Best Test XI of players who left NSW for another lesser state

Curse you, Big Daddy and Tony.

Well not so much Tony, who is forever deified for his contribution to Tony compliance in any Test XI, but well curse you anyway. Oh and you too, AMD, for supporting their suggestion.

Waaaaaaaay back at the very first instalment of the sixteenists, an article was requested by Big Daddy, Tony and AMD on NSW players who defected to another state to play Tests. AMD, incidentally, first coined the term sixteenists on the now defunct 16 cent coin, but let’s stay focused here people.

And let me just say to Big Daddy, Tony and AMD: it gave me no satisfaction to write this. When you see the team, you’ll see why. So curse you all. Again.

So, yeah, here it is. The defective NSW team of defectors.

1. Bill Brown (NSW – Queensland)
2. Bob Simpson (WA – NSW – WA)
3. Simon Katich (NSW – WA)
4. Don Bradman (NSW – SA)
5. Allan Border (NSW – Queensland)
6. Usman Khawaja (NSW – Queensland)
7. Adam Gilchrist (NSW – WA)
8. Ray Lindwall (NSW – Queensland)
9. Fred Spofforth (NSW – Victoria)
10. Jeff Thomson (NSW – Queensland)
11. Colin McCool (NSW – Queensland)

(PA Images via Getty Images)

What does this tell us? Firstly, it confirms Queensland sucks. Way to steal all these superstars, you stealing stealers.

Secondly, just how good is this team? Like it’s seriously good. Ridiculously good. Ridiculous and serious and good. Well that’s just great.

By comparison here’s a team of test players who arrived in glorious NSW. Yeah look, it’s not as strong. And there’s one huge positional dilemma. But you get that.

Graeme Watson (Victoria – WA – NSW)
Shane Watson (Tasmania – Queensland – NSW)
Neil Harvey (Victoria – NSW)
Keith Miller (Victoria – NSW)
Michael Bevan (everywhere)
Trevor Chappell (SA – WA – NSW)
Beau Casson (WA – NSW)
Nathan Lyon (SA – NSW)
Ian Davis (NSW – Queensland – NSW)
JJ Ferris (NSW – SA – NSW)
SCG MacGill (WA – NSW)

Great. Thanks for that, lousy developing minnow states. Especially you, lousy Queensland.

Like, no disrespect intended, but you pilfer Brown, Border, Khawaja, Lindwall, Thomson and McCool, and you give us Ian Davis and re-gift Shane Watson. Yeah, that’s a fair swap. Not.

And SA wasn’t much better, nicking the Don. Well, you did give us JJ Ferris, Beau Casson and Trevor Chappell.

Imagine if they were footy players and you were trading footy cards with your mates during lunch at school. Here, I’ll trade you the Don for JJ, Beau and Trevor.

How do you think that’d go down? You’d be laughed all the way back to Ceduna.

And the NSW imports team don’t even have a keeper. Based on the rule of 16, WA are above any form of trade rort … but c’mon, Gilly?

(Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

You could have at least given NSW a four-Test Luke Ronchi. But you had to send him to NZ rather than NSW. Wrong New team, guys.

So no keeper. No keeper. No keeper. No, this isn’t a problem playing arguably the strongest Shield team ever assembled. Calm NSW blue ocean. Calm NSW blue ocean.

Righto, well, Graeme Watson with his 35 first-class average can open. I like the synergy of having Watson and Watson together. And he can bowl.

But Graeme was also married four times so there are concerns how he responds to a tight line, his ability to build partnerships, managing to turn singles into twos and the intense pressure of facing consecutive maidens.

As history tells us: Graeme’s not a keeper.

What about Trevor? Obviously being the youngest brother, he’d be used to fielding for hours and hours and hours. So he’s got practice.

(Photo by S&G/PA Images via Getty Images)

It also resolves any sticky last-ball situations. On the bright side, Trevor is virtually unplayable bowling at the death.

But Trevor was a gun field, so I’m going for Beau Casson. Firstly, glorious NSW have Lyon, MacGill (thanks, WA) and left-arm wrist spinner Bevan, which provides plenty of spin (which is required to respond to Graeme’s many maidens).

WA-to-NSW Casson is also a mirror-swap for keeper Gilly (NSW to WA). Maybe Beau was a better keeper than Gilly all along?

Who knows? Beau knows. So Beau Casson will wear the gloves.

So what gives? Why do so many legends leave glorious NSW to play for minnow states and so few legends come to glorious NSW?

Isn’t that obvious? Firstly, the defecting NSW greats wanted to help the minnow states and challenge themselves by facing the toughest opposition in the country, which is of course glorious NSW.

Secondly, any legend thinking of coming to glorious NSW would know the competition to even make the NSW third XI would be brutal, so they wisely avoided that whole hornets nest.

(Credit: Ben Radford/Allsport via Getty Images)

Well, except for Graeme Watson, who fancied a bit of drama.

So what did we learn? Not only is glorious NSW the most glorious of states, including cricketing states, their charitable donations to ‘developing’ states such as Queensland shows just how glorious NSW was.

Look at the calibre of players who defected to help make the Shield comp what it is.

Yet glorious NSW holds the record with something like 867 Sheffield Shield titles. Victoria is a distant second with three titles. Queensland have minus 45.

The late, great David Hookes always wondered why selectors handed out a baggy green with the baggy blue to every NSW player. Well, now we know. Now we know.

Let’s all take a moment, stand up, and give a round of applause to the greatest state in the history of everything: glorious NSW.

There, Big Daddy, Tony and AMD. Are you happy now?!?

I hope you are. Actually, no I don’t.