The AFL and its predecessor, the VFL, have always been a rich source of exasperating characters. It would rival politics or a Fox News station.
There are some absolutely legendary irritating players that have played the game at its highest level. Some that have raised my hackles include Mark “I’m an Individual” Jackson, Jason Akermanis and Tony Liberatore.
There was the most annoying coach who developed his most annoying players. Ross Lyon crafted Steven Baker and Steven Milne at St Kilda. He went on to produce Ryan Crowley and his piste de resistance, Hayden Ballantyne at Fremantle.
But this article isn’t about fading feeling of infuriation. It is about current players, ones who cause heartburn, a stick in the craw.
I need to apologise to niggly sniper Tom Lynch, push into the ground post-free Trent Cochin, pinch and punch Stratton and manic Mitch Robinson. They all deserve a paragraph but there is only so much dwelling on annoying people that I can stomach. Must be the lockdown.
Joel Selwood
Joel is a champion. Three premierships and a six-time All Australian player. He has captained the Cats for ten years and played 333 games. He is one of the most courageous players to ever have played. There is rarely a week where he isn’t bloodied.
But some say that he has a cunning plan. Some say he drops his knee into a tackle and raises his arm to slip a tackle high. He does have a good record of receiving frees from high contact – and the umpires are now onto it.
He still does the duck and the arm raise, getting the blow to his head, but just not getting the frees anymore. Still, there are plenty who like to boo, and in fact shout some quite unsavoury things when he is anywhere near the ball. I believe that Selwood is yesterday’s anti-hero. The change in umpiring decisions has dragged him down.
Jack Riewoldt
Jack Riewoldt, what a poster boy for being annoying. Nearing the end of his career, he specialises in jumping on players in the marking contest. A sort of Jack into the pack. The only thing is that he only takes out players and the ball spills free. He doesn’t actually touch it himself.
To top up on this performance, he has developed a vaudeville routine of appealing for a free every time he is in the marking contest. He superbly keeps a straight face. The umpires must bite their lip.
The final trying technique is the invisible hand in the back resulting in falling forward. Opposition backmen are contemplating wearing white gloves so as the umpires can see their hands better.
Jack has been gifted a golden opportunity to annoy the most amount of people. He is a regular on Fox Footy’s AFL 360. Matching his on-field withering looks with spoken hubris does the trick.
“Good luck if you are playing us for the rest of the season.”
And the most annoying thing of all is that Riewoldt still came third in the Coleman.
I don’t think that Jack can claim this crown. He is cheating. Utilising the Edie McGuire technique to increase his irritation. And promptly losing most of his final 2021 games after that outlandish statement – we enjoyed that bit.
Toby Greene
Toby shouldn’t be gracing this article. He has the skills and drive to be a Brownlow Medalist. A Norm Smith-winning premiership captain. But as the prominent satirist Maxwell Smart famously said, “If only he used his evil genius for niceness.”
Some people have said that Steve Johnson has tutored Toby Greene well. He will do anything to get under the skin of opposition players. Provoking a response. Uttering sweet nothings in backmen’s ears.
Toby has developed the art of the nasty hit within play. It could be accidental. But it’s not. He could just be unlucky with the umpires, the MRO and the judiciary. But he is not. He hurts people just because he can. Full studs to the face, eye gouges, hair pulling and general striking to the head or throat.
Even umpires don’t escape his aggression. Matt Stevic was the recipient of his shoulder charge for having the temerity of reversing a free kick against Greene. Then Greene proceeds to claim that he didn’t do anything, he “certainly would never touch him”.
The tribunal called it for what it was: aggressive, demonstrative and disrespectful.
After Greene kicks a goal, from 55 out or a snap from the boundary, rather than jubilantly celebrating, he smiles. He smiles like Tweety Bird saying, “Take that puddy cat.” Oh, that smile.
Yes, Toby Greene has the demeanour, the petty meanness, and the smug looks that truly draw annoyance from most fans. Do you need to be a GWS fan to disagree?
RT
Roar Rookie
He's not the worst Crow.
.kraM
Roar Rookie
Tom Lynch #1
RT
Roar Rookie
He’s up there for me. Mitch Robinson probably the most hated. A few Geelong players. Stagerfield, Selwood for shouting at the umpire every time he doesn’t get a free when tackled (very disrespectful actually) and Hawkins for his ridiculous grin after someone hands him a goal from 5m out. Pendlebury for his hair, no other reason. Many others for their hair. Duursma for his weird name and goal celebrations.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
It’s a gryan shame.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
I'd be annoyed too ... if I knew what that meant
O M
Roar Rookie
Nope, just you... "guest".
Doctor Rotcod
Guest
You're wrong,again Watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B0BBlFchKo
Clear as mud
Guest
Thanks! The younger girls in that team including my daughter (captain) then went on a. Streak the next year and came 3rd in the State. It was the best!
Brent
Guest
That's a really great story, thanks for sharing! :thumbup:
.kraM
Roar Rookie
Surprised there’s not more hate towards Paps. Glad he plays for my team so I love him :stoked:
Yattuzzi
Roar Rookie
No, I don't even watch them. But with Murdoch press he deliberately has outspoken abrasive personalities that people like or hate. Brings in the ratings. I was only using it as a comparative point to the AFL annoying people. Certainly not my emphasis.
Brendon the 1st
Roar Rookie
I have much more recent scars to worry about :laughing:
O M
Roar Rookie
Yep, still carrying the scars! :laughing:
O M
Roar Rookie
"Guest" Rotcod? hmmmmm!
Naughty's Headband
Roar Rookie
Nope. It's just you.
O M
Roar Rookie
Still scarred by 2020 B1?
DingoGray
Roar Guru
How the hell did I forget Tom Papley! YES 100% agree I'll throw Liam Baker name into the mix as well. A face only a mother and Richmond supporters could love.
Chanon
Roar Rookie
Dab you can’t throw mud pies & only come up with one single player Come on cough up :stoked:
George Apps
Roar Rookie
Greene first, daylight second!
Yattuzzi
Roar Rookie
No need to apologise Mr Right. He was a pretty ugly critter and spent his entire time as a tagger.