Most front-row forwards get better as they inch towards 30. But for Atu Moli, the former Chiefs prop felt like he was trapped in a 40-year-old body and repeatedly told his young family he was “done”.
Indeed, after three years of frustration, Moli – the youngest All Blacks forward at the 2019 World Cup (24) – considered hanging up the boots.
Weighed down by the expectation of being an ‘All Black’, and failing to live up to his expectations, the 28-year-old – the Western Force’s new big-name recruit – faced a mental crisis in the years after going to rugby’s showpiece event.
Now, having temporarily forgone his dream of playing for the All Blacks by leaving New Zealand to sign with the Force, Moli believes a sea change is exactly what he needed to rediscover his love for rugby.
“From playing with the All Blacks and ending up here [in Perth], at the start it was quite hard because you always have that dream to continue in the black jersey, but, at the same time, I was having a lot of mental breakdowns and was worried about what’s going to happen to my future,” Moli revealed in an exclusive interview with The Roar.
“It got to a point where I needed to decide for myself and not just what the typical norm is that ‘Oh, you’ve made the All Blacks, now you have to stay there because you’re an All Black’ and have that on your belt.
“I was just ready for a change and wanted something different.”
Atu Moli has opened up on the mental breakdowns that saw him decide he needed a sea change. (Photo by Adam Pretty – World Rugby/World Rugby via Getty Images)
It’s the first time Moli has opened up on his three-year mental challenge, which culminated with the versatile front-rower being in and out of the fast-improving Chiefs side that made a strong run to last year’s Super Rugby final.
“I always talk to my wife about it, but I’ve never talked to the rugby world about any of this stuff,” he said.
“I just started opening up to my parents and family and what I was going through.
“For me, it was putting the pressure on myself and needing to be that ‘All Black’ player on the field and needing to stand out and perform well, but my body didn’t allow me to be great. That took a mental toll with everything that was happening with me and my career, and I wasn’t in love with the game anymore.
“It got to the stage where I was starting to think that I’d hang up the boots, not just because of selection but injuries.”
A short tour to Perth with the Chiefs in early June was the catalyst behind Moli’s defection to the Force.
While the Chiefs beat the Force well to scuttle Simon Cron’s hopes of making the finals, Moli got talking to his long-time friend and former teammate Chase Tiatia and was taken aback by the home team’s ambition and their vocal supporter base.
“I like being in the team that’s got that status of being in the underdogs,” he said.
“Then playing them last year, I loved it when we were playing them at home. The fans they have, it’s something that excited me when I was making the decision to sign.”
Atu Moli is loving life in Perth after leaving New Zealand rugby. Photo: Western Force
Moli’s arrival in Perth is a significant one for Cron’s side, with the Force regularly blown away at the set-piece regularly last year as their lack of depth was exposed up front.
Capable of playing on either side of the scrum, Moli will help shore up their scrum issues after being schooled by the All Blacks’ former scrum coach Mike Cron – the uncle of Force coach, Simon.
“I’m definitely loving his [Cron’s] style of coaching and he’s quite a character,” Moli said.
“He kind of reminds me of the ‘Scrum Doctor’ [Mike Cron]. He gives me his kind of vibes. His coaching style. He’s not easy on the boys, but he’s hard and wants the players to be better.”
Moli’s arrival at the Force hasn’t been welcomed by everyone in Australia.
While Rugby Australia chief executive Phil Waugh is an advocate of being “creative” to ensure their five Super Rugby franchises become more creative, others believe players like Moli are simply taking up a position that Australian rugby must not just fill, but improve their stocks in.
The arrival of former All Blacks Maori lock Tom Franklin has similarly seen some question the Force’s methods of filling their squad.
But Moli, who would never have considered playing for an Australian side until recently, believes the trans-Tasman rivals can help each other out more.
“When I was young, I was against it, but now, it’s almost like we should help each other,” he said.
“When Australian rugby players go over to New Zealand and play, they have the best time of their lives and it’s the same thing for us New Zealanders or, at least, for me.
“I know our rugby levels, we’re different in the way we play, but it’s just good learning. It’s just another skill.
“I was surprised when I first came here. The athletes they have here in Australia and the Western Force, they’re outstanding. They’re fast, strong, fit. You’ll have a couple of boys back in NZ but in Australia, it seems like everyone is fit.
“I think just being here in the moment and just how they approach things with their rugby, that’s surprised me.
“You can see the difference between New Zealand and Australian rugby. Here they do a lot of running. They do a lot more running than back in NZ. That’s been a shock to the system.”
