The Liebke Report Card: Brain fried-umps, DRS chaos, Steve Smith's butter fingers and big bat ears

By Dan Liebke / Expert

The third Test between Pakistan and Australia was won by the visitors, securing them the truly enormous Benaud-Qadir trophy. The BQT is approximately a thousand times as big as the Ashes urn and hence a thousand times as important. Congratulations to Pat Cummins and his team. 

Here’s the report card for the third Test.

Fried Umpire Brains
Grade: B-

Cummins won the toss and immediately elected to bat. Australia made 391 with perhaps the highlight of the innings being Alex Carey surviving a decision from umpire Aleem Dar, when he was given out to either an LBW that didn’t hit his pad or a caught behind that didn’t carry to the keeper.

It turned out that – much like in the Ashes, when Ben Stokes was given out off the bowling of Cameron Green – the ball had hit the stump, but not dislodged the bail. 

Dar’s original decision was presumably LBW. But then when Carey reviewed, Dar consulted with the square leg umpire and gave a soft signal of out. Which suggested that he, in fact, didn’t think it was an LBW, because those have the grown-up version of soft signals, the umpire’s call. But if it wasn’t LBW, that meant that both umpires hadn’t noticed a ball bouncing well in front of the keeper. And, in fact, were sufficiently confident that it had reached his gloves for the out soft signal. It was only on replay that it was discovered the ball had missed everything other than the stump and the decision was overturned.

To be fair, the corresponding moment in the Ashes had also resulted in a decision that made no sense when worked through carefully. We must therefore assume that a ball hitting the stumps but not dislodging the bails completely fries umpires’ brains.

Fair enough too.

Bails, you have one job.

Fruitless Toiling
Grade: D-

For the early parts of Pakistan’s reply, Australia toiled fruitlessly. Oh, sure, regular edges would fly between Smith and Carey, prompting multiple ignored calls for a halfth slip to be put in. But that was about it.

Much as they’d done all series, Pakistan continued to bat serenely on, as the commentators desperately clung to hope that things might change any moment now.

“Is that ball reversing?”
“I think there’s a little bit of reverse there.”
“Just a touch of reverse, which you’d expect around about now.”
“Maybe some reverse on that delivery.”

The search for barely detectable reverse swing has become my favourite part of Test cricket.

Being In Complete Control Of One’s Own Movement
Grade: C+

And then suddenly the barely detectable reverse swing became wholly detectable, the fruitless toiling became fruitful and the serene Pakistan batting became vastly less so.

Starc castled Fawad Alam. Cummins did the same to Sajid Khan. And then the tail crumbled as Pakistan lost 7/20 to collapse to 268 all out.

But the most spectacular dismissal was Azhar Ali, caught and bowled by a tumbling Cummins, who flung the ball away in such swift celebration that it opened the debate for whether the catch should have been allowed.

For while Cummins was in control of the ball, the Law also states that:

The act of making a catch shall start from the time when the ball first comes into contact with a fielder’s person and shall end when a fielder obtains complete control over both the ball and his/her own movement.

Was Cummins in complete control of his own movement when he tossed the ball away?

Perhaps not. But then, on a cosmic level, are any of us ever in complete control of our own movement? Or are we just subject to the whims of the universe’s gravitational pull?

Something for the lawmakers to ponder.

Being Fastest To 8000 Test Runs
Grade: D

Australia’s 123-run first innings lead gave Cummins an opening to perhaps handsomely declare and win the Test and the series. But it also gave the tricky Pakistan side an opening too, for they had their own counter-declaration tactics.

Pakistan’s plan seemed to be to drop any chance that came their way. Or, if they didn’t drop them, not appeal for them. Or, if the batter was out in some other fashion, to have the bowler no ball the delivery.

After all, Cummins is still an inexperienced captain. Amid all the chaos, he might simply forget to declare. Worth a try for sure.

Also, Pakistan could further distract Cummins by allowing Steve Smith to become the fastest person to 8000 Test runs, beating Kumar Sangakarra by one innings. The hullabaloo over his vice captain’s historic feat would surely take Cummins’ mind off any declaration. 

But Cummins wasn’t impressed by Smith’s achievement. He knew perfectly well that Bradman, the silly old show-off, had such a buffer that if he’d batted another 70 times in Tests and scored a mere 15 runs each time, The Don would have beaten Smith to 8000 by three innings.

Embarrassing in retrospect that Bradman lacked the killer instinct needed to claim all these records that were so easily within his doddering grasp.

Burning Reviews
Grade: A-

Cummins eventually declared with a 350 run lead, giving Australia almost four sessions to bowl Pakistan out for a 1-0 series win.

Sensibly, they set about burning reviews as quickly as possible, just as they’d done in the first innings.

This is next level thinking from the Australians. The last thing you need on the final day of a Test is to be wasting valuable mental energy constantly trying to decide whether to send decisions upstairs. No. Get rid of them all and focus on the job at hand.

As proof of how reviews can distort a team’s mind, the final day saw Pakistan review a Fawad Alam LBW that was definitely out and then almost immediately not review a Mohammad Rizwan one that was definitely not out. 

Further review frustration came for Pakistan when Smith at first slip heard what must surely have been the faintest edge of all time from Azhar Ali’s bat. Even the UltraEdge could barely detect it but somehow Smith was confident. Does the ICC need to clamp down on Steve Smith’s big bat ears? Common sense says yes. 

Nevertheless, the various reviews and non-reviews opened the door for Nathan Lyon to take a five wicket haul to secure the win. The key wicket for Lyon came in the final session of the series when Smith moved quicky to his left to dismiss Pakistan’s last recognised batter, captain Babar Azam. 

