I have been around rugby league pretty much my entire life.
I was taken to watch my dad play when I was two. I watched the local team when we moved to Northern NSW. I watched NRL. My earliest memory of league is watching the ’97 ARL grand final.
I played footy – union or league – most of my life growing up and was a part of a range of different dressing rooms run by different coaches and clubs. I love the game and the Roosters and I love being apart of a team.
But having today listened to Mia Freedman’s No Filter interview with Phoebe Burgess, it is more clear than it has ever been to me that the NRL, clubs, NRL media and dressing rooms from under-18s to the NRL are toxic and there has to be a change.
Phoebe spoke about a wide range of topics: the start of her relationship with Sam Burgess and the love story, how she felt the going to a game for the first time and the hierarchical nature of being a WAG and how for a lot of partners that was all that they could be, and for Phoebe, she felt it slowed down her career.
She spoke about the relationship and role that the women had within the club being that of keeping ‘their individual’ happy while providing “sex, cuddles and a photo opportunity.”
Phoebe spoke about having children and going from an independent woman to that of someone who the club expected to raise the children without complaint so Sam could concentrate on the game ahead. How the boys were given a night out alone to decompress and drink, whereas the women were given a dinner where the club still expected them to care for the children.
She spoke about the affairs that the Souths grand final hero had. The sexting scandal that came out and the cocaine use that police discovered in a roadside test while he was on his way to see their children.
Burgess was a warrior on the field, but recent media reports have sullied his image away from the field (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)
While this is a story of a deteriorating marriage played out in public, Phoebe spoke about the role of the Rabbitohs and the NRL had in covering Sam’s affairs and complaints from over 30 women.
The role they had in gaslighting Phoebe to keep her in a marriage that turned out to be dangerous, how a club official rang Phoebe’s dad in an attempt to keep her in the relationship, making promises that behaviour would change.
She spoke about the club’s role in moving her down to a small town in country NSW where she couldn’t receive news, where she couldn’t be seen by the prying media and where they could tell her the story they wanted to spin. Phoebe spoke about how the club would cover up for certain players but there was a hierarchy for who could potentially expect a cover-up.
She spoke about how the media went into overdrive to paint her and Sam as the victims of women who had taken advantage of Burgess, or tricked him, in the case of the sexting story, which the woman stopped pursuing after media backlash.
How the media painted her as a trickster seeking money who targeted Sam Burgess. A story where she did not go to the police, she went to the club and NRL for help who then spun a story to Phoebe hide her from the truth and the media.
She also spoke about why she was talking to Mia Freedman, this interview being done after the Rabbitohs legend had won SAS Australia and how he had cried on TV admitting to his sins and telling a story that Phoebe says is not the truth and that she needed to tell her story.
Phoebe Burgess was strong, articulate and clearly intelligent and while I listened to this interview, I thought maybe it was a failure of the Rabbitohs. Maybe it was a failure because of who Sam Burgess was and his relationships within the game.
But if I was to stop and think about it on a deeper level, I had seen problems with country rugby league dressing rooms, sexist jokes, the putting down of women, the explicit discussion of women and the separation of partners from the club.
Stories of the star player being a known domestic abuser, but people within the club – sadly, myself included – not saying anything. All of this behaviour done in front of under-16s and 18s which is what I was at the time.
Seeing men in positions of power within the club teaches young men that the behaviour is either okay to do yourself or perhaps fine to ignore and cover up if needed.
I don’t think this is a league issue – I think it may be a male sports issue. I’ve heard similar talk in cricket, soccer and union dressing sheds. I have gone through years where I don’t play sports because I grow tired of the sexist talk and it’s easier to just not play.
The NRL and the NRL media, along with country rugby league, need to do better so we can be a leader among the codes.
My final thought would be to highlight something Phoebe said in her interview: being furious when she found out her ex-husband had tested positive for cocaine while on his way to care for his children.
She was not furious with Sam for making this choice, but with those around him for allowing him to do this. This is the clearest sign to me that the culture within a club consumes everyone who gets involved with it.
That a player is never responsible for his own actions and that his ex-wife still believes that after being – for lack of a better word – indoctrinated into the culture.
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
Ah, Tony seemed to be getting a bit flustered by this article, thought I'd give him something else to look at))
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
The UAP is a scam though Kent, run by a rogue politician with more dollars than sense. Clive Palmer left former NRL player and UAP candidate Matt Adamson holding the bill when Adamson failed to win a seat for his electorate and fell short of Palmer's expectations. Clive Palmer Won’t Pay His Fish & Chips Bill https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.pedestrian.tv/news/clive-palmer-wont-pay-his-fish-chips-bill/amp/
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
they're probably the same mate, just do it wearing tweed jackets & hammered drunk on expensive plonk
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
wonder how her insta whatever influencer would have gone had she never married SB. maybe she'd be Narelle Nobody?
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
don't all of Steven Seagal movies go straight to Beta?