Atu Moli in action against the Brumbies at FMG Stadium on February 22, 2020 in Hamilton, New Zealand. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)
Despite still playing in Super Rugby, Moli has effectively ruled himself out of playing for the All Blacks again by signing with the Force because of New Zealand Rugby’s eligibility laws.
Moli said the eligibility rule annoyed him, but added he knew full well that he was foregoing the chance of playing for the All Blacks by heading across the ditch.
“It’s excluded me out of the picture with the ABs, but I knew that coming over here,” he said.
“I’m just keen to play some good footy and show them that I’ve still got it.”
Paulo
Roar Rookie
And England, Scotland, Ireland, Japan. All have international talent bolstering their club competitions. We need to stop with the parochialism (and the wighering).
Dogxn
Roar Rookie
Because ARU and NSWRU have probably done zero development their ever. No they are not allowed to start an academy in N.Z and have zero of their own in Samoa or Tonga and all their players came from the NPC bar 2 from Aus and 1 from a Samoa combine and this year they've got Julian Savea who was unwanted by the Hurricanes and probably the other N.Z sides
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
So if West Sydney has no professional clubs why do you think that is. When none of the sports are putting a team there then that is a red flag to me. My sister lived out that way and the kids have teams they support. I'm sure they would get support out there but we heard for years that if there was a PI team it would get loads in Auckland but it hasn't, I am not sold that changing the venue would suddenly get more fans. Or maybe the issue with MP is the people don't see it as a PI team but a team that is there to get more NZ players professional contracts. Where does it get players from, does it have academies full of the PI communities or are they just picking up people from the NPC.
Dogxn
Roar Rookie
I'm not saying "Sydney" but "West Sydney", pretty much a whole different City altogether. And as I said before there are zero pro rugby teams in "West Sydney". There are also different life experiences in Aus for a o/s P.I player whose already been there done that in little old N.Z (players such as Charlie Piatau, Malakai Fekitoa, Ngani Laumape etc) but may be swayed by the chance to experience said life "down under". Its not even about the $ if you read correctly, its about the fact they are a second rate NZ side with alot of players who hadn't even played SR before the team entered and as such the results have showed. Fiji Drua obviously are a point of difference but they're based in Fiji not Nz so have the best up and coming players at their disposal where as Samoa or Tonga don't have resources to host MP full time. Maybe it would have been better having MP based in Fiji as the lone P.I side but Fiji wanted to go alone which they have proven they are able to do. Another obvious hindrance to a P.I side being based in N.Z is the obvious fact of the pulling power of the All Blacks where as lets face if any of the MP players were in the reckoning for, they would either already be in a N.Z SR side or in Levi Aumua's case they would jump to a N.Z side to get themselves a better shot. Compare that to the state of the Wallabies and majority of Aus SR sides and you'd think atleast a few P.I talent over there would rather play for Aus based MP.
Jacko
Roar Rookie
No thats not exactly true. Aus Govt funds a Fijian sports program. Drua is nothing to do with that but may end up with some generic funding from it. MP is an NZR licence and Drua was also an NZR licence but they sold it to Fiji rugby with a whole lot of clauses around the sale ( they basically gave it to FRU. )
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
Maybe look up the socio-economic situation in parts of Wales. Its easy to say they will support it in Sydney. Same things that hold them back from supporting them in Auckland are still issues in Sydney. MP should lower the price if its a cost issue.
Rugbynutter
Roar Rookie
Oz govt funds lot of Fijian rugby so strong ties. I think Drua and MP in oz makes sense… I actually think if nz looking for growth investing in a side in oz could actually make sense. Lot of kiwi expats but yeh is either or with MP.
Jacko
Roar Rookie
I wish RA would just leave already. This constant dribble just goes forever. I think... toungue in cheek of course.... That MP and Drua will be talked into staying with NZR. Lets face it RA wouldnt want Fiji winning their comp every year. It took Drua till the second year to win the NRC and they have massively improved since then.
Rugbynutter
Roar Rookie
I agree MP could be better in western Sydney…should as you say NZ and oz PI players…maybe play games in western Sydney, Auckland and maybe did game in Samoa and Tonga. Then when we leave super rugby we could have drua and MP in our domestic competition lol.
