Seeking an in-depth analysis of your club’s chances in 2020? You’ve come to the wrong place. Looking for an off-kilter and slightly unhinged reason to watch your club in 2020? Step into my office.
Levi Casboult
The early days of Levi Casboult’s AFL career were enough to make you think the world-controlling lizard people – Hail Zorp! – were playing an elaborate long-con prank on the footballing public. That a man of his size and athleticism could be so mediocre beggared belief.
Well, the jig is up. The mighty Taswegian can now kick straight, mark the everlasting heck out of the ball, pinch-hit in the ruck, and double down as a key position defender. He credits his turnaround in form to a Benjamin Button-esque realisation: “I knew I was going to go down swinging and the best way to do that was to be a kid. If you strip it all back, we’re all just big kids who love playing footy and having fun”.
Levi also operates just about the most wholesome Instagram feed in existence. He’s a beautiful man. He’s ready to perform beautiful footballing feats in 2020.
Eddie Betts
Bob Ross built magical oil-painted worlds, and while chilling out, maxing, and relaxing all cool, once whispered: “Remember that this is your world. In your world, you can create anything that you desire”. Young Eddie is Bob Ross in footballing form.
He looks at a Sherrin and sees not a piece of sporting equipment. He sees a paintbrush. He peers at the blur of bodies surrounding him inside 50 and sees not potential pitfalls. He sees beautiful opportunity. Bob Ross once painted his interpretation of the Northern Lights in an episode titled ‘Aurora’s Dance’, noting that they are “one of the more gorgeous phenomena that happen in nature”.
I’ve watched a fair few Eddie Betts compilations lately. I’ve had Bob Ross’ narration playing over the top. I’m convinced there are times when Bob is speaking directly to Eddie as he whirls around opponents, leaving a trail of shapes and colour as he ducks and weaves. Betts has launched countless miracles from the pockets of grounds across the country and has returned to the Blues for a farewell tour. There’re a few masterpieces left to come.
(AAP Image/Michael Dodge)
Patrick Cripps
Somehow he slipped to pick 13 in the 2013 AFL draft and has been punishing list managers ever since. A 195cm colossus of a midfielder. Bull in human form. No, scrap that. Actual footballing Minotaur.
Take a moment to witness this man’s genius. At the 1.19 mark, Luke Hodge handballs into space as two Lions players valiantly attempt to hold Cripps back. Earnest ninth-gamer Jacob Allison has the audacity to believe he can beat Cripps to the ball. Cripps peels off, receives the handball, swats away Daniel Rich like he’s a mere fly, turns on the afterburners, and drills it from 40 metres.
Let it be noted that this was just one of 38 touches for the day, one of four goals for Cripps, and one additional dagger into the heart of Brisbane as Carlton snared a 15-point win. With just 24 wins to his name from 101 starts, Patrick has an almost unquantifiable level of yearning for sustained success.
Want proof? He proudly posted a picture of the Rampage to his socials after their 2019 AFLX victory – a sign of an unsatisfied soul if ever there was one. If the Blues string together some early wins, not even Theseus and the Sword of Aegeus will be enough to stop Cripps.
Sam Docherty
Pop quiz: what do Tigers Woods, Alex Rodriguez, Peyton Manning and Jonny Wilkinson all have in common? Like Sam Docherty, they’ve at one time or another turned to Bill Knowles for help. Sports medicine’s answer to Wade Wilson, Knowles has used his superhuman powers to repair sporting superstars across the globe.
For long-suffering Carlton supporters, Docherty’s time spent with Knowles and subsequent recovery is on par with the Average Joes overcoming a four-man disadvantage against the Globo Gym Purple Cobras in the final of the American Dodgeball Association of America Tournament. That is to say, an excellent turn of events.
After barnstorming campaigns in 2016 and 2017 that brought endless joy to SuperCoach enthusiasts, the dashing defender hasn’t played a game since he was named All Australian for the first time two years ago or featured once since being named Carlton co-captain. Rivers of tears have been wept in AFL Fantasy Land.
But fear not, he’s back and better than ever. And he’ll set you back just $436,000 in 2020. He’ll be my first picked, that’s for sure.
David Teague
After 11 rounds of the 2019 AFL season, Carlton had one win. After 22 they had seven wins. Brendon Bolton was coach for the first 11 games. David Teague was coach for the next 11.
The ex-Roo and Blue has brought the fun – and the ability for Carlton to kick a winning score – back.
Now, I’m no expert, but something tells me that despite Chris Judd’s obstinance – and the removal of those pesky training wheels – the Blues made the right call in signing Teague up for a three-year deal. In 2020, at the very least, tracking the Carlton faithful’s mood towards the young head honcho will be endlessly entertaining.
Samuel Laffy
Roar Guru
At least Mitch McGovern is still there to be a whipping boy in the forward line.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Daisy Thomas gone too!
Samuel Laffy
Roar Guru
Brent Stanton used to cop a bit of flak at Essendon - he's an Assistant Coach at the Blues now - will he do?
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
And one reason not to watch them. No Bolton or SOS to bag any more. Who is the scapegoat now?