Big Daddy
Roar Rookie
I read the article through and it's not much different to what's presented here . Probably the reason I don't write articles.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
Rob, look at my earlier comment. All charges against Burgess were dropped by police. This was a setup from start to finish by a family that wanted to squeeze the lemon and get every dollar they could out of Sam. That and boosting the instagram and twitter accounts of Sam's ex-wife were incentive enough to spin the story in the media. They had the chance to settle things amicably and privately and thought they could destroy Sam in the court of public opinion instead and take away his opportunity to stay involved in the game through coaching and FOX Sport commentary. That and denying him access to his kids. Pretty low act without cause if you ask me.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
Betamax has gone the way of the dinosaur, HY. That was replaced by VHS which in turn was replaced by DVDs and Blue Ray only to be made redundant by streaming services like Netflix. :silly:
Nat
Roar Guru
I had a similar thought BD. I hate to make comment on such an issue without context behind the story. I went and found the article with snippets. The kindest thing I can say is I will never understand social media life. The podcast was as curated as any influencer's insta account. It really isn't the best example to make this article from. We've been here long enough to know an thought poorly expressed isn't necessarily a poor idea. I have to take him on his word that the click bait headline wasn't the crux of the story.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
"when they know how bad they treat women." Not all do Steve. Think of Benji defending two women against some thugs a few years back. Remember, there is a relatively small percentage of reports against players given the number of players playing the game and the opportunities they have for socialising over an entire season. Also bear in mind the cases of entrapment (i.e. the Roosters employee at the centre of the Rabbitohs s3xting scandal and the woman who tried to setup Josh Reynolds and video his reaction trying to paint him as an abusive person). Also bear in mind the false accusations that were later disproved against Brett Stewart, Ben T'eo, Jonathan Thurston and SKD. There are always two sides to every story. Unfortunately in the case of Sam Burgess and his marital problems we have only ever heard one side of the story, the wife's and her family supporting her.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
Sam, Phoebe Burgess react as police clear former NRL star . “NSW Police Operational Legal Advice unit just recommended no criminal prosecution(s) be preferred against Sam Burgess in relation to these allegations. That now concludes this investigation,” Mr Murphy wrote. . NSW Police confirmed the development in a brief statement: “Following extensive inquiries, no further police action is expected to be taken.” . https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/sam-phoebe-burgess-react-as-police-clear-former-nrl-star/news-story/b4566f56e2324ff4949fc9bb50dae352 . Clearly Burgess’s former partner and in-laws are opportunists who sort to spin their own yarn for their own advantage. If the police can discount these allegations against Burgess as unfounded or spurious, no doubt for some ulterior motive then it says a lot about the family.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
What part of our mutual agreement not to post on each other’s comments or threads do you not understand mushi?
mushi
Roar Guru
Repeatedly mentioning how you didn't mention something is just a passive aggressive way of mentioning it. Also why would the posts of a repeatedly banned contributor with little interest in truth or rational thought be the frame of reference for all roar articles going forward.
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
"I’m definitely not blaming rugby league as a whole I think it’s much wider then that" But it starts and ends with one Rabbitohs player (Sam Burgess) who has been acquitted of any wrongdoing every time he has taken these allegations to court. Meanwhile Jarryd Hayne who is prison and JDB who was extremely fortunate to escape prison for crimes against women don't rate a mention? What an excessively biased and vexatious story this is Jacks. It is nothing but Roosters propaganda 101. Look back at my history since I first started posting and see if I ever attacked Jake Friend for his drinking problem when his career went off the rails. Instead I reserved my judgement and now acknowledge what a great role model Friend has become for players to show how it is possible to turn your life and your career around. A few "woof woof" jokes at the expense of Mitchell Pearce aside I don't like to go after players in their private lives in general and if I make mention of it I certainly don't single one player out without mentioning them in context with other offenders.
Big Daddy
Roar Rookie
Nat, the problem with this article is its based on a 3 rd party podcast so I'm having difficulty on knowing wether it's the author's article or based on the podcast. In saying that the premise is fine but only 1 person is mentioned . I'd have been more happy if one of the less fortunate wives had their story discussed although we need to be careful on what we say as we aren't in a position to discuss the facts . Nether the less it's an issue but my opinion is a poorly presented article and not edited correctly .
Glory Bound
Roar Rookie
Sam Burgess was cleared of ANY wrongdoing in those allegations. In fact it was proven that the player involved in this setup was not even Sam Burgess. . Just as spurious allegations from Sam’s former wife and father-in-law resulted in an overturned verdict on appeal with Sam being acquitted of any wrongdoing. As to the trouble in their marriage that is a private issue and a case of he said, she said where the truth will probably always lie somewhere in the middle. But that is really nobodies business outside the family even if one member of the family sort to profit from going public with the families dirty laundry. . Sam Burgess has been the most maligned and vilified personality in the NRL and without cause as all accusations against him were later refuted. The net result though was that any chance of a come back to the NRL or involvement in the NRL through coaching, mentoring or commentary for FOX Sports has been denied for Burgess. Fortunately for his former partner her instagram and twitter accounts are going through the roof in popularity. Coincidence? . I am beyond sick and tired of social justice warriors being given a platform to hijack this forum that is meant to be about discussing this sport and celebrating the tribalism through banter that has given this game the character it enjoys. Badly done Jacks. This story was a real hatchet job and a cheap shot that should have been below even Roosters fans. You need to lift your game.
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
its how the women clamber for the limelight mate. All about being seen at the big events in the semi revealing dress so the internet will go wild about who wore the hottest dress at the Awards. the one with the more side b00b gets the most internet attention. And i bet the women are the ones who select these dresses too
astro
Roar Rookie
Sadly, many of the comments on this article certainly highlight the fan attitude you talk about...
astro
Roar Rookie
Is it not possible that maybe: A. she loved her husband and married him for that reason? B. he changed and developed worse behaviours that weren't there at the start of their relationship/marriage? C. she tried to support her husband and help him, rather than just run away as soon as their relationship struggled?
The PTA has disbanded
Guest
That's some incredible victim blaming, Duncan. Kinda like how a women brings it on themselves if they are walking through the park at 2am wearing a skimpy dress, right? Phoebe Burgess had every right to expect that her husband wouldn't threaten her. Jeez. Come join us in the 21st century. It might scare you at first, but then you realise it's not that bad.