Disappointing for Smith, who until that point was on track to be the fastest to 8000 dropped chances.

The Crowd Says:

2022-03-29T13:19:06+00:00

Curmudgeon1961

Guest


That comparison left a bad taste

2022-03-27T09:55:00+00:00

Micko

Guest


Smart advice by Shane Warne to advise the rest of the team to stand their ground when batting. Gibbs was well known for his quirky catching technique, and Warne was cunning enough to realise it might not constitute a "catch" under the letter of the law.

2022-03-27T07:24:15+00:00

Tim Carter

Roar Pro


I think he was a covid sub in last season's BBL.

2022-03-27T05:59:20+00:00

Tony

Roar Guru


Who did Parmenides play for?

2022-03-27T03:14:35+00:00

WINSTON

Roar Rookie


Ask Herschelle Gibbs about a catch is a catch. Reference ICC CWC in England against Australia

2022-03-27T01:26:39+00:00

Cam

Roar Rookie


Smith finally takes a catch and Cummins wouldn't review it, too funny. Seriously, would he have put down 10 catches in the series? It seemed like 2 or 3 each innings.

2022-03-27T00:53:25+00:00

Choppy Zezers

Roar Rookie


"prompting multiple ignored calls for a halfth slip". Oh that will do me. :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

2022-03-26T12:13:25+00:00

Redcap

Roar Guru


I think Red Dwarf (in particular, Arnold Rimmer) contemplated that. :happy:

2022-03-26T12:10:16+00:00

DaveJ

Roar Rookie


If it was just my imagination, why did I score so few centuries in my career? I bet Adams never thought about that one.

2022-03-26T05:11:10+00:00

Just Nuisance

Roar Rookie


Balls hitting stumps and not dislodging bails fries my bean too :stoked: Here’s another brain fry . Steve Smith is actually human after all :shocked: . Drops a catch oh my goodness . Doesn’t get to the mandatory (apparently) 100 runs . Over the hill . Past it ….retire the poor fellow before further damage can be done . Not sure who got man of the series , surely Khawaja .. definitely not any of the groundsmen . Biggest disappointment for me this tour was Pakistan not backing or believing in themselves . They’ve got some real fine young players but from ball 1 seemed hell bent on just avoiding defeat . Australia 200% deserved winners . Only team who showed positive intent and that deserves reward . Scoundrels of the series …The vuvuzela blowers . There’s never a good place for this noise pollution. I can live with even enjoy The brass band in Port Elizabeth despite their lack of repertoire but this ? Reminds me of my neighbours juvenile son wheel spinning his car down the road whilst looking around for approval from us . Reality just not in his orbit . And Marcus , you really are Australian , they love you . No need to have to prove it .

2022-03-26T05:08:44+00:00

Redcap

Roar Guru


:laughing:

2022-03-26T05:03:27+00:00

Tim Carter

Roar Pro


That explains Colin Miller

2022-03-26T04:39:22+00:00

Redcap

Roar Guru


Douglas Adams concurred, noting that the combined population of the galaxy is zero. Any life forms you meet, or happen to observe playing cricket, are merely products of your imagination.

2022-03-26T04:26:59+00:00

Tim Carter

Roar Pro


Parmenides argued that none of us exist, so how can we even conceive of Cummins having control of his movements? Certainly, this kind of philosophical paradox wouldn’t have come up if Langer had been backed by the playing squad.

2022-03-26T04:09:15+00:00

Red Rob

Roar Rookie


As Billy Bragg teaches us, the laws of gravity are very, very strict. I'll say it - they're not lam-makers. They're law-deniers.

2022-03-26T01:48:05+00:00

Redcap

Roar Guru


"on a cosmic level, are any of us ever in complete control of our own movement? Or are we just subject to the whims of the universe’s gravitational pull? Something for the lawmakers to ponder." Agreed - it's something lawmakers have been neglecting for far too long. :happy:

2022-03-26T00:42:41+00:00

DaveJ

Roar Rookie


Very good observation about the universal pull of gravity. I have a feeling that the Heisenberg principle means we could theoretically all be in two places at once or maybe nowhere at all or just spontaneously combust in a nuclear chain reaction, but I was away the day they did science at school. Actually, the phrase “when a fielder obtains complete control over..his/her own movement” seems pretty meaningless, unless it means stopping still – or not having jelly legs or a nervous spasm and being unable to control the next movement you make. I’d have to say Pat was fully in control of his leap and dive and where he might end up……………………………………….. ……………………….. ……………………….. ……………………….. ……………………….. ……………………….………………..… There was some weird stuff with the umpiring, even if the Pakistani umps were pretty good overall. The decision to give Azhar Ali out was really dumb, but we’ve seen this sort of thing before. How two flickers of the Snicko line can override an umpire’s not out decision makes no sense. But for the batsman, you can’t complain too much if you played a poor shot and missed. ….. I wonder how many series there have been where the losing team had four batsmen averaging over 60 and the winning team had only one bowler averaging under 34 (guess who)? If Cummins gets 3 wickets in his next Test, he will be equal ninth on the list of bowlers to reach 200 wickets in the fewest Tests, equal with Marshall, Warne, Donald and Muralitharan! The weird thing is that no. 1 on the list is Yasir Shah – 200 wickets in 33 matches- who couldn’t get a game in this series. Yasir probably also holds the record for the spinner with the worst record ever in Australia, SA and NZ – averages of 89, 123 and 65!

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