Big boppers and brilliant backs: Rugby league’s alliterative XIII

I was listening to Roar Guru Julian King host the SEN 1170 lunchtime show earlier this week.

One of the topics of the day was “great Rugby League names”. Obviously, I put in a bid for Zbigniew ‘Ziggy’ Niszczot. But as the suggestions came in, I was struck by how many suggestions were alliterations.

So, of course it got me wondering what sort of team I could put together made up of players with alliterative names. The best XIII I could come up with (with a lot of help from the good folk at Rugby League Project).

Fullback: Clive Churchill
Appropriately, the first player picked is “The Little Master”. He was the original Immortal, he has a stand named after him at the Sydney Cricket Ground, and of course, the Medal for the best player in the NRL Grand Final each year is named after him.

Wing: Brian Bevan
The greatest try scorer in senior rugby league history was an easy choice on one wing. He only played a few games for Easts during World War II and didn’t actually score a try.

However, a move to the north of England post war signalled the real start of a legendary career. He played 620 games for Warrington over 15 seasons and crossed for an astonishing 740 tries.

He then played a couple more seasons with Blackpool for about 17 tries. Yep, that’s 670 top grade rugby league games with 757 tries.

Centre: Mal Meninga (c)
My first memory of top grade rugby league was seeing a 20 year old Meninga carve up the Brisbane Rugby League competition for the Souths Magpies. Little did I know that that skinny guy with the massive eyebrows would become one of the greatest and most admired players (and coaches) of all time.

There are too many awards and achievements to list, suffice to say the term “Immortal” sits very comfortably on his massive shoulders.

Centre: Tom Trbojevic
At this stage of his career, Tommy Turbo doesn’t beat Churchill to the full back spot. But my goodness, another half a decade of performances like he produced in 2021 could well see him take that spot.

Possibly the single most valuable player in modern day rugby league. Tommy’s exploits at centre in representative games get him in the side ahead of Mark “Sparkles/Hammer” McGaw.

Wing: Harold Horder
I’ve gone back to the very early days for the second wing spot. But with 152 tries in 139 matches, Horder is an easy choice for this team.

His single greatest achievement is surely being the key player in North Sydney’s only two premierships in 1921 and 1922. Horder gets in ahead of Noa Nadruku and Timana Tahu.

Halfback: Cooper Cronk
372 first grade games, another 70 representative games, 9 NRL grand finals, Two Dally M Medals, Clive Churchill Medallist, Golden Boot Winner and five time Dally M Halfback of the Year. Cronk just scrapes in ahead of Tulsen Tollett.

Five Eighth: Michael Morgan
Sadly, chronic injuries meant that Michael Morgan had to retire at the age of 29. But for a few years, he was up the elite handful of players in the game.

That was never more apparent than his incredible play in the 2017 Finals where he took the 8th place, Jonathan Thurston-less, Cowboys all the way to the Grand Final.

He even managed to pick up the Dally M Halfback of the Year that year, filling in for Thurston.

Lock: Luke Lewis
I had a bit to say about Lewis in a Roar article I did about my most admired enemy players.

Those comments still stand and as a former Dally M Lock of the Year and having played multiple representative games there, this was an easy choice.

Second Row: Josh Jackson
Just the second current player in the team, Jackson is a tough as nails second rower for the Bulldogs who is a multiple Dally M Second Rower of the year winner. He was also NSW’s Brad Fittler Medal winner for his outstanding 2016 State of Origin Series.

Josh Jackson and the Dogs. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

Second Row: Chris Close
The sheer lack of alternatives in the forwards meant that I’ve cheated a bit and taken late career Gold Coast Seagulls era “Choppy” for this team. Of course, he is best known for being a rampaging centre and as a 21 year old, winning the Man of the Match in the first ever Origin game.

Post his playing career, he is usually found at the back of the Queensland State of Origin coaching box. Close just edges out Scott Sattler.

Prop: Geoff Gerard
“Gethro” was another tough forward who was the first to play over 300 first grade games.

While that is common place these days, Gerard did it in the brutal years of the ‘70s and ‘80s, with real scrums and no interchange. He was also good enough to with Rugby League Week player of the year in 1978.

Hooker: Ken Kearney
With a nickname of “Killer” Kearney is yet a another in the team with a triple alliteration. The legendary Dragons hooker was the captain for six of the Dragons’ 11 Premierships including five as Captain Coach. He also played 31 Tests for Australia.

Oh, and for good measure, he played 7 matches for the Wallabies before switching to League.

Prop: Barry Beath
We finish with another Dragon in Barry Beath. His 198th and final game for the Dragons was the 1977 Grand Final replay.

More recently, on ANZAC Day 1999, Beath came to the defence of a St George fan whose jersey was torn up by then Sharks CEO Peter Gow in the Cronulla Leagues Club. Gow had to resign from his role having thrown a punch at Beath.

To recap, the full team:

FB: Clive Churchill
W: Brian Bevan
C: Mal Meninga (c )
C: Tom Trbojevic
W: Harold Horder
1/2: Cooper Cronk
5/8: Michael Morgan
L: Luke Lewis
2nd: Josh Jackson
2nd: Chris Close
P: Geoff Gerard
H: Ken Kearney
P: Barry Beath

So Roarers, what do you think? And have I left out anyone obvious?