Words matter, and this week, Australian cricketer James Faulkner was reminded of just how visible his words are.
On Monday evening, Faulkner shared a post on Instagram where he was photographed with his mum and what has subsequently been revealed to be his roommate.
The caption when it was first shared featured a reference to his “boyfriend” and – for good measure – Faulkner added some love heart emojis in there too.
We know what happened next. Some parts of the media saw the post, made an assumption that this was Faulkner coming out as a gay man, and ran the subsequent.
It was later revealed that it was a misunderstanding of how he used his words, the all-rounder making a statement acknowledging this and praising the support that his post received.
There’s plenty to unpack here.
Let’s start with the media. Some people have accused the journalists that ran this story as not doing their jobs correctly by not checking the facts or confirming the post with another source.
But it did appear clearcut – Faulkner referred to his “boyfriend” and that they had been “together” for five years.
There have been suggestions of double standards, given that women often refer to their female friends as ‘girlfriends’. This is true, but the two situations are not the same.
Words are often given meaning depending on how they are used. I hear females use the word ‘girlfriend’ regularly to describe their relationships with their friends. I rarely hear this word used in the same context by men – the words ‘mate’ and ‘bromance’ are far more common.
The word boyfriend, coupled with the hashtag, looked like a reference to a couple and any journalist that made that jump, did so with reasonable basis (particularly given the number of players, teammates and media personalities who congratulated Faulkner on his ‘bravery’).
This fiasco also reveals just how relevant social media is in the news.
A social media feed is meant to be an insight into the individual, and tweets and photos are often embedded into stories. I wonder how often photos and tweets are verified before inclusion or whether they are often taken at face value.
Perhaps the media did pick this up and run with it quickly, but perhaps the reason is that many Aussies are waiting for a male athlete to identify as gay.
There are very few (if any) professional male athletes who identify as LGBTIQ. Had this story been legitimate, it would have been a watershed moment in Australian sport.
This is an area where the women’s game is miles ahead. Women’s sport celebrates our athletes on and off the field – diversity and inclusivity is something we hold dear. I look forward to a day when men feel as comfortable to be who they are as the female athletes which so many of us idolise.
Please don’t confuse this story with outrage, because I’m not outraged. I am just disappointed that Faulkner lacked the self-awareness to see how many would interpret his post. Our athletes often say they don’t read media or words written about them; perhaps this contributes to a situation where they fail to understand the impact of their words.
James Faulkner (Photo by Morgan Hancock/Action Plus via Getty Images)
Many will argue that this is just another example of political correctness gone mad. Apparently, we live in a world where people can barely say anything at all, lest someone is offended. But just because something doesn’t offend you or may seem trivial to you, does not mean it is trivial for everyone.
My question to the people making this argument is: if you think it was a joke, how it was funny? Even if it was a little bit funny, I’d be keen to understand what about it was.
Even Faulkner is not suggesting it is a joke, merely that that is the way he refers to people, which I find hard to believe.
Over the last couple of weeks, there have been plenty of discussions about the LGBTIQ community, particularly in the wake of comments made on social media by Israel Folau.
According to the Black Dog Institute, LGBTIQ young people are twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental health condition, six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts, and five times more likely to make an attempt on their life than their heterosexual peers.
Our words matter. Let’s try and show empathy for the people around us and consider how they feel before making a joke that may get us a giggle, but then result in a lot of hurt for other people.
The statistics I’ve shared from the Black Dog Institute above make me deeply uncomfortable and sad. I wonder how much throwaway lines, jokes and moments like this contribute to those statistics.
Perhaps, for a moment, Faulkner forgot how many people he reaches with his posts and how much influence he has. It’s unlikely he will forget again.
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
Point taken and it makes sense, however far too many out their lack common sense.
Insult_2_Injury
Roar Rookie
Fair enough, good chatting with you!
Snow John
Guest
Thought I could see a big "VS" shinning up on the clouds. Ah, the good old SJW ranting and raving about who should be offended without seeing if any body actually was. They live in their own little bubble without any real clue about reality, with pseudo qualifications in Gender studies and using their Ouija boar.., sorry, intersectional chart to do the thinking for them. Sorry Mary, this nonevent reflects more poorly on your profession then it does the player in question. There's a reason why Journalist are ranked with Politicians and used Cars salesmen for trust levels, and this piece just confirms it.
Zavjalova
Roar Rookie
You're wrong.
