Well, well, well… who would’ve thought, eh? Not me, not me that’s for sure.
What I’m talking about here is that weekend. You know the one. The one of the 15th and 16th of September 2018. The one where everything turned upside down in the southern hemisphere.
The weekend where being a rugby supporter could do you some serious damage.
You see, it all depends on who you are, where you come from, and who you support. So ‘damage’ might not necessarily be the case in some or all incidents. Rather a roller-coaster ride of emotions is generally guaranteed, and that in itself can do damage. Serious damage.
This past weekend started out innocently enough for me. I got a compulsory invite to a barbecue. Usual story. Someone had won a meat-tray the night before, at the local pub, and it needed to be cooked and consumed.
“We’re having a barbie, come on over!”
All good so far.
It was only a small intimate gathering. And as the drinks clinked, as the air hung with the aroma of a variety of sizzling meats, and the convivial conversation bubbled along, I was suddenly asked… “What’s up with those Wallabies of yours mate?”
Bang! Immediately a bomb went off in my head, and I suddenly wished I was at a larger gathering so I could disappear into the crowd. Escape. Disappear. But, no, no I was trapped.
And as the questioner zeroed in on me with steely gaze I knew what was coming next… ridicule.
Wallabies player Lukhan Tui (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)
Luckily for me my phone rang, allowing me to make an excuse and take the call. And funnily enough (or not) it was from a rugby mate. Sadly for him, he had the misfortunate of making his call at the wrong time and in the process copped a profanity ladened minute or two of my angst.
“What’s up with those Wallabies of yours, mate?” I repeated a few times.
After I had drawn breath my mate actually managed to get a word in and what he said next stumped me…
“Mate, don’t worry ’cause I reckon the very same question is probably being asked around barbies across the nation. And not just here in Aussie mate, but in South Africa, in Argentina, although probably not in NZ, those smug sheep… So forget about it, Just enjoy the barbie. Enjoy the food. The drink. And the fact you can.”
“Oh, OK” I said.
After our call had ended I pondered this more in my own mind. Yeah, everyone loves a barbie. Yeah, forget the baited questions. Yeah, barbies are for eating, drinking and enjoying yourselves. Yeah!
Further, I got to thinking what would a Braai be like in South Africa, or an Asado in Argentina, or for that matter a Hangi in NZ? And like what sort of stuff would they throw on to cook-up?
Australians will pretty much throw anything on the barbie, even crocodile and kangaroo. Not Wallaby though, they’re a protected species but the way things are going this may soon be revoked.
Thus, it was with these continued thoughts in mind that I sat down to watch the weekend’s games: first NZ hosting SA, then followed by Aussie hosting Argentina. All pretty straight forward stuff you’d have thought, eh?
The almighty All Blacks to smack the spluttering, stuttering Bokke, while the Wallabies to just, just beat those ever improving Bargies.
But it didn’t happen. It didn’t happen that way at all.
History will now recall that the impenetrable darkness fell to a defiant and proud Bokke in NZ, while ‘my’ Wallabies gifted those Bargies their first ever win in Aussie.
Kurtley Beale of the Wallabies (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
Hence, this weekend I’ve decided not to have a barbie but to have a Braai instead. Yep. A turn the tables type of deal. A switcharoo.
There’ll be sosaties, boerewors, marinated chicken, pork, and huge juicy steaks of springbok, ostrich and kudo. I’m sure my butcher has the contacts to come good on this. Likewise, my local ‘Cellar Masters’ will provide me with just right Stellenbosch cab savs for the occasion. And the beer will be chilled cold and crisp.
And, as the only ‘sure thing’ in Aussie presently (and possibly the world) is a horse called Winx – so there’ll be no horse meat.
“We’re having a Braai, come on over!”
PS: And don’t forget to leave your money on the fridge. Thanks.
Jokerman
Roar Guru
Sounds to me, Chook you may have an eating problem. I had an old flatmate who was addicted to muesli. I was convinced I could see traces of it in the bath. Making up a paste in the bath. He was English. Anyway glad you’re happy and well. Hadn’t heard from ya so I was worried you might have been bitten from a spider or snake. We only have birds here in NZ, it’s pretty safe here. Newtown, Wellington can bring up some dangerous birds though. I really need to remind myself to take better care out there. I found myself dashing out of there on Friday night, almost being chased, searching for Ms Zen. I kinda found her. I think so. All the best for your Wallabies! Another article well done!
