Dolphins announce every player to be captain

In a masterstroke of innovative recruitment, every play who signs with the Dolphins will be made co-captain.

Inspired by recent reports that the Wests Tigers will have five captains in 2022, the Dolphins are determined to go six times better and have every member of their full-time squad a skipper.

The Dolphins intend to be the best-led team in the NRL when they enter in 2023 and what better way to do that than to make everyone the leader?

It is no secret that the club, somewhere just north of Brisbane, has struggled to land big-name signings. Sources close to the club indicate great enthusiasm for the plan conceived through blue-sky thinking. It is felt that being able to offer not only Kalyn Ponga, but Cameron Munster, Brandon Smith, Patrick Carrigan, Reed Mahoney, Christian Welch, Harry Grant, Cody Walker and Reagan Campbell-Gillard the captaincy may give the Dolphins the recruitment edge over other NRL clubs.

It is a competitive market and without salary cap relief, clubs need to be creative in how they attract players.

“We may not be known by our location, but we will be known by our captains!” Is the type of clever marketing slogan that is garnering early support from the backrooms at Dolphins HQ.

Not content to be the latest little brother to the Broncos, the Dolphins really, really want to win more games than Brisbane and have more captains. It is believed that more captains will lead to better collaboration around important issues such as captain’s challenges, drinking sessions, honesty sessions as well as deciding which way to run in the first half.

Other clubs may quickly follow suit, particularly as a clever way of solving the fractious issue of players not wanting to play under the current captain. Nothing can sink a premiership quicker than dissent in the ranks and with everyone having the rank of captain, the club’s confident of harmony and early success.

Unconfirmed reports suggest Wayne Bennett is completely on board with the unique approach, because if captains and coach are required to be present at all post-match press conferences, having to accommodate 17 captains may allow Wayne to utter even fewer words than is currently the case.