Insult_2_Injury
Roar Rookie
Maybe if you read the responses Ethan, you’ll realise everyone didn’t interpret ‘the wrong way’. Apart from the vast majority who simply didn’t care or thought it was an in joke, the only ones who took it the wrong way were the minority who all too often in Australia now have the media on speed dial to force their agendas regardless of fact or honesty. The media chasing sensationalism and ‘my by line first’ are all too eager to publish, attribute blame elsewhere when wrong and move onto the next muckraking topic in pursuit of grist for the 24/7 media mill. Ironically it’s why more people are looking at electronic feeds rather than traditional media. This disgrace hasn’t won any readers back to the Mainstream.
Insult_2_Injury
Roar Rookie
Feminists aren't interested in equality, they are advancing women at all costs.
Insult_2_Injury
Roar Rookie
Surely the point to this JN is not Faulkner having to be more careful about him talking about his own life in his own way, knowing he's talking in a publicly viewed domain, but for viewers and readers to determine context before THEY make pronouncements publicly and then flay someone because THEY were wrong. Surely with increased social media the lesson has to be that YOU have to be right before you comment. Or at the very least lighten up.
Zavjalova
Roar Rookie
Can’t blame the media for taking that post the wrong way. Everyone would have. Actually, it would have been a great advertisement for the game and the LBGT community if a superstar cricketer werento actually come out as gay.
dan ced
Guest
It's simply a case of warriors for the LGBTI cause suffering from confirmation bias, and people rushing to report something without checking with the source. No fault of Faulkners.
Jacko
Guest
Geezz you have got to love journalists.....they stuff up big time writing a story that is a bunch of porkies and then try to blame the rest of the world for them not doing their job properly.......Mary you do not practice what you preach and IMO you are a hypocrite.....It appears you only want men and women to be equal on the things you decide.......Misunderstanding men seems to be a passtime of yours.....As does constantly attacking other teams instead of writing about your own.......Whatever floats your boat I guess.....
Jacko
Guest
Nah its MARY using a different name so she can be offended twice.....Afterall 2 is better than 1 isnt it?
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Too right he will want to be careful - falling foul of an inflection during this change of seasons can place the wrong slant on your very existence. I see here "our words matter". The problem lies with their words though. One of the most vociferous special interest lobbies has bought the copyright to a couple of dozen ordinary words which one can no longer throw about with gay abandon. You may yet have to obtain prior written approval to the wording, rhyme and meter of a joke that you want to trot out at the pub on Friday night, but even then it seems the Offensive Words Authority is going to want to look into motive and intent, seeking out the sinister - see Mary Konstantopoulos' "Faulkner is not suggesting it is a joke, merely that that is the way he refers to people, which I find hard to believe." The humorless Commissars can rely on assertion alone, without substantiation. "When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less." ... straight out of Alice in Wonderland 150 years ago.
U
Roar Rookie
Faulkner did absolutely nothing wrong. The story is journalists not doing their job and being lazy as a usual by using social media to formulate news. Certain vested interest groups in the media most likely have templates of celebratory think pieces ready to go when there’s any inkling of someone famous “coming out”. They saw Faulkner’s post and went bull at a a gate to start publishing their pieces about it. They neglected to get comment from Faulkner, his mate and Cricket Australia before publication. When it was found out James is actually straight, the journos in question quickly about face and started attacking him to save face
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
Mary K. Got too carried away with my own response to forget to acknowledge the succinct argument of your article. It is an amazingly good write.
Brian
Guest
Sorry Mary, I’m usually on-board with your commentary but this is absurd. I’m not sure quite what you’re arguinging here. He’s clearly being jovial about his relationship with his roommate in a way that displays his complete and utter acceptance of same-sex relationships. It’s not like he’s a huge social media star who is faking a same sex relationship to build a following. It was a very casual, fun post about a mate of his. Bringing up suicide rates in LGTBI teens in this context is honestly way, way worse than anything he posted and I’m disappointed given the generally high standard of your content.
Jonestown PA
Guest
ABC just outsource to AlJazeera if they wanna stitch someone up
Gray-Hand
Roar Rookie
Judging by his ability to spot a joke, I think Ben might be an Australian sports journalist.
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
C'mon Pope Paul. Dishes are a grind.
Con Scortis
Roar Guru
Oh man, I think someone needs a lesson in sarcasm. Old School was obviously being...old school.
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
Faulkner has just got a reminder of something most of us know already... Social media can be a real rattlesnake. It's very one dimensional as a communications forum, no inflection, body language etc to convey a point and we try compress as much thought in as few words as possible which very often leads to misinterpretation. Think he will be a little more careful going forward.