Good, the bad, the Eddie: Rats and possums, Hoops 'like the ex being MC at your wedding' and an orgy of apologies

Here at GBE we’re trying desperately to put a positive spin on a week where we’ve all had to face up to some serious questions: like why is Eddie’s mouth saying one thing and his eyes another, and can I get full refund on my Airbnb in Marseille?

It’s perhaps time to accept that while the world rankings aren’t highly thought of by rugby insiders and coaches, that doesn’t mean they’re false. So, perhaps it was a pipe dream to book that two bedder in Marseille considering Australia is way down in 10th. At least we have a plucky first half performance against rugby giants Wales to savour.

The World Cup runs for seven weeks and Australia was gone in 15 days. It seems almost sacrilegious to try find anything good in this clustereff but let’s kick on, shall we?

The Good

Ireland’s marker on the night of the Zombie

Ireland’s win over South Africa was heralded as one of the great World Cup pool games of all time. The only downside was the lack of jeopardy with both teams looking likely to advance through to the quarters.

As long as Ireland can overcome Scotland – and that should be competitive at least – they will likely face New Zealand in the first knockout, with South Africa destined to meet France.

There were plenty of conspiracy theorists suggesting the Boks wanted to come second, believing a France without Romain Ntamack, and potentially Antonie Dupont, offers an easier route to the last four than the All Blacks.

New Zealand defence coach Scott McLeod said the clash “definitely set the standard” for the competition.

“I was hugely impressed with the intensity of the game. Set-piece pressure was huge form both sides. The defence and the movement and the collisions for as long as it was was immense,” said McLeod.

“That’s what impressed me the most, the speed of play but the collisions were clean. They were very clean and accurate, there was no infringing around that area. And that’s a bloody hard thing to do that speed, with those collisions and bodies are flying everywhere and both teams did that very, very well.”

He said the match had the All Blacks “buzzing””.

“They can see it and they can feel it in the speed. It’s not something we’ve talked about as a group at all but the players have seen it and they’ve talked about amongst themselves. There is a buzz, that excites them, that’s the level they want to play at.”

McLeod, meanwhile, wouldn’t get drawn into talking about a QF against Ireland, considering his team still has a tricky encounter with Italy to negotiate.

“I have rats and possums on my property and that’s a trap, right there. I know what a trap looks like, I know what it smells like and that to me is a trap right there,” McLeod said.

“Pure thing being, we deal with what is in front of us. Italy are a very good side and if we look too far ahead or start thinking about others, we will come undone. So, we can’t do that. Thanks for the trap.”

To be fair the game was a bit of an outlier as contest, with too many games too lopsided. One thing the tournament hasn’t lacked though is atmosphere and it was first class in Paris, especially from the travelling Irish support.

When the game paused and The Fields of Athenry rang out, was a pure goosebump moment.

But even that was topped by the rendition of The Cranberries song Zombie after final whistle. The song was first used by Munster fans, and while the rest of the world was captivated, it is problematic for many Irish who believe it is disrespectful to the people of Northern Ireland and their experiences living through the troubles.

The lyrics, written by the late Dolores O’Riordan, were penned following a bombing where two young boys were killed by the Provisional IRA.

According to balls.ie the words from the chorus, “In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie”, have been criticised, as they imply that the grievances of nationalists were all in their heads.

They are not the only national team with a fan song that some find offensive. England supporters have been urged not to sing Swing Low Sweet chariot due to slavery connections, while the Welsh rugby authorities banned their choirs from playing Tom Jones’1960s hit Delilah due to concerns its lyrics promotes domestic violence.

And final note on the game of the week. How funny was it to see Boks’ hard man Eben Eztebeth lifted up and swung around like a little rag doll? (Answer: very).

Top tier honesty

The GBE man of the week is Chile coach Pablo Lemoine.

He wasn’t having the soft ball questioning from world rugby’s TV host after being smashed 71-0 by England.

“I’m not really disappointed. That’s reality. That’s what actually happens with rugby at the moment. We have never played before at a World Cup. We are coming here and we are part of the show but we never can play the games.

