As an official ‘fan with keyboard’, it’s now my duty to give the sort of preview Eddie Jones wants you to think the New Zealand media put out before each Test match. So here goes:
The All Blacks will smash the Wallabies at the Melbourne Cricket Ground this Saturday, in front of a massive crowd that will be in awe of just how amazing New Zealanders are at rugby. Nobody believes the All Blacks can lose, especially after last year’s corresponding match in Melbourne where the most controversial part was the referee letting the Wallabies back into the game in the second half.
This is, of course, all building to what will no doubt be a triumphant World Cup campaign for the All Blacks, who are on track to take back the trophy in a final cruelly denied to them four years ago by the devious Jones’ England side.
OK, you get the picture. While some of that sentiment definitely exists in New Zealand, mostly confined to areas where glue-sniffing is still highly prevalent, what Jones wants to you to believe about All Black fans and the media certainly doesn’t reflect reality.
(Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images)
He came in to Thursday’s press conference with somewhat of a subdued demeanour at first, but it didn’t take him long to fire up and get the room leaning forward to hang on his every word.
“There’s nothing better than winning against New Zealand because you feel the country sinking, right?” he said.
“It’s not just rugby that sinks, the country sinks. The whole economy goes down. The Prime Minister is there with his fingers crossed, hoping the All Blacks win, because he knows the economy is going to drop if they lose. So, we can have that effect.”
Again, that’s a bit of a stretch. It is an election year in New Zealand and if there is a change of government, it’ll happen whether the All Blacks bomb out or not. But you have to give it Eddie, it’s a good line.
So, what is the real feeling around Bledisloe I? If the All Blacks do get off to a fast start, it’s hard to see the Wallabies keeping up with them, even though they almost managed to do just that this time last year. The two wins that Foster’s men have recorded so far this year may as well have been logged after the first 20 minutes of each game, but that doesn’t mean they are flawless.
The Springboks successfully managed to score a lineout drive try against them two weeks ago, something that flew under the radar a little bit after the impressive opening blitz of possession and territory. While it never really felt like the Boks were within reach, it did show a potential vulnerability if a game could be stripped back to an arm wrestle up front.
We don’t associate Wallaby sides with that sort of play, at least not against the All Blacks, but it’s never a bad time to start trying. But while it’s easier said than done, simply denying the All Blacks the ball is the best way to achieve what Ireland did last year.
Looking at the history, it is tempting to think that the Wallabies are capable of an upset simply because they have done it in the last three World Cup seasons. But the other, probably more compelling history is that while Ian Foster has copped a ton of grief for the All Blacks’ results in his tenure, his record against the Wallabies is very good. Seven wins, a draw and a loss, with one of those being a record margin of victory.
Jones made sure he pointed out his all-time record against the All Blacks, at six wins and seven losses and a draw with the Wallabies and England he is the most successful coach in the pro era in that regard.
Of course, if you are going to put money on it, the most recent results are what matters. The All Blacks have been good, the Wallabies haven’t. Two teams heading in different directions, which could be made even more apparent if the All Blacks get off to another fast start at the MCG.
One thing is for sure though: there will be the largest crowd to watch a rugby union match in Australia for a decade and a half when the teams run out on Saturday night. Jones, switching effortlessly to promoter mode when he wasn’t being a shit-stirrer, made sure we knew that by mentioning it no less than six times.
The Neutral View From Sweden
Roar Guru
Poor Old Old Bugger You seem to forget that AB should have a least another red card in that second Test (Leicester going air-borne on Matt Hansen, remember?) and also were allowed to bring Ardie on the field when it was not allowed. Oh, and a dead-certain penalty try was not awarded for Ireland too. And what can I say about Brodie, maybe he's got soft cheekbones. At the end of the day, the ref got it right. It was not a red card. End of story. To me, the Boks look four years older and slower and I certainly think that ABs have a better chance against them than France and Ireland at the moment.
Farthing
Roar Rookie
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Jacko
Roar Rookie
TOAD.... Sorta has a earthly ring to it. Dictionary says... toad noun [C] (MAN) informal an extremely unpleasant man, especially one who is not very physically attractive: I make no claims Ken.
Ken Catchpole's Other Leg
Roar Guru
That’s uncalled for Jacko. Our coach may be a toad, but if so, he’s OUR toad. And we’ll be the ones to put such tags on him, or not, thank you.
Ken Catchpole's Other Leg
Roar Guru
And the barman said, ‘Sir, if you think that toad is pretty, don’t drive’
Rocky's Rules
Roar Rookie
@Jamie As I'm a WB first, AB second, fan I'm a winner tonight no matter who wins. I'm in Queenstown atm and the differences between media,and fan, attitudes to Rugby Tests between the 2 countries has once again defined itself.... While the NZ media, and fans, are rightly concerned with game tactics and the player assets and weaknesses of both teams, in Australia the focus is on what Eddie said in interviews. This pre-occupation with personality trivialities v the substance of winning is a major reason why there's such a huge Rugby gulf between our 2 countries. Eddie is an old mate of mine from Randwick. He was always a cheeky bloke and loves winding up the media with throwaway lines he doesn't beleive himself. With his players though he's 100% serious substance. If ABs play as well as they did against the Boks 2 weeks ago they'll win by more than 50 points tonight. If they only win by 20 the focus in NZ will be on the mechanics of improving. And the aussie media will continue with their pre-occupation with Eddie's throwaway lines....
