How the media got this Ashes series completely wrong

The media has got this series completely wrong.

There appears to have been an assumption made by the media some weeks ago, especially the English media, that this would be a competitive series.

I’m guessing this was based on a range of factors. The ICC rankings showed a split hair between England and Australia, England had been playing a gazillion Test matches in recent times and Australia had not, England had been in the middle of a very close series against India, and they had a squad led by the best Test batsman in world cricket, who’d spent the past three years developing a cunning plan to win the Ashes.

(Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images)

These are all valid points but fail to acknowledge a simple truth. The England squad, individually and collectively, was not and is not good enough to compete, on equal terms, with this Australian squad in Australian conditions.

Sure, they’ve had great moments and have won the odd session, but overall, Australia are a superior unit this summer.

All manner of reasons can be offered for this and I’m sure there are elements of truth in most of these, but the simple fact is the media expecting England to either draw or win this series got it wrong.

There was about as much chance of that happening as Carlton or the Wests Tigers winning the 2022 AFL or NRL premierships.

Pat Cummins is his own man. In his second Test as captain he won the toss and put the opposition into bat. My first thought was ‘what a brave call’.

Granted, the pitch had a nice, green tinge, as opposed to the straw colour we’re used to at the MCG, but it was still a drop-in pitch, which has been pretty good for batting.

(Photo by Darrian Traynor – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

His call was made to look even braver, given the batting conditions the Australian openers faced in the last session on Day 1.

For most of the first 15 overs, the score was rattling along at better than four an over. Even Nathan Lyon seemed untroubled. The final result proved what a good call that was by Cummins.

I don’t get the no-balls. In the first innings, Ollie Robinson had already delivered more no-balls (two) in his first six overs than Australia bowled in both England innings.

It’s already cost England two wickets in this series and in the modern era, these simply shouldn’t happen, especially from guys bowling barely above medium pace.

What’s with the English media? I just don’t get how badly they pile onto their team, individually and collectively.

Case in point, the last hour of play on the second day. I don’t think there’s a batting side in the world that could have done much about that last hour of bowling.

(Photo by Daniel Pockett – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

Every once in a while, Australian attacks get their tails up and carnage can result. Remember this from a few decades ago?

Zak Crawley and Haseeb Hameed did virtually nothing wrong defensively, yet got out to outstanding deliveries, while Dawid Malan was beaten by pace.

Jack Leach, a guy who’d probably bat 12 in the Aussie line-up, got out to one that seamed back and hit the outside of off stump. That’s seriously hard to play, just quietly.

The pile-on will no doubt become even more strident after the final day’s play but again, this was a case of two bowlers (and Cameron Green) using their skill sets to put the England batsmen under huge pressure.

Playing an accurate Mitchell Starc bowling at 90 miles per hour plus must be a nightmare and Scott Boland lived up to his pre-match billing.

While England’s batting was poor, Australia’s batting was not a lot better. Don’t forget, Australia were 8-219.

(Photo by Darrian Traynor – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

David Warner made runs in the opening period when England, once again, bowled way too short. But as soon as the ball was pitched up, he was gone, a la the Ashes in 2019.

Marcus Harris looked sketchy, especially after lunch on Day 2 when he simply couldn’t rotate the strike. He should have been out stumped and could have been out way more cheaply with lots of plays and misses.

Marnus Labuschagne failed. He got a good one early on – it happens.

Steve Smith’s head is not in the game, at least with the bat. That was a really poor shot to get out, as was the one Travis Head played. The last time Head did that in a Test, it cost him his spot.

Green’s getting his technique worked over and right now, he is coming up short. He needs specialist coaching from Ricky Ponting.

Alex Carey looked composed then got out. He’ll be better over the coming matches.

His counterpart won’t be. Jos Buttler is not in a good place mentally. He can’t be.

(Photo by Mark Brake – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

That first innings ‘get out’ shot and the look of dejection as he trudged off reminded me a lot of Jonathan Trott from 2013, who then headed home.

Buttler is the victim of an English policy to pick batsman-keepers. That he missed that stumping off Harris was not the issue. That his foot work was so poor he could barely get glove on ball shows he’s simply a good Test backstop, not a good Test keeper.

It wasn’t wrong to bowl Jack Leach after lunch on Day 2 – what was wrong was to ask Leach to bowl on a middle- and leg-stump line against two set left-handers on a pitch offering plenty of turn.

England needed to take wickets, yet Leach’s bowling was purely defensive. Even still he should have had Harris stumped, or maybe run out, he was so far out of his ground.

Leach the batsman did himself no favours – in his retirement years, Leach will be able to dine out on the time he hit the GOAT for six on Boxing Day and the MCG.

Presumably that ability so impressed his captain and coach, they decided he should be the nightwatchman after Dawid Malan was dismissed. Two balls later, he had another retirement anecdote – the time he shouldered arms to an absolute beauty from Scott Boland.

Where to for Australia for the rest of the series? I was going to do one for England as well, but they’re going to keep struggling with the touring party they have.

I’d have Ben Foakes in for Jos Buttler, Saqib Mahmood in to bowl fast, Matt Parkinson in for Leach and Josh Bohannon in for anyone in England’s middle order.

(Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

As it is, none of these guys are likely to be available because only Mahmood’s in Australia, so England are stuck with what they’ve got.

For Australia, the batting is still a worry. Harris, Smith, Green and Carey all need to make runs because all have failed to fully deliver this series.

This is not about making so-called meaningless runs in dead rubbers, this about building confidence for some tough overseas tours ahead.

I’d also play Nathan Lyon at home in Sydney, then rest him for the Tassie Test. If the pitch in Hobart warrants, I’d play four quicks plus Green or give Mitch Swepson a chance to show what he can do.

The GOAT will have plenty of bowling to do in the coming months.

(Photo by Albert Perez – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images

Is this England’s nadir? Steve Harmison made the interesting comment that England’s Test team is in a worse place than their white-ball side was after their failure at the 2015 World Cup.

That failure prompted a complete review of both ODI and T20 cricket and the results have been obvious in recent years.

Moeen Ali felt there were a number of issues within the side had been papered over, which suggests a complete review is needed for England’s red-ball programme.

It was great to see Paul Reiffel umpiring a Test at the MCG. This has to be one of those occasions that will live with ‘Pistol’ for the rest of his life.

No doubt the same will apply when Rod Tucker steps onto Blundstone Arena for the fifth Test in a few weeks.

Finally, a damning statistic: a Fox Sports article had the following paragraph;

“Since January 2019 Starc averages 35.54 with the bat, which is higher than England’s entire top seven bar Root: Rory Burns (31.52), Ollie Pope (30.93), Jos Buttler (28.65), Zak Crawley (27.74), Jonny Bairstow (21.81) and Haseeb Hameed (19.80).”

That can’t be good for English Test cricket.