When England came to Australia in 2010 for the Ashes, there was genuine excitement in the air.
There was actual concern at every level of Australian cricket from the team to the fans that England would take the urn back with them.
For once, the “it’s coming home” rhetoric was true as Andrew Strauss’s English side not only retained the Ashes but vanquished Australia 3-1.
But that series was a once-in-a-generation event. An enormous anomaly for the England men’s Test team in the modern era.
The current squad has already been thrashed in the first two Tests and are in disarray, looking next to no chance of winning any of the remaining three matches.
Since Mike Gatting’s team won the Ashes by the same margin in 1986-87, the ledger in Australia stands at 30 wins to those wearing baggy greens and just six to the tourists. And that includes the three wins of 2010-11.
Outside of that series, England have not won a game in Australia since they avoided a whitewash at Sydney in 2003 when Michael Vaughan compiled a brilliant 183 which is barely remembered as his century was somewhat overshadowed by Steve Waugh’s ton off the last ball of day two.
Perhaps we owe the England touring teams of the 1990s an apology – compared to the current rabble, they were world beaters. Australia’s whipping boys like Phil Tufnell, Robert Croft, John Crawley and Graeme Hick would walk straight into the 2021 side.
It appears for England to win Down Under, they need two factors to coalesce or they’re no chance.
(Photo by Mark Brake – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)
They need to have a team that has been building for Ashes glory over at least a two-year stretch, featuring several players in their prime.
And they need Australian cricket to be at a low ebb – when Gatting’s team blasted Allan Border’s squad in the mid 1980s, the Australian team was in a slow rebuilding process after the retirements of Dennis Lillee, Rod Marsh and Greg Chappell, coupled with the sudden resignation of captain Kim Hughes and absences of several Test regulars who signed up for a rebel tour of South Africa.
A decade ago, the Australians were in a similar situation following the departures of almost an entire team of all-time greats, including Matthew Hayden, Justin Langer, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist, Jason Gillespie and Brett Lee.
And with England’s domestic set-up moving more and more towards hyped-up white-ball leagues like The Hundred, it’s hard to see the Poms producing enough Test-quality talent to recapture the success of the 1986-87 and 2010-11 sides.
Touring teams in Australia need to beat the locals at their own game. South Africa and India have shown that in recent years but England keep making the same mistakes.
Joe Root was bullish after the First Test loss in Brisbane that he wanted England to not fall into the trap of previous touring teams. They needed to be bold, he said. Try new things, he claimed.
And then they picked their team for Adelaide with five right-arm seamers who hover around the 130km/h mark. Chris Woakes was chosen ahead of their fastest bowler, Mark Wood, in part because they were worried about their batting depth in the lower order.
After leaving Stuart Broad and James Anderson out of the series opener, they said they wanted to rest Wood in Adelaide so he will be fresh later in the series.
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld after George Costanza held out for less in their sitcom negotiations, this is how you rotate your best players in the bizarro world – keep them out of the important games at the start of a series so they can be more effective when the matches are less important.
The old empire dished up the same old style of team and got the same old style of result – a flogging from the colonials.
It looks like we may have to wait another couple of decades before we see England put up any sort of contest in an Ashes series in Australia.
matth
Roar Guru
I’m pretty sure England would settle for a 2-2 result.
Christopher Steer
Guest
A good article, a good a Australia dominatate a poor England side....but still a weird Australian chip on the shoulder about "old Empire"...???????
Doctor Rotcod
Roar Rookie
A team is as strong as its weakest player. Who is that for Australia? Harris?
Ad-O
Guest
Dunno about that. Seems to me England need fielding practice more than anything else. This is a weak Australian batting line up and they've lost enough games both home and away to prove it.
Once Upon a Time on the Roar
Roar Guru
When are we going to win a series in England again?
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
The point is that after Athens they started sinking a quarter of a billion into Olympic sports alone per Olympiad. Before Beijing the funding came from the 4 nations councils and was considerably less. UK spends more on sport than Australia, but about the same per capita, which was far from then case 16 years ago. They have been sending dud teams to Australia for the Ashes for years. I disagree that they’ll take decade to get better.
Mike
Guest
Well said, Tremlett and Bresnan were crucial in the latter half of the series. Of course, the single major factor throughout was probably Cook's batting at the top of the order.
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
Troy Cooley just lucked upon being Australia’s best bowling coach, then became England’s best bowling coach?
Twizz
Guest
British government still pour millions into sport
Jeff
Roar Rookie
Jhye's played one match at the 'G in 18/19. 2-58 & 1-70. Fairly high ER. Neser I don't think has played since 17/18. Either way, Matt Page has this as a very different wicket now to then, when it was a shambles. I think Boland is a good selection all things considered.
Micko
Roar Rookie
I remember that Boxing Day in 2010 was rainy and overcast, and an arrogant aussies (under Clarke) were vulnerable in swinging/seaming conditions to how aggressive they were. Also why they were bowled out for 60 @ Trent Bridge in 2015 (or 2013?).
Micko
Roar Rookie
Troy Cooley was a red herring. Marcus Trescothick in his autobiography confirmed that they were using lollies to ball tamper, and get more swing/reverse swing in that successful 2005 series, where they deployed a four man pace attack.
Rossi
Roar Rookie
In the shield. Can't tell me Richardson or Neser wouldn't do better
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
With the London Olympics coming, the British Government put money into sport in the 7 years leading up to the event. Cricket might not be an Olympic sport, but they did benefit from better facilities, better coaching (including the recruitment of Australian bowling coach Trot Cooley) and the benefits of modern sports science. Across the board, British sporting teams and individuals achieved better result in the period leading up to and following the London Olympics, which was a golden era in their sport which won't be repeated.
Paul
Roar Guru
"The current squad has already been thrashed in the first two Tests and are in disarray," I think this statement is way premature and only accurate as far as the scorebook's concerned. If England are in disarray, so is Australia. Harris everyone's best buddy, can't buy a first innings run, nor can Cameron Green. Warner & Labuschagne have had more lives than a dozen cats while we're going to play our 6th bowler in 3 Tests. I get that England have shot themselves badly with some selections and with their overall cricket, but at this level, it doesn't take a lot to go right for one team and wrong for another. If the Poms get it right in Melbourne and Australia get it wrong, don't be surprised to see a thrashing scoreline in Root's favour. Will we then see a piece about Australia's need to sort out it's domestic red ball issues, which are virtually the same as England?
cruyff turn
Roar Rookie
Have you seen his record at the MCG?
cruyff turn
Roar Rookie
Agree with both of you. And let's not forget the contributions of Tremlett and Bresnan, who were both magnificent when they got their opportunities. It could have easily fallen apart for England that series after losing Broad and Finn to injury, and then badly losing the 3rd Test. However, those two really stood up, probably as well as they ever bowled.
Rossi
Roar Rookie
Just read Boland is in, poms a real chance at MCG. An arrogant move, picking a crap bowler like that. Jhye takes a 5 for and he's out?
Nudge
Roar Rookie
South Africa has always done well here because our conditions are the same as South Africa. We always do well in South Africa as well. India won here fair and square last year but the time before that our cricket was in turmoil and we also didn’t have our two best bats
Brainstrust
Roar Rookie
if you remember back to 2010/2011 it was a wetter summer and Australia made the mistake of batting first twice and lost both tests. This series could have been totally different if England had just chosen to bowl in Brisbane. In Adelaide they lost the toss, so they couldn;t do anything about that even if they just a better bowling line up. That 2010/11 series could have been different for Australia if Ponting had reversed those two decisions. In Australia if you have life on the first day then days 2 and 3 is the best batting and get a big score and the match is over.