XI extremely non-bold predictions for Australia’s summer of cricket

Selection debates. Michael Clarke irritating people. The Channel Nine commentary team copping flak. Fast bowlers getting injured. Warnie being Warnie. Pink balls. Shaun Marsh’s never-ending lottery ticket.

It can all only mean one thing. Yes, it must be cricket season.

So what better time to make some extremely predictable predictions for Australia’s summer of cricket?

1. Shaun Marsh will tease with his potential
This is less of a prediction and more of a copy and paste job.

Shaun Marsh will score runs in the first innings of the first Test. Let’s say, 48. He’ll look comfortable. He’ll look stylish. He’ll make scoring look easy. His fans will say he’s arrived. Again.

He will then have a series of poor dismissals in single figures, appearing extremely shaky at the start of his innings, and ultimately get dropped.

Then we’ll do this all again next year after Marsh scores his customary one first-class hundred for the season, despite the fact he is now 33 years of age, which makes him the second-oldest member of the Test team.

2. The ‘Ugly Aussies’ narrative will become a faux big story
A small number of media identities will bemoan Australia’s aggressive attitude, foul language and/or poor behaviour, calling out the team on a number of sledging-related incidents that they’re involved in, and proclaiming that they have betrayed the spirit in which cricket should be played in.

It will then emerge via official ICC reprimands that the touring team(s) will be found to have behaved in a manner as bad – or worse – than Australia.

Previously mentioned media identities will say nothing.

3. Pat Cummins will break down
Ever make a prediction in the hope you’ll be dead wrong? That’s a large part of the motivation here.

I often make bold predictions on The Roar, acutely aware of the knowledge that I’m setting myself up to have egg on my face. Yet never have I wanted to be embarrassed more on a prognostication because Cummins is a great talent with a lovely bowling action.

I enjoy watching him play and feel the frustration he must experience in his body consistently letting him down. Hopefully, this is the summer he stays healthy and plays a lot of cricket.

4. At some point, there will be an extremely embarrassing Test loss by Australia
I expect Australia to perform well on home soil. When the wickets are hard, true, fast and bouncy, the baggy greens are in their element. They can play their shots without fear that a suspect technique will bring them undone.

When the ball swings, seams or spins, Australia’s batsmen are not quite as good.

On a side note, that last sentence is my entry into the ‘understatement of the year’ awards.

For the most part, Australia will have conditions that suit them this summer, but at some point, the batting line-up will crumble. It could be an explosive Dale Steyn spell, facing a moving pink ball at dusk, or looking lost at sea against spin, but the wickets will consistently tumble, resulting in an extremely embarrassing loss.

5. Holly Ferling will replace Ellyse Perry as the face of Australian women’s cricket
OK, ‘replace’ might be a bit of stretch, so shall we settle on ‘join’ instead?

Ferling is just 20 years of age, but the right-arm fast bowler is ready to become a household name due to increased exposure of her talent and skill – which includes a desire to consistently bowl at a pace of 130 kmph.

She’ll undoubtedly be one of the stars of the second instalment of the Women’s Big Bash League, which is ready to build on last year’s success, and she’s already been identified by the corporate world, having signed on to be an ambassador for a big brand like Milo.

Remember the name. If you don’t know her yet, you soon will.

6. Michael Clarke will upset someone
I’m really going out on a limb here and predicting something bold.

However, I think a ‘revelation’ from Michael Clarke’s book will elicit an angry and/or bemused response from an ex-Australian cricketer.

Said cricketer’s account of things will differ greatly from Pup’s, and there will be a ‘war of words’ played out in the media that ends with Clarke saying he respects the other individual involved, but will suggest – without a hint of irony – that it’s time they moved on.

7. An ‘expert’ will pronounce the 50-over format dead
Despite solid ratings and attendance, plus some entertaining and exciting play, someone will say that One Day Internationals should be no longer.

It will conveniently overlook the fact that 50-over cricket remains a financially viable product and a crucial ‘middle child’ between Tests and Twenty20 cricket, but hey, never let the facts get in the way of a rubbish story.

8. Shane Warne will viciously and publicly attack someone, seemingly unprovoked
The key word in this prediction is ‘seemingly’.

It will appear like Warnie simply goes off on a tangent that ends up in a random outburst that bitterly targets someone with some nasty vitriol. However, it won’t be as random as it looks.

Of those that have been on the end of a Warnie spray in recent years – Steve Waugh, Marlon Samuels, John Buchanan, etc – all have had history with the great leg-spinner, who owns a long memory.

Never let it be said that Warne can’t hold a grudge, and no doubt someone else will cop a ‘spontaneous’ blast this summer.

With the South African team out here, I’m wagering it may be his old pal Daryll Cullinan.

9. The Australian XI for the First Test versus South Africa will look very different from the Australian XI for the Third Test versus Pakistan
Through a combination of injury and form, Australia will end the summer of Test cricket looking very differently to how it started it.

The top order is far from settled. The middle order has serious question marks. The all-rounder spot is still up for grabs. Peter Nevill is far from ensconced in the wicket-keeper role. The fast bowling looks under-strength and too reliant upon Mitchell Starc. Spinner Nathan Lyon continues to struggle for recognition of his talents and performances.

Other than that, everything is immensely stable.

10. James Brayshaw will be missed from the Channel Nine commentary team
C’mon, of course he will be. Mainly because the hashtag #brayshawinsights will be redundant, and I for one, will miss it.

11. Glenn Maxwell will throw his wicket away
I must admit, I’ve changed my tune on the man that hates to be called ‘The Big Show’.

I used to think he was an overrated selector’s love affair who brought little to a side other than electric fielding.

However, he’s actually a super-talented individual who shouldn’t be judged by normal standards, because he’s not your normal player.

Though he may never live up to his potential, he’s a match-winner and a crowd-pleaser. And he will most definitely throw his wicket away at some point this season – probably more than once.