I would never be so arrogant as to pretend to understand what it is like to be judged, mocked and discriminated against as a gay person in Australian society.
Frankly, where we stand as a country leaves a lot to be desired in terms of eroding stereotypes, accepting all members of our communities unconditionally and reaching a final destination where the, mostly, religious bigotry that still permeates Australia is finally obliterated.
When those folk still holding archaic views on marriage and those refusing to acknowledge the genuine love expressed between people, regardless of their gender, are eventually forced into the bigoted minority and disrespected accordingly, a better country will Australia be.
Sadly, as a nation we appear to still be some distance away from that point.
As a constituent of one of the safest Liberal-National Party seats in Australian federal politics, I am constantly reminded of the distance required to travel for those not adhering to an outdated and traditional view of love, marriage and family.
The so-called ‘honourable’ member for the electorate of Mitchell, Alex Hawke, cheered on via social media when his Mitchell ‘crew’ nabbed a perilously close ‘victory’ in the 2017 marriage equality postal vote.
Mr Hawke acknowledged the overwhelming support of the ‘yes’ vote that saw decades of injustice righted for those people hoping to marry and become legally bound to the partners they had loved in supposed sin for so long. Yet, also took to social media to laud his ‘folk’ for refusing to buckle and achieving an effective ‘no’ result in the north-western Sydney electorate.
I invited him to my house for dinner to discuss the matter and the Federal Government’s stance on asylum seekers. Sadly, it appears there was very little chance of that occurring once he knew where I was coming from.
When Adelaide United’s Josh Cavallo’s statement appeared in my social media feed on Wednesday afternoon, the connection between his sexuality and the microcosm of Australia within which I live brought me to tears.
Instantly, Cavallo’s decision to announce to the Australian and football public that he was a gay man playing at the top level of the game was deemed as courageous, brave and full of fortitude. How sad a nation we are if a person announcing their sexual persuasion as being anything other than the supposed mainstream norm, is deemed to have courage and guts in doing so.
Until such an announcement is unconditionally accepted as natural, human and perfect, the proviso of it being such a courageous thing to announce will never be removed.
Cavallo was emotional, nervous and near broken in his statement. At times he wept and I wept with him.
(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
Thousands before him were never fortunate enough to get to the point where their natural instincts were ever allowed to be aired in such a manner.
Many athletes and people in general remain concerned by the ramifications of their ‘coming out’. They live the endless stress of uncertainty; always fearful that a statement declaring who they are as a person beyond the field of play or their employment situation could well have negative ramifications for them both professionally and personally.
Cavallo and the few that have come before him in men’s professional sport, have cracked a glass ceiling that calls for a sledgehammer to be taken to it in brisk time.
Whilst the Matildas enjoyed an emotional return to Australian shores this week and played a standard of football deserving of the plaudits they received, the sexuality of the squad appeared to have little impact on the emotional investment of the fans who chose to support them.
Everyone knows there are many gay players in the Matildas squad and frankly, few seem to care. Why would they?
Yet, the fact that a 21-year-old man should be reduced to tears and anxiety in 2021, when announcing his sexuality to the football world, is the saddest indictment of just how backward we remain as a society.
Perhaps the only positive to come from the announcement was Cavallo’s obvious emotion when discussing the “immense support” he had received from the broader football community.
Let’s hope he has a ripper season for the Reds, marches onto the field in a wave of applause and support from the home fans in his first appearance and pushes for an Olyroos spot over the next year or so.
But let’s also hope that people stop referring to his decision to announce his sexual preference as brave or courageous. After all, it isn’t.
It is just who Josh Cavallo is.
Stuart Thomas
Expert
Well said Ben and I'd add that the words tolerance and sexuality should never ever feature together. To suggested that I am somehow being intolerant by citing the intolerance of others towards the perfectly natural and beautiful choices of people to love who they wish to is utterly bizarre. One cannot be intolerant in such circumstances, simply, a bigot.
Stuart Thomas
Expert
Frankly, I just don't think you are listening to what is being said. Would be far better off doing this face to face, always clunky when grabs of an argument are shared on a forum such as this. I just don't get what you are suggesting and find it odd. You obviously feel the same way.
Randy
Roar Rookie
Just wait until the AFL has a player that comes out as gay.... it will be sung from the rooftops for weeks. AFL will have liberated homosexuals across the globe. History will be rewritten to wipe Ian Roberts and Josh Cavallo wiped from the record books....