Rugbynutter
Roar Rookie
It was stop saying I am ignoring the need for oz reform as likewise I can also outline there are other reasons super rugby is flawed and oz rugby reform alone won’t fix it and unrealistic given all variables in play. I now will shut up and go back to my corner.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
You missed the crucial point. The NRL is about double the size it was and vastly richer than in 2000 when there were only 3 Australian teams. Now they could cripple the three teams and there'd be nothing left. And grassroots does not solve this because the players get stolen.
Dogxn
Roar Rookie
That may be so but alot of the P.I population in N.Z arent that well of and with the cost of living becoming increasing high, a second rate pro rugby side obviously isn't alot of bang for buck when you go see the Blues or Warriors for probably the same price and watch a side with top tier talent who actually have a good chance of winning the game. Also you can't comparethe pro sides of Europe to the P.I community of N.Z. Yes Sydney has quite a few pro sports sides, but only one of them is a rugby team and none are Pacific Island side, also Sydney has the similar population to Nz Im sure West Sydney would have more then all of Auckland. It would also probably be more attractive to o/s based P.I players who don't seem to want to move to N.Z to play for M.P
Muzzo
Roar Rookie
Maybe in Australia, but when it comes to parents getting involved back in Aotearoa, with NRL scouts hanging over their kids, then it becomes personal, & that is why some known schools have employed security guards to move them on, especially on a big game day.
JD Kiwi
Roar Rookie
Pretty much everyone in Australian rugby agrees that grassroots is a huge problem that needs sorting, but hey, what do they know? When Australia's grassroots were strong - and they only had two or three state teams - it didn't matter that league took Wally Lewis, Tony Melrose, Tony D'Arcy, Michael O'Connor, Michael Hawker etc from the same Australian Schoolboys team because the remaining players were good enough, well coached enough, in good enough environments and had enough of a cohesion advantage to win multiple Bledisloes and a Grand Slam following near bankrupcy and decades of failure. As things stand, if league are so huge and getting the best players, more teams will just result in even worse players getting pro contracts. You can't get good enough players to fill the teams you have.
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
NRL has a wage budget of twice the SRP. Do they have twice as many players in their squad. If you are talking about League players who are not good enough for NRL then why would they be better at union. Yes the TV deal might be more but you lose the $5-7m that the NZR are paying RA. If we assume that the RA TV deal is 50% international that leaves 15m for SRP. So you go from about 20m down to 15m and if they were to give you 50% more you would be only up to 22.5m or 2.5m more than they have now. Still leaves you short. 10 teams with 40 players each earning only $50k a year would still cost $20m, having a wage bill of $2m would see any good player picked up by any OS team. That doesn’t leave much to keep players on the $100k. Current at $5m the current average SRP wage in Oz is between $125k-150K per player depending on number of squad members.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
I don't think that's much of a factor. Not sure you're the aware of the scale of NRL expansion. It's double the size it was in the 90s. You can have all the grassroots you want but when an NRL scout just turns up to a teenager and offers them a massive contract, it all becomes irrelevant. And you can't offer many places anyway, because there aren't many teams with places to offer...
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
You'd get millions from TV money though because you'd be able to offer double the number of matches, and if the season began a month or six weeks earlier, even more. I'm not sure the NRL players would cost that much, because rugby wouldn't need the more expensive SOO level players. Average NRL players would be more than good enough to strengthen the new teams.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
Of course: this isn't a moral condemnation. It makes perfect sense for them to do so. But it means rugby loses more and more.
Robbo
Roar Rookie
Amy league player that has crossed to union will tell you that training is a much easier ride. Buffet is better though
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
If I were to do it I would do something like the European Super Cup. You tell each of the SRP sides they need to put in team (can be an A side or their SRP team less test players), you then say that there are 3 other spots for anyone who want to put out a team but they must have certain funding in place and ringfenced. You make the money have for the State/Territories without a SRP team. RA then picks the three teams. More can be added every 2-4 years. In The Super Cup you saw a private backer form the heat and bring in players while in spain club rivals got together to form a team. They all compete in a SR Au played Aug - November, two groups of 4, home and away, then you have 1 v 2 and 3 v 4 cross games. Wins of 1 v 2 play in the final, losers in 3rd place match, winners of 3 v4 in 5th place match losers in 7th place match. No extra cost for RA and the 3 new team spend the first 4 years focusing on coming fifth but get to play 2-3 SRP teams to help improve players. SRP teams can then see what players that are not in the SRP setup are ready to step up. If the three teams are all in NSW so be it but they would be private funded. Once that has been going for 4 years RA can see if it is sustainable to run a domestic league, Once Ra walks away from NZ it don't think they can go back in 4 years and get SRP back up so they need to make sure it works.