“We haven’t played that kind of game in the cycle between the World Cups. I hope that changes because it’s not good for the game or the supporters.

“Every game gives us positive things but at the moment we are only thinking about what happened today. The score is completely unfair.”

It’s a long shot but hopefully World Rugby and the stronger nations get their act together to promote and improve tier 2 rugby for the sake of future tournaments – especially with the Cup set to expand to 24 teams.

Hoops is all grace despite Jones snub

It can’t have been easy for Michael Hooper – who was named as the Wallabies co-captain earlier this year before being left behind – watch the events unfold in Lyon.

His reaction when asked about the man who didn’t pick him was all class. “No one’s up in more hours in the day than Eddie, that guy’s going to bed at 11 at night thinking about how to make all Wallabies team better,” Hooper said on Stan Sport.

“He’s waking up at three in the morning answering messages on how to make the Wallabies team better. So there’s no lack of desire for that for that guy to make this team the best it can possibly be.”

Former Test No.10 was less forgiving, tweeting: “It didn’t have to be like this.”

Cheika makes time

The former (and future?) Wallabies coach Michael Cheika gave his post match press conference exclusively in Spanish after his Argentina’s win over Samoa in Saint Etienne.

Thankfully he agreed to chat to three Australian media types in the mixed zone afterwards, although one of them – names withheld – almost blew the whole thing by asking him about his links to the Wests Tigers.

He was also non plussed when asked about the Argentinian players carrying several cases of the sponsor’s Asahi brew onto the bus before he emerged.

“No, our guys won’t be drinking. They take them just to put them away, maybe the staff have them, I don’t know. But the boys aren’t, I can tell you right now.

“One thing about our lads is they’re very focused on doing their best. Sometimes it goes maybe too much and it gets in the way but they love their footy.”

The bad…

There’s a first time for everything

If you are digging into the bad, you have to start with the Wallabies. The first Australian team that will not clear the pool stage.

This is the most Eddie quote of all: “Whilst it looks at the moment like a shambles, I can guarantee you it’s not.”

How much of an effect did his eported flirtation with Japan have on the team? The players say not at all, but it’s hard to reconcile.

What we saw was an orgy of apology, starting with the coach and flowing through the team.

“As players we’ve let him down. We haven’t taken the message and we haven’t fronted up,” said Andrew Kellaway. “He didn’t lose the game. He wasn’t out there last week and he wasn’t out there tonight. We have to take responsibility for that.”

But the comment that deserves to underscore that diabolical performance against Wales – that saw Wallabies fans streaming out well before the end – belongs to Richie Arnold.

“F–k mate, what didn’t go wrong?” was his brutal assessment.

Dupont’s crushing injury

Having already seen Romain Ntamack go down before the tournament, the loss of 2021 World Player of the Year Antoine Dupont to a fractured cheekbone in a relatively meaningless 96-0 stroll against Namibia was a massive downer for France and the tournament – especially for those of us now looking for a team to stop New Zealand or England claiming the title.

While Dupont’s return timeline is unclear, the perpetrator Johan Deysel has been the subject of vile social media abuse.

“I would like to extend my best wishes to Antoine Dupont. Clearly, I meant no harm,” he said.

“Everything happened very quickly, and I couldn’t get my head out of the way quick enough, resulting in a head clash. I know the rules and immediately knew that I was at fault.”

And the Eddie

Former Wallaby star Stirling Mortlock has backed the coach to stay in his job – if he’s happy to stick around.

Eddie as a coach and leader is accountable, and he says this,” Mortlock told the BBC’s Rugby Union Daily podcast. “I respect him that he wears it.

“But the worst thing Australia can do is get rid of him, to say you’re not the best man for the job after only six months. Back your man, you picked him for a reason.

“It’s about the next four years of rugby in our country. He rolled the dice with youth for this World Cup – maybe if Australia were in what was perceived as a tougher pool, he would not have done this.”

And if you’re craving some words from the man himself, I’ve got plenty right here.