Old Bugger
Roar Rookie
And, I don't think you remember correctly either....the 2nd Irish test involved a RC on Taa'vao's head-clash hence, 14 ABs v 15 Irish. However, a very similar incident in the 3rd test which got Guzzler a broken cheek-bone, goes unnoticed by Barnes who deems it, to be some new ruling called "absorption" or something strangely similar. WTF, is that law interpretation??? I mean, a head clash is a head clash with a broken cheek-bone injury, to the ball carrier - same incident as Taavao's clash and yet the ABs lose a player to a card in one test then in the next test, they lose a player to an injury and everyone's waiting for a similar RC response, to the Irish player. Ummmm, Barnesy must've left his cards, in the change-room. What is poor style, is to conveniently forget what incidents occurred and IMO affected, the two test wins in NZ. Oh and btw, isn't Ireland the current 6N champions or am I doing France, an injustice?? It doesn't matter though cos, if there ever was a coach renowned for doing in-depth reviews of the opposition, then Joe Schmidt would be the "go-to" person for such a review, of Ireland's tactical plans. Combine that with the 6 odd years of being Ireland's HC and Ireland never going past the QF stage in RWC then I'm sure you'd agree, why I suggested "I fancy our chances against Ireland, rather than the Bokke".
The Neutral View From Sweden
Roar Guru
That maul try really rankled AB’s and Ryan, won’t happen again. Oh, it will happen again. You can be 100 percent sure of that. Too funny to think that the ABs somehow will be immune against the maul.
The Neutral View From Sweden
Roar Guru
I did not dispute that Ireland had two wins before the last WC, that is just poor style from you to claim that. And there are wins and there are wins. Winning two on the bounce in NZ - in convincing style - tells me that this Irish team has more edge than four years ago. But it is kind of cute to see the AB fans dig deep into their history books to somehow convince themselves that Ireland anno 2023 is not the number-one ranked team in the world that has beaten everything and everyone convincingly.
Wizz
Roar Rookie
Get front row that can scrummage and break defence your half way in winning collision...Eddie is slowly finding out what I and Dave Rennie knew .Slipper AAA ain't going to do it.. Porecki just rubs salt into that equation
Old Bugger
Roar Rookie
Good for you Swede.....but, dispute the fact that Ireland did have 2 wins against the ABs, leading into RWC 2019 and the rest, can fall into memories!!
Jacko
Roar Rookie
Eddie the toad jones... On Mogadon.
The Neutral View From Sweden
Roar Guru
I think you don't remember correctly. Ireland's world-beating form was long gone when that QF was played. The Joe Schmidt magic was not so magic anymore. And the blowout score was mostly down to that Ireland had a shockingly poor performance. I believe Ireland really fancy their chances against NZ this time around. If the Irish get their game going this time, it is gonna be a panic station in the AB camp pretty fast, hence they don't have the players or the game plan to counter it.
SwissRugbyFan
Roar Rookie
Hopefully the All blacks dont firing out of the sheds like the last two weeks, otherwise game over after 20min.
Morsie
Roar Rookie
Refer to a pic and interview with Hanson. Put 2 and 2 together.............. :silly:
CoxC
Roar Rookie
If the toad was pretty, I would be asking a firefly if I could rent his light
thebleedingobvious
Roar Rookie
That maul try really rankled AB’s and Ryan, won’t happen again. WB’s have the players and the selection is good, it depends on how they gell. Unlike AB’s they haven’t yet settled their combos. Gordon will either be very good or exposed by NZ like Lolosia was, the former i think. Eddie making lots of fun but he’s stressed. The from league attack and defence coaches haven’t impressed, it’s a big ask for them to get up to speed in such a short time WC looming. AB’s find space and punish weakness and these test rugby rookie coaches are vulnerable until they get a true handle on the top level game. It’s gonna be hard to justify confidence going forward to Dunedin and WC if WB’s lose poorly and get behind 8 ball like AB’s did last year, till they repaired it with better assistant coaches. WB’s will definitely be up for it though, MCG and dogs on their backs and this will be a difficult game for AB’s. Aus isn’t the easiest place for them and WB’s should be inspired by the occasion and crowd, much more committed at collision and breakdown plus attitude can do a lot for defence. Also AB’s consistency isn’t yet proven by just 2 good games running, however if WB’s aren't at their potential best they’ll lose to AB’s confidence/momentum and this is their best chance against AB’s this year.
One Eye
Roar Rookie
Yep, was a matter of pride that the Crusaders didn’t concede a maul try for some seasons while he was at the (forwards) helm.
WEST
Roar Guru
Haha I like the way you operate OB! Good points, that QF against Ireland was extremely satisfying, especially when they were once again ranked #1 in the world. There’s a massive amount of pressure on Ireland, probably more than most considering they’ve never gone further than a QF. Despite being the best team in the world.. according to the ranking system. I was getting used to us flying underneath the radar.. A low profile is a nice change. Guess we’ll see what happens :thumbup:
Passit2me
Roar Rookie
I think (HOPE), he is slowly drifting from that narrative :rugby: