
Scarily for Dogs fans is that they’ll rely on Stef Martin to keep Gawn honest. You’d have to think English plays a big role forward to try and stretch the lack of ruckman-type-height in the two Melbourne defensive pillars, Lever and May. Lever and May want to control the air, and English deep would be the best chance of negating that tactic by, at the very least, bringing the ball to ground for Cody Weightman and Laitham Vandermeer to engage their low to the ground forward craft.
After one game in 16 weeks, by the time the final rolls around, the Dogs cannot have faith that Martin will be able to negate Gawn’s freak aerobic tank and ground coverage, dominance in the air, tap/clearance dominance, and overall supply to his midfield symbiote.
Maybe the biggest impact Stef could have on this match-up is to go full 1989 with a Yates on Brereton-inspired play at the opening bounce. It’s old school, it’s what Carnage would do, and it might just be the only way.
On the flip side, it’s hard to go past Marcus Bontempelli as the player required to create chaos should the Bulldogs stand a chance of beating Gawn and Melbourne.
Bontempelli is a flawless generational talent.
There is not one facet of the game he does not have total control of and it’s scary to think where he ends up as a player once his career reaches its final chapter. At age 25, his book isn’t even half-way written, and with 160 games in the bank, he is a four-time All-Australian, voted Captain of The Year and League MVP this year by his playing peers at the AFL Players Association and already has a premiership medallion in his pool room.
Bontempelli is in the Leigh Mathews mould.
He will collect 30+ possessions covering the ground like a rover, his tackles stick and his biggest impact on winning football games almost always come on the scoreboard. He’ll need 25+ possessions and three goals for the Bulldogs to crack the defensive code of the Demons.
The Dogs have the symbiotes, they’ve even got the number one symbiote and may run deeper through the midfield, but they’ve no host, and therefore the Dees and superhost Max Gawn will win the 2021 AFL Premiership, with Gawn to win the Norm Smith medal.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
Tom Hardy returns to the big screen as the lethal protector Venom, one of MARVEL’s greatest and most complex characters. Directed by Andy Serkis, the film also stars Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris and Woody Harrelson, in the role of the villain Cletus Kasady/Carnage.Venom: Let There Be Carnage is releasing exclusively in cinemas from November 25 and thanks to Sony Pictures Releasing, you can win tickets to catch it on the big screen by clicking here.
©& ™2021 MARVEL. ©2021 CP11. All Rights Reserved.
Peter pan
Guest
Dogs midfield will destroy them. But how the Dee’s will win is from their defence. Best back 6 going around and I’m a dogs supporter
Peter pan
Guest
That’s because no video footage was leaked????????
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I have been critical of English being used frequently as the prime ruckman, but I am confident he could be competitive against Gawn for a one off game if that is required. If the Bulldogs can afford it, English should be restricted to 30% maximum time in the ruck, he will be more value in the forward line.
Nectarivorous
Guest
Also a bit out of line with the lack of knowledge of the game bit too, with somebody who knows a lot more about sport than I do. I'd just woken up...
Nectarivorous
Guest
Hiya. I get it's his opinion, I'm making an assessment of his opinion as uninformed, and providing mine, which is my opinion. It's called discussion. My point is where was Gawn when we didn't have Martin in round 19 and won comfortably? So why would you assume we would struggle more with our best ruck than without? See what I mean? Very good points about the choking. Short sighted thinking based on the fact I wasn't alive yet when all that success happened (though that says a bit as I'm 40 ????). I would still point to their prelim before this one as a massive fold on three big stage, but this team deserves much credit that they have shown nothing but awesome footy and confidence all the way through. Would be more correct to say weight of history is against Melbourne, just as it was us in 16. We came through though and Melbourne could too. And yes we did get through in 16, but doesn't mean the lack of credentials didn't exist, it just took an amazing team playing in an other worldly 'in the zone' state to get it done. What we are going to find out is if Melbourne are that. If they are I will be as happy as anyone for them. I am going to the game knowing that whatever result, whoever wins deserves it just for beating the other side, so good are both these teams. The bit about May was just shade. I hate how good he is. Wish we had him. All I know is I've got tier 1 seats right on the wing to watch my team play the only GF played in Perth in my lifetime. I've already had my win. I'm tipping an all-time granny.
Griffo 09
Roar Rookie
"The fact you think Gawn will be the difference instead of Beveridge says a lot." This is his opinion; therefore, what it says is his opinion. Also, what is this history of choking? Melbourne actually has the best conversion rate of minor premierships into premierships. Although, nothing in recent times, expectation hasn't been that high, so can The Demons have a history of choking? Furthermore, a lack of finals credentials and playing against a side with the only real finals credentials wasn't a problem for your team in 2016. It might mean something and it might not. Moreover, by what basis do you call May selfish? Because he says he's going to be alright to play after tweaking his hamstring. Time will tell if he's alright, but you're jumping the gun on your assessment of May. Nevertheless, the bit about 3 goals from Bontenpelli seems like an arbitrary figure. If the dogs are to win, isn't doesn't matter who kicks the goals, just as long they kick enough.
Nectarivorous
Guest
Assuming written by a Melbourne fan? In any case a real lack of knowledge of the game on display. Who were the Gawns in the Port Adelaide game, seem to remember articles about at least 3 different players we would struggle to stop? How'd that work out? The fact you think Gawn will be the difference instead of Beveridge says a lot. 'If the Dogs are to stand a chance..' ???????? Demons have played one game in a month, have a history of choking and are playing the greatest backs to the wall team of the modern era, and literally all the pressure is on them. If I was a Melbourne fan I'd be worried. The Dogs are the team in this GF with any real finals credentials. When you said Martin needed to keep up with Gawn's aerobic capacity was when I knew you were off the reservation. You would literally only have had to watch one game of footy in your life to know that's not how Martin is used, and it was played two weeks ago. That will literally have zero relevance on the outcome of the game. Not saying Gawn won't get off the leash and win it off his own back, but if he does it will be nothing to do with Martin's aerobic capacity. Bontempelli will need 3 goals for the Dogs to 'crack the Demons defensive code'?Where do you get this stuff? Did you watch the Port game? The only thing required down there is Beveridge's tactical superiority. Not to mention it's the Demons who will need to find a way to crack Naughton, English, Schache, Hannan, Weightman, without having their structure dismantled tactically like it was in round 19. You know, that time the Dogs did it in a canter while playing their worst footy of the season? Your biggest worry should be the selfish me-first May popping his hamstring off the bone in the first five minutes - if he doesn't do it in their match practice today. Melbourne may well win because they are an incredible side, but I hope like hell they are going in with the same presumption of superiority you display, as nothing would more guarantee a Dogs win. Some great points in here no doubt, but the overarching assumption that the Dogs are scrambling to keep up with a clear favourite is just bizarre to me. Also love old mate above questioning how the Dogs go about celebrating. Our way worked pretty well when we made history in 16. Seems to have gone alright for us during the furthest traveled finals campaign ever, as we get significantly better with each game we play. When you guys have done anything worth celebrating how about you show us peasants how it's done.
Valentino
Roar Rookie
You can keep a lid on it or take the pressure off with a couple of beers - and I reckon those beers etc. did more good than harm - especially for a team on the long road. Horses for courses - it wouldn't have seemed right for the Dees.
Chanon
Roar Rookie
Hey Chris as Bevo said no pressure everyone is in love with the Dees :boxing:
Chanon
Roar Rookie
Well with another week time to get over the virus. It’s probably A common cold & nothing more but who knows?
Chris Lewis
Roar Guru
that is not good, hope all players are right for final. I actually backed them before that, after final match against Dees. I was shocked they nearly won.
Chanon
Roar Rookie
Really Chris you put money on the retirees, gee mate what’s going on? Clearly you got caught up in the hype after they beat a injury depleted GWS! Did you hear that Dees coach & two important players are sick & are in quarantine :sick:
Chris Lewis
Roar Guru
yep, i think the dees will win more of the centre clearances. Oliver, petracca and so on. I am not fussed either way. While I want Dees to win, covered my bets after dogs beat dons with 10.00 odds for the doggies. pretty happy to get 6.50 and 10.00 for the grand finalists, although i did waste some on cats too. me bad, always thought they were not up to it
Chanon
Roar Rookie
Chris getting on top in midfield that’s fascinating comment :stoked:
Chris Lewis
Roar Guru
I pick Dees to win, based on getting on top in midfield, but hope it is a good match.
Chris Lewis
Roar Guru
Bontempelli is in the Leigh Mathews mould. Really? Some of these comments are silly, including about English.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
What utter rubbish. Two weeks out from the GF Bevo let them release some steam and celebrate their enormous achievement in making the GF. I thought it was brilliant. A couple of beers and a release of adrenaline, mateship, celebration and plenty of time to refocus.
CloudRunner
Roar Rookie
“If you have played sport”… and your evidence to be contrary to his experience of this is…?
Chanon
Roar Rookie
That’s crap you have to embrace & enjoy these moments being a bloody robot & a wound up doll won’t cut it on the big dance :silly:
Jamie
Guest
A bit sensitive there. If you have played sport you would understand it is important to celebrate wins, they would be switched back on by the they got back on the bus. Its Demons supporters and Media hype will affect the players if they allow it. I'm sure Port were calm collected too.