Popavalium Andropoff
Guest
It's funny isn't it? In the women's game players who are LGBTQIA seem to be de riguer, eg Sam Kerr/Megan Rapinoe/Jodie Taylor/Vivianne Miedema etc. In the men's game Josh Cavallo is reportedly the only non heterosexual player playing at professional level anywhere in the world.
Anthony Ferguson
Guest
Great article, Stuart. I have nothing more to add to the many positive sentiments expressed here.
Marcel
Guest
HaHa....Touche!.....It must make for some fascinating family dinners! You too..the new season is just around the corner now !
Ben of Phnom Penh
Roar Guru
Well, you’re not the only one. Societies don’t rely on moral absolutes, but on agreed compromises of varying strengths. Hence a moral normative is agreed upon which changes over time. Anyway, fun chatting. Enjoy the weekend.
Marcel
Guest
Certainly...and that's why the moral high ground is such a precarious position to take. It relies on the adherence to absolutes that are untenable in the real world. Who is to say there isn't a tribe in the Amazon that considers kicking cats to be a form of worship...and who decides that we are right and they are wrong? BTW...as you are fond of semantics..."complete tolerance" is a qualified absolute....which goes to the heart of my point...Tolerance, virtue, morality are not qualities that can be modulated...particularly so if they are being used as a basis for condemning others. I don't mean this as an attack on Stu, but as you've demonstrated , invoking a moral dimension to any argument is a fundamentally flawed and politically biased position...a bias that simply masquerades as an immutable truth. Cheers...nice chat...It might help to know that Iv'e lived with a Buddhist for 20 yrs so my radar is tuned into this frequency a little more than most.
Ben of Phnom Penh
Roar Guru
Yes, but society has structured prejudices. For example society has no tolerance for people who kick kittens. These structural prejudices are often codified in law, for example animal cruelty laws. For there to be complete tolerance would mean no rules, which would be pure anarchy.
Marcel
Guest
Tolerance, that is only applied selectively.....is really just a different type of prejudice
stu
Guest
Peter, I am intrigued by your statement. Can you expand on how you come to that conclusion. Cheers
Ben of Phnom Penh
Roar Guru
Ah, philosophy! But you are posing a paradox, Marcel, which is a semantic paradox as opposed to logical. The issue is with the term “tolerance”. Stuart appears to claim he is using the term when discussing reactions to another’s sexuality whereas you are claiming the term refers to reactions to a persons’ social views on said subject. Hence you are creating a paradox where none exists. Unless of course Stuart is calling for tolerance on a holistic level in which case it would be a matter of hypocrisy.
Peter Anderson
Guest
China is a military dictatorship. Nothing to do with communism.
Peter Anderson
Guest
Be a fantastic day when this is NOT a story. Frankly, I don't care (or care to know) about the sexual preferences of ANY public figures, be that sportspeople, politicians, journalists, or any one else. It's nobodies business but theirs, and I hope will NEVER be seen as a necessary discussion again. Same applies to woman's appearances. For God's sake when will we grow up and realise that what's inside a person is far more important than what's outside.
Grem
Roar Rookie
And hopefully we've come a long way since then. After very bravely coming out he was abused and bashed by spectators during a game. Let's hope Josh receives absolute support from football supporters and is treated with the respect he deserves.
Marcel
Guest
I didn't say that at all... school boy level rhetoric Stuart...that's beneath you. You keep making these platitudinous statements about respect for all, without exception or condition...but then you make it equally clear that certain individuals are not deserving of this... Yes that's a form of hate.
Stuart Thomas
Expert
You're calling me a hater? Wow. Sorry for calling out people who disrespect and detest others.
Stuart Thomas
Expert
So you are against acceptance of ALL human beings regardless of sexual orientation? How is this even a discussion?
c
Roar Rookie
the only positive ???? stuart there are lots of positives
Buddy
Roar Rookie
There isn't really all that much you can say on the subject that either hasn't been said or thought but I was trying to move the scenario to a different level and think about going to a game. I cannot remember ever going to watch a game of football, men, women or children and thinking anything about the talent, or lack of on display. Imagine as the teams come out - he's gay, he's straight, he's bi, he's bi curious, he's trans, he's intersexual, he's androgynous etc ...........same applies for female football. If I have visitors accompanying me, I tend to point out players that they might keep an eye on for something like dribbling skills or pace, or over zealous tackles and I confess I have taken a few female friends along and they have been interested in "eye candy" and its always fun to see if we come up with the same players!