The tragedy of life in Australia from a sporting perspective has always been the inconvenience of the time zone in which we live.
I can remember celebrating when the Formula One Grand Prix in Japan took place and the ecstasy of a Commonwealth games in New Zealand or Australia cannot be described; knowing that the action takes place at a viewer-friendly time.
The World Cup in Russia offers no such convenience for Aussie fans with some late nights, or early mornings depending on your view, in store.
The hosts have done us a wonderful favour and slated the Socceroos in early timeslots for the group matches. Aussie fans could be well and truly in bed between two and three, depending on the excitement levels after we snare three points against our pooled opponents.
However, once we move beyond the group stage and deeper into the tournament, our matches will be later and 4am rises will become the norm.
It will be a stressful time for us all, let alone from a footballing perspective.
Relationships will be stretched to the brink and workplaces might receive an extra call or two as the winter sniffles take hold of football fans across the nation.
Finances will also be tested, as delivered food may usurp home cooking as a convenient method to cram in all the action.
I am ready. As are The Roar. Behind the scenes, the team have been strategising for the cup. Each game will be blogged live, with match reports and detailed analysis and hypothesis from the experts to summarise the action.
You need to be ready as well. Follow the simple four step process below and you might just make it through unscathed.
#1 Discuss the FIFA World Cup with your partner
There is no nice way to say this. Prior to the tournament, hubby or wifey, if not as football passionate as you, needs to be sat down and explained in detail what is about to occur and the journey you are about to undertake.
If they have lived it before, remind them just how bad it was. How you lost your job thanks to frequent sickies and forgot your own children’s names somewhere during the round of sixteen.
If they are a World Cup virgin, be honest, tell them it is a 24-hour commitment. You are better off being upfront and explaining just how much it means to you, rather than fudging your way through. Trust me, they’ll understand.
For those of you with a wedding anniversary or birthday falling late June or early July, good luck!
Australian fans had plenty to celebrate in Stuttgart back in 2006. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)
#2 Stock up
There is no time to shop during the World Cup and finding a Seven Eleven at three-thirty in the morning can prove a challenge for many.
Somewhere between one to two thousand tea bags should get you through. Ensure there is a back-up espresso machine available if coffee is more your thing and if you prefer something a little more potent, many suburbs now offer a home delivery service.
Put that phone number on your fridge immediately, laden your pantry with late night nibbles and treats and label the Tupperware clearly to prevent theft.
#3 Do not be caught out by technology
When Lionel Messi lines up a penalty in the shootout and Mat Ryan prepares for a wondrous save that will bring the Cup to Australia for the first time, imagine losing the images.
Get on your roof immediately and do a full system check: cabling, splitters and aerials often malfunction and while The Roar will be ever present and up to the minute with scores, a loss of vision could potentially put lives at risk.
Similarly, if you are a cable subscriber, call your provider and check for any maintenance work being done during the event. If so, request a postponement, politely, and if they decline, call the ombudsman.
To be completely safe, purchase a new television this weekend. Pay for as many features as you can afford and stow your old set in the new box, as an emergency backup.
#4 Embrace the space-time continuum
Clocks, sunsets and time itself lose all meaning once the World Cup begins. Viewing in the wee hours, as one match rolls into another, followed by the replay of a third, sees any concept of time disappear, let alone an awareness of what day of the week it is.
It is something to which the skilled World Cup viewers in these parts have become accustomed and submit to willingly. Many people get stressed when denied a sleep-in or when they experience difficulty in falling asleep at night; with work commitments and appointments pressing.
Tim Cahill has made waking up at 3am worth it in recent years for Aussie fans (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)
Australian football fans just allow the fluidity of the event to take over; one game bleeds into another, the clock loses all meaning and the regimented routine of day and night becomes obsolete.
I found myself cooking steak and sausages at 3.00am watching the 2006 World Cup in Germany. It didn’t feel weird. I was hungry and it felt like dinner time to me.
Don’t fight it. Feel the force and let it flow.
Preparation is key for a World Cup. Going in underprepared is an approach doomed to fail. Sure, savour the play and cheer on your team but for goodness sake take the necessary steps to make the event one to remember.
Any perceived selfishness can be made up for later.
Post_hoc
Roar Rookie
Dean, she won't care if she gets to sleep through the night that is all she will know about. You are in the best situation possible. You get to watch the games and have a partner that thinks you are the best. That my friend is a win-win
Stuart Thomas
Expert
I would love to see Sunderland in the World Cup. They could play the final against West Ham. I'd be in heaven.
