UK View: Einstein’s ‘insanity theory’ as England disintegrate – again

Australia are lording it over England – the English touring press pack all agree – with the hosts closing in on a 2-0 series lead in Adelaide.

And the chances of a comeback by Joe Root’s men ‘belong in cloud cuckoo land’.

It was another dispiriting day for England: skittled for 236 to concede a whopping 237-run innings deficit, which was extended to 282 by stumps on day three. There looks no way out of a diminishing corner for the tourists over the final two days at the Adelaide Oval.

“There are some strong contenders, but this was the worst day so far in England’s attempt at regaining the Ashes,” lamented BBC commentator Johnathan Agnew for the BBC.

The Daily Mail’s Lawrence Booth recalled a famous Albert Einstein quote to sum up the futility of England’s disintegrating cricket against the Australians.

“If the definition of insanity, said Einstein, is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result, then England’s cricketers clearly need to swot up on their aphorisms,” Booth groaned.

“To the dismay of their supporters, who are beginning to wonder how bad the damage will be once this series ends in mid-January, their travails on the third day of the second Ashes Test at Adelaide mirrored almost exactly the events of the first at Brisbane.

“Australia are eyeing a 2-0 lead, from which the chances of an English comeback belong in cloud cuckoo land.

“It was the circumstances of their latest surrender that made events at Adelaide Oval hard to take for a side who are in danger of going the way of so many of their predecessors in this part of the world.”

A wearied Nick Hoult, in The Telegraph, wrote plaintively: “This time it was supposed to be different. This time England would compete with Australia, score big totals and hit them hard with pace.

“So far it has been worse. Australia are lording it over England because their cricket has been blighted by basic errors with bat, ball and catching, as well as selection.

“Bowled out for 236 by a side missing two bowlers in the world’s top four, England were staring at a 282-run deficit by the end of day three with Australia having not enforced the follow on and completely dominant.

“Australia can dictate terms by putting more miles in the legs of ageing seamers before timing their declaration for the twilight on Sunday evening to present under-pressure, fragile batsmen with the hardest conditions.”

Ben Stokes is bowled by Cameron Green on day three of the second Test. (Photo by Peter Mundy/Speed Media/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

For The Sun’s John Etheridge, ‘it is the hope that kills’.

“Just as they did in the second innings of the first Test, [Joe] Root and [Dawid] Malan batted with a competence that no other England batters have approached,” he said.

“We should have known better. What followed was as feeble and lamentable as anything England’s collection of faltering batters have shown in 2021.

“What is the matter with these people? Where is the nous, the resilience and the desire to try to stay in? Guess what, fellas, you can’t score runs unless you are actually out in the middle.”

For Simon Wilde, in The Times, the swiftness of the change in momentum on day three was ‘something to behold’.

“This was another chastening day for the England team and their supporters,” Wilde wrote.

“In batting terms, they began with their best session of the series, Dawid Malan and Joe Root playing serenely and adding 123 with few alarms.

“But what followed was their worst in terms of runs scored, as first Root and then Malan departed and all momentum dried up.

“The speed with which the initiative can switch hands when this England side are batting is something to behold. Where would they be without Root or, since his return to the side four matches ago, Malan?

“England’s best total in their past 11 matches (432) came against India at Headingley, when Malan and Root put on 139. In Brisbane they added 162 and here their alliance raised the score by 138. But at the Gabba the team still managed only 297 and here it was a meagre 236.

“What happens when these two fail to get set together?”

The Guardian’s Ali Martin saw some dark humour in England’s catastrophic series.

“When the England brains trust held back Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad at the Gabba under a belief they could work their magic under lights in Adelaide, it is fair to assume the scenario envisaged was not the pair trying to push their team past the follow-on mark with the bat,” Martin wryly observed.

“Yet here they were, England’s two most decorated seamers united out in the middle and Mitchell Starc bounding in with a hard, new, pink Kookaburra ball in hand.

“The specialist batsmen above them had earlier produced their latest heinous collapse, the crowd was up, the famous Edwardian scoreboard on the grass hill read 220 for nine and the deficit was 253 runs.

“The gulf felt greater to be honest.”

Also writing in The Times,England great Mike Atherton hearkened back to one of Test cricket’s legendary utterances when describing yet another chastening day for the visitors.

“One of the most famous quotes in cricket came on this ground nearly 90 years ago, when Bill Woodfull chastised England’s Bodyline tactics by stating that there was only one team playing cricket out there,” Atherton observed.

“Given the marked contrast between Australia’s out-cricket in the middle session of play on the third day and England’s during the first two days, it is too tempting not to recall it.

“Where England were aimless and lacking direction, Australia’s tactics were sharply defined; where England’s fielding was lacklustre, Australia were full of intensity; where Joe Root lacked options and variety in the attack, Steve Smith was spoilt for choice.”

Nathan Lyon celebrates Ollie Pope’s wicket on day two of the second Test. (Photo by Mark Brake – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

Veteran cricket watcher Scyld Berry, in The Telegraph, dwelled on Australia’s ‘mugging’ of tailenders James Anderson and Stuart Broad at the fag-end of England’s sorry first innings.

“A single quick yorker would have done the job. The object of the exercise for Australia however, once James Anderson joined Stuart Broad at the crease, was not to dismiss them,” Berry noted.

“It was to punch England’s veterans into a corner, and pin them there, and bash them with bouncers and bruise them, before taking England’s tenth and final wicket.

“It was painful to watch two of England’s most faithful servants being mugged in the fading light, which might have been metaphorically apt: this is the evening of Anderson’s and Broad’s career.

“Jhye Richardson and Mitchell Starc tore in with the second new ball, and did not bother with anything full, just short balls, rolling back the years to when Bodyline was unleashed for the first time, on this same ground, in 1932-33.”

The Telegraph’s Oliver Brown summed up the mounting despair inside the England camp.

“A disintegrating Ashes tour can feel like the loneliest place in sport,” Brown wrote.

“The cruelty of the latest mismatch is that England’s players, boiled in the Adelaide heat as their pace attack misfires and their batting crumbles faster than an overbaked lamington, still have a month of this to go.”