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Thanks for the reply Aransan. I am certain all clubs go into the draft with a list of players they would like to select and there has been plenty of discussions between the recruiting and coaching staff. Until the AFL introduced live trading I believe the drafting was fairly predictable but now it is more interesting. SOS having travelled to the US and witnessed how live trading worked was ahead of most of the other recruiters and he has certainly pulled off some good deals.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
Col, thanks for challenging my memory which on checking seems to have been more my imagination. I don't believe there is any evidence of Teague throwing his pen, my memory is that Don Freo had mentioned that. Carlton had pick 20, a pen was dropped when Richmond had pick 21 so I don't know if that was the source of the confusion. Teague did have more to say at one point than I can remember any other coach being involved in, but on rechecking I couldn't claim that it was unreasonable. Carltons trading of picks was interesting, by trading #11 and #62 for #17 and #22 they gained 418 trade value index points. When they traded back #22 and #55 for #20, they lost 140 points. Subsequently it turned out that Richmond would have taken Sam Philp at pick 21 if he had been available, hence the importance of that trade for Carlton. It is too simple to believe that players can be ranked accurately in the draft, the ranking would vary from club to club but also it would be useful to have a range of uncertainty for where a player sits in the draft. Players coming off ACLs seem to be ranked lower than they should be -- many 18yo players don't play AFL in their first year anyway and I am sure there is much to be gained by them apart from their rehab. The range of uncertainty will be greater for bigger players who will take longer to develop. I am sure that there would be points in the draft where a club would be happy to take one of two or three players still available and hence are happy to be involved in a trade where they drop a couple spots in the draft. Carlton did very well to turn one first round draft pick into three, they have definitely been ahead of the other clubs with their draft night strategies. It was also good to force other clubs to match bids for their academy players -- otherwise it would appear that these players were valued less than they deserved.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I will make a post at the end. Sorry for my delay in responding, I had several distractions yesterday including concern for our elderly cat in his final months.
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Maybe you should check. I just watched it, never saw him throw his pen and didn’t see him stand up after De Koning was selected. SOS & Teague were having a discussion before thy picked Philp where maybe SOS was telling him why they were going to pick him. Teague was doing a lot of nodding so I don’t know where your statement about him being upset comes from.
Parkside Darren
Roar Rookie
You believe? I would have thought it was a matter of fact
Parkside Darren
Roar Rookie
I just don’t think he’s done a great job. You have a different view. I can’t see Bombers making finals this year. Too many teams below them will improve more than them. We’ll see.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I could check a replay of the draft which I watched just a couple of days ago but I believe Teague stood up after Geelong took him with #19. I understand your logic and I might be wrong about De Koning but it seemed clear to me that Teague had a strong opinion about who he wanted -- perhaps someone other than Philp at #20?
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Strange Aransan, I follow all Carlton articles and supporter groups and have never read or heard that Teague was into De Koning like you say. We needed more midfield/small forward depth not a 201cm key position player.
Raimond
Roar Guru
The Giants have played the role of villain for the past few seasons, though I don’t think they have reached supervillain status yet - except for Toby. :laughing:
Aransan
Roar Rookie
And of course de Koning could have been taken with #17 (Teague's preference?) but then they might have missed out on Brodie Kemp. A time for disciplined logic, not emotion!
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I believe Teague was upset that they missed out on Sam de Koning taken with pick 19 by Geelong -- of course Carlton could have taken him with pick 9, 10, or 11 but then they would have missed out on Brodie Kemp (#17) and Sam Philp (#20). My guess is that Carlton were hoping to get de Koning with #20 but the list manager no doubt would have had a couple of players rated at a similar level including Philp.
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Might have just been disappointed in missing out on Stephens or Serong. SOS would have given him a list of the players they rated before the draft. Once Stephens & Serong were gone Kemp was possibly next in line..That’s why SOS did the swap of picks to pick up Kemp (highly rated by SOS) & also another first round pick.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I believe he threw his pen. He had been doing a lot of talking -- this is clear from the Foxtel vision of the draft, and at one stage obviously received a strong response from Silvagni.
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Aransan, I don’t recall any signs of displeasure from Teague during the draft. Were you in the room at the time? He might have been asking Silvagni why he was trading the first pick for 2 later picks but surely he is entitled to ask questions.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
There is a difference between a coach giving his opinion as to shortcomings in a list that need to be addressed -- this should be done well in advance of the draft, and expressing strong opinions during the draft on particular players who they want. Teague did raise eyebrows earlier in his tenure with his campaign to take Eddie Betts. Teague was emotional during the draft when calm was required to make the best logical decisions. I don't care about Dodoro, that was his last draft as list manager but I do believe he has been unfairly criticised. My point is that Teague has been a problem in his attempts to influence list management.
The Brazilian
Roar Rookie
Yet you state, 'Of course the coach should have input to list management . . . ' Your subsequent response smacks of desperation to defend the despotic actions of Dudoro. The point is he appears to have his own agenda and stubbornly sticks to his guns like a blinkered horse. Essendon's loss.