Radical plan announced to decriminalise Todd Carney

By Dane Eldridge / Expert

Despite the long-term health risks associated with the move, a proposal to legalise Todd Carney for ‘recreational use’ has been released.

But the announcement has been met with fierce opposition from health groups, who claim Carney remains “a danger to the community” despite his clear dilution in quality and street value.

The former Origin rep has been prohibited from use in recent times, with lawmakers forced into a ban after numerous offences saw him puff-puff-given through a string of disaffected clubs.

But while research has proven sustained use of Carney can have negative long-term effects, the new proposal claims the party-peeing playmaker to now be safer than most prescription thugs currently on the market.

The research also believes he can’t be any worse than other harmful agents recently introduced to the game, such as Matt Lodge and Peter Beattie.

The new policy proposes it be legal to buy and use Carney, but only under strict, ‘responsible use’ guidelines.

This would allow for use only in ‘explicit emergencies’ such as an injury crisis, or when a multi-million dollar all-Queensland halves combination can’t force a repeat set to save themselves.

For the latter reason, the policy is said to have unlikely support from fierce conservative Bob Katter, who believes that even though Carney is a “nut on the jars”, it’s not like “he’s a crocodile tearing a person to pieces once every three months”.

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But health lobbyists remain unconvinced, with many seemingly terrified of Carney’s addictive value and horrific after-effects, plus his patent inability to comply with plain packaging rules.

A detailed rebuttal is already being drafted to the those proposing the policy, which will reportedly hand down recommendations such as they “lay off the grass”.

However, Carney legalisers remain stubborn, pointing to the success of decriminalisation in areas like Colorado, California and Amsterdam, and how he has never recorded a discrepancy in these areas.

They also believe the War on Carney has been an utter failure, with the initiative only serving to shift the issue on to the lucrative European black market, which in turn saw it unfairly forced on to local regional communities.

For those unconvinced, they say Carney’s ten-plus mea culpas should be enough to believe he won’t bring harm again.

The NRL is yet to publicly state its position on the proposal, preferring to remain silent until it seeks advice from its trusted industry specialists, which is mainly talkback.

However, it did confirm it was considering proposals to outlaw Ronnie Palmer’s energy dust and Jackson Hastings.

The Crowd Says:

2018-04-20T05:35:37+00:00

kk

Guest


Dane, Just had NBN connection completed after enduring an anxiety attack lasting 55 hours without access to the internet. The guy from NBN is a Canterbury supporter and a top technician. He resides on the CC, so if any Roarers have problems connecting we are fortunate to have his services.

2018-04-20T02:14:04+00:00

Mushi

Guest


This was top shelf sir. It's the Wally Lewis try over Jack of your portfolio.

2018-04-20T02:13:09+00:00

Mushi

Guest


It's sterile and I like the taste...

2018-04-18T09:09:02+00:00

Big Daddy

Guest


Evidently Greenberg was in Townsville today and didn't meet with Carney but hoped to catch up with him. And said they would learn from the mistakes done with lodge. How ever can you compare the 2 I really don't know. How can you have any confidence in this clown. Sure Carney has made mistakes but no way you can compare the two.

2018-04-18T05:25:16+00:00

BigJ

Roar Guru


Definitely Beattie, at least Carney had the poor arse excuse of being drunk ? when he did his stupid stuff. Beattie was sober, apparently

2018-04-18T02:39:17+00:00

The Sheriff

Guest


Great story and Roarers' posts

2018-04-18T02:30:57+00:00

BigAl

Guest


The former President of India would disagree with you - he drank half a glass of his own urine a day - for health purposes.

2018-04-18T02:23:00+00:00

BigJ

Roar Guru


Dane where do you come up with this garbage. Under the influence of something maybe?????. But seriously one of your best. Nice way to stick it up those greenies you just want to get stoned all day

2018-04-18T01:18:25+00:00

Jacko

Guest


Haha along with those little bags of Bronco's bush. Sydney Heads, Melbourne Mungo etc

2018-04-18T00:34:48+00:00

Big Daddy

Guest


Trouble is Dane the NRL officials whoever they are will fly to Townsville on Monday then take six months to deliberate on their findings as per usual. It appears to me they are trying to find reasons not to register him . I am not sure who is the biggest embarrassment Todd or Peter Beattie.

2018-04-18T00:04:29+00:00

steveng

Roar Rookie


Great article Dane and Ronnie Palmer’s energy dust won’t do nothing to Carney, the bloke might try to drink it and interpret it as something else. But seriously, Todd has to be given ‘his last chance’ the bloke has repented (???) and only time will tell how he will fit into the NRL culture? Judging by what’s been overlooked and forgiven in the NRL, Carney is not the worst, my gut feeling is that Todd will not make the same mistakes again. Once this whole thing is put behind him and Todd is reinstated, he will concentrate on his footy. He’s a great footballer and the Cowboys are a perfect side where Todd is needed (like Pearce at the Knights) and he has a chance of doing really well. The guy I’m sure is a decent bloke and if we can’t ‘forgive and forget’ then we are just as bad if not worst. My opinion is, Todd has to be given another chance but 'only one more chance’!

2018-04-17T23:39:16+00:00

Nat

Roar Guru


One of your best Dane - Bravo.

2018-04-17T23:28:23+00:00

Big Daddy

Guest


No they will have one of those clamps which will activate if taken out of Townsville and only to be taken off on match days. And he is to be transported interstate on con-air.

2018-04-17T22:29:32+00:00

Ben

Roar Guru


Awesome, love it! ??

2018-04-17T22:04:52+00:00

DingoGray

Roar Guru


G'day Dane, Are they going to be really controversial and allow the use of Carney in Goulburn?

2018-04-17T21:55:55+00:00

Paul

Roar Guru


Rumour has it pro-Carney supporters will be meeting on the steps of the Sydney Town Hall during rush hour this Friday afternoon to give out samples to interested passers-by, all the while singing "All we are saying, is give Carney a chance". Police are urging restraint when using Carney and point out it's use is outlawed on trains, buses and taxis.

2018-04-17T21:25:08+00:00

Onside

Guest


I'll leave the Carney conundrum to others ; however, bongs will soon be available in NRL club colours.

2018-04-17T20:22:59+00:00

Diplomatt

Guest


Good work Dane. Not sure of the medicinal benefits of Carney though?

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