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
Auckland, Auks, Blue and White hoops mate but not the Blues. The team is in the provincial championship, now known as the Mitre10 cup... Yeah, they are going Ok though tripped over against Otago ... a mere blip sir ????
MitchO
Guest
Kangaroo actually works pretty well in a vindaloo.
Machooka
Roar Guru
Thanks Biggest... better late than never ;) Big.. BIG... BIGGEST w'end of rugby coming up mate. Two cracking games. Fingers crossed eh!
Worlds Biggest
Roar Pro
Nice one Chookman, chiming in late here mate ! " And don’t forget to leave your money on the fridge " Kingswood Country, one of the great shows !
Machooka
Roar Guru
MitchO... when I was a little boy, in short pants, my mother would buy kangaroo meat to feed the dog. These days my wife now buys it every so often to feed me. Funny eh!
RobC
Roar Guru
I'll bring Digs and Dani!!!
The Slow Eater
Roar Rookie
That sounds just wonderful.
Always been here mate, just didn't have much to say for a long time
Machooka
Roar Guru
Cliff... you are thinking way too hard! This is about food on a barbie... and your ability to catch it ;)
Machooka
Roar Guru
biltong... it's good to have you back bro, saucy and back :)
Adsa
Roar Rookie
Always happy to offer advice Chook.
Harry Jones
Expert
Hahahaha that’s brilliant I’m gonna make sous tonight
Cliff Bishkek
Roar Rookie
No likely chook, the Wallabies are short "a Kangaroo in the top paddock" and it ain't coming back. It was getting lonely as the Wallabies are currently, or for some time and will continue to do so - be short of their top 2 inches when it comes to Rugby Smarts and Nous!!
Forgot one thing. If you sauce tastes to acidic, use a half a teaspoon of bicarbonite of soda, it works the same as enos for heartburn. You can remove the impurities that rise to the surface after it settles.
Ok, lets make some real sauce. No sauce has a fixed recipe, it all depends on the ingredients you source. For example the acidity of the tomatoes make a huge difference in sauce making. A sauce can also be multifunctional, my sauce is used for pap, spaghetti bolognaise etc. Take two large onions, dice into fine pieces. Use about twelve large tomatoes. Whilst the onins are softening in a pot with about one table spoon of vegetable oil. The tomatoes are soaked into hot boiled water to loosen the skin. Then cut a criss cross on the top of the tomato and pull skin off with bare hands, if you have sensitive hands, use gloves. Then cut tomatoes as fine as you can. Add garlic, ginger and chilli to onions (your choice as you decide how hot and garlicky you want your sauce. Whne aroma fills the kitchen add tomatoes, then once it has starts boiling, put on low and allow this sauce to build character. A good sauce is like a person, the more time you give it, the more character the sacue has. When the sauce is starting to produce a soft consistency you add one sachet of tomato puree for the umami effect. Add one table spoon of sugar, nothing more, you having sauce not desert. Add salt and pepper. I like to add one teaspoon of mild curry, two teaspoons of masala and dditional chilli for heat. I also add some bbq spice. This part is all up to you, but you add this to taste, if you don't taste your sauce regularly you won't know what it needs. Once you are satisfied with the intial taste, allow pot to simmer for another while, tasting and making slight adjustments as you go on. When ready, eat whatever you put sauce on with a fork, in this instance you don't want to lick your fingers, it can be hazardous to your digits.
You could also go for "krummel pap" It is granular similar to cous cous,
MitchO
Guest
Kangaroo is actually pretty good. A bit rich and you need to cook it medium rare but it is very low in fat and low cholesterol which allows you to have an extra beer or two. The answer to what's up with the Wallaby is that the ARU, QRU and NSWRU would f up a BBQ and probably have. You could take a leaf out of Cheika's book and mention Collingwood having a shot at the flag. That is bound to distract and fire up someone in the room. One way or the other.
Machooka
Roar Guru
Howzit Tragic... and good observation albeit question regards the sleeping bags, especially with those 'time zone' thingys coming into play. No, you'll need to bring your own bag just in case of one of those nanna nap attacks happens. You know how it goes... full tummies, un-responsible drinking, and all the while sitting around telling lies, stories, bad jokes and stuff. Oh, and how good the Auckland Blues are gonna be... like gonna be great eh maaate!?! ;)
Digby
Roar Guru
Exactly!