Stevo
Roar Rookie
Very decent points Stuart, well done. The missus is a football fan and Sunderland is her team. But I told her they ain’t playin’ in the WC and that let her down. No worries, I’ve been getting up to WC duty at 4am since 1974 and it’ll be the same this time. Nothing will be holding me back! Onwards and upwards and many short blacks along the way :)
mattq
Guest
if you buy an AppleTV you can watch via the Optus app or get an older gen model (which I have) and screen mirror from your iPhone.
fabian gulino
Roar Rookie
All you do is call optus and ask for world cup subscrisption or ask them for other ways its simple.
Simon
Guest
Driving an hour and a half to the cinema at 4am to watch Australia play Chile last World Cup remains some of the most fun I’ve ever had watching sport
Dean
Guest
What will the numbers be like after the 3-0 half time score. I fear Durban all over again. Already dreading it. Fair dinkum the players left out of the French squad could replace our whole squad easily.
The Phantom Commissioner
Roar Rookie
Compared to World Cups past the timeslots are absolutely brilliant, especially for for us in WA. Whats the biggest ratings the Socceroos have gotten?, that first game against France will surely get close to being the most watched game ever for the boys.
Lionheart
Guest
Jupiter53 I use chrome cast for Netflix from a mobile phone and the quality is the same as the original. As for Optus, I'm on one of their basic sim only plans and recently got their mini Fetch to watch football. It's quite a small box and simply plugs into the TV, but you need WiFi or a cable connection from your NBN to feed into it. It won't record, you need their full monty for that (fetch mighty with their broadband). You can chat with them (try google search - optus live chat) but they're not always the most helpful offshore team to get the right answers.
reuster75
Guest
The first Saturday of the tournament is definitely 'Super Saturday' - AUS v FRA, followed by Iceland v Argentina, then PERU v DENMARK and Croatia v Nigeria to round it out. I will be in Russia but even so I am still going to have to pace myself to get through that day.
Perry Bridge
Guest
Carna Danes, Stocking up on Carlsberg, Anton Berg, and Lego in anticipation.....
Dean
Guest
Might volunteer to do the overnight bottles with the newborn. She might get suspicious when feeding takes 6 hours, though?
jupiter53
Roar Pro
Thanks very much for that. As you say, god knows about the quality, particularly as our internet seems to have got progressively worse over the last few months [conspiracy theorists around here suggest it is to make us grateful for the NBN when it arrives here in August or so]. But it looks the only possibility of getting close to what I am after, so it is worth a try.
AGO74
Guest
You can use chrome cast per below. Having said that i don't know what the quality of the "transferred" picture is....eg does it become pixelated or is it still in HD such as when you watch it on tablet etc. http://www.optus.com.au/shop/support/answer/is-the-premier-league-available-on-chromecast?requestType=NormalRequest&id=7050&typeId=5
jupiter53
Roar Pro
I was all set to take the first 2 weeks of the world cup off so I could embrace the madness fully; watch all night and sleep all day. However I am having trouble making sense of the Optus offering. As far as I can figure, as a non-Optus subscriber and Apple user I am limited to the Optus Sport app. That means I can only watch on an iOS device, so I either watch on my mobile phone, or get an iPad. I was hoping to at least watch on my computer and via that, on a big screen [I am not excited by the prospect of wearing magnifying glasses to make sense of the action] , but that seems not to be an option. Can anyone more tech savvy let me know if there is something I have missed in my exploration? Or do I just give it up and confine myself to SBS?
Lionheart
Guest
Time zone sure is a killer - if only we could go 'Mum's the word' as a nation and not watch or even mention the result until a decent hour. But then, it is often worth the price.
13th Man
Guest
I think the time zone is slightly more friendly here on the West Coast but still will be some late nights haha, especially when you are following two teams!!
JamesH
Roar Guru
Yeah, but that's it. From about the halfway point of the tournament all games start at either midnight or 4am :/
AGO74
Guest
The timing of later tournament games sucks (I find it much harder to get up than to stay awake) but at least Australian games are on at good times. The France game is the only 8pm kickoff in the whole tournament. The Denmark game is great too not just because of timing (10pm) but that's it's on a Thursday). Me and my mates are all taking Friday off for a long weekend and planning on trying to go all the way through that night! (France vs Peru is straight after followed by Croatia vs Argentina). Quality lineup.
AGO74
Guest
Really good point. The subscriptions and viewers for this will surely be much higher than the epl and whilst it is now ok Optus had a number of teething issues.