After two days of nauseating self congratulation over the lukewarm success of Bazball, it was hard to imagine England’s cricket team and fans could sink any further into the depths of delusion. Welcome to the microphone, Paul Collingwood.
There’s an almost cultish fervour in the Pommy ranks about the concept of Bazball – the chaos theory approach that has, in this series so far, led to Ben Stokes making an interesting declaration call, and attempting to rattle Steve Smith by giving the ball to a part-time seamer, but little else.
After a day two of the series where the English media claimed Australia had been “emasculated” and the fans taunted the tourists as boring, assistant coach Collingwood went to the pulpit of the post-match press conference to claim England as the likely saviour of Test cricket.
The former England player – famously roasted by Shane Warne after the thrilling 2005 series (“you got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at The Oval? That’s embarrassing”) – suggested Test cricket might not survive without the entertainment Bazball is bringing to the game.
“We have said right from the start we are trying to make Test cricket a lot more entertaining,” said Collingwood, a former T20 World Cup winning captain.
“If we don’t do that, then Test cricket might not survive. Our vision as a Test team is far greater than results.”
Test cricket is, as it happens, 146 years old. Brendon McCullum, the Kiwi guru to whom all of England’s cricket flock currently genuflect, is 13 months into his job.
Brendon McCullum, Head Coach of England. (Photo by Alex Davidson/Getty Images)
Sure, Baz’s take on five-day cricket has a few twists – but the saviour of Test cricket?
Maybe we should ask fans of New Zealand and Sri Lanka, who witnessed one of the greatest ever games a mere three months ago, when the Kiwis stole a victory off the final ball, if Test cricket needs saving by this England team.
Or those of us who spent decades in the thrall of the greatest format of the sport. There has never been anything wrong with experimenting in Test cricket – except perhaps for DK Lillee and his aluminum bat. Or Bodyline.
It’s a format with a rich and beautiful history and drama through almost one and half centuries. It evolves and endures – so spare us the hyperbole, Paul.
Yet still he blustered on.
“Australia can go about it how they want to go about it, but we’ll stick to our plans and we’re happy with how we did it over the first two days.
“We have pretty aggressive fields, we try not to allow them to rotate the strike and try to put them under pressure in that way and find different ways to take wickets.
“We try and focus on what we do, how we go about the game.”
The Australian response to Bazball – let’s call it PatPlay – took the English by surprise.
Australia’s skipper Pat Cummins set defensive fields from the start – a ploy which England have taken as a moral victory that they seen so certain will lead to an actual one.
“I didn’t expect it,” Collingwood said.
“But the aggression we’ve shown, the amount of boundaries we have scored, and the run-rates we keep achieving, we keep pushing the boundaries.
“Oppositions are trying to find ways to stem the flow, and that was Australia’s choice on the first day.
“Once you start worrying about how the opposition are thinking you take that away from your own game.
“We continue to keep pushing the boundaries, keep seeing how far we can go.
“We don’t have a ceiling, so we keep encouraging the guys to keep pushing the boundaries and making it entertaining.
“Some of the stuff we saw yesterday was truly special. I am sure the guys will keep playing some ridiculous stuff.”
The “ridiculous stuff” isn’t confined to the field – it’s sprouting from the mouths of people who should know better.
But at least an MBE for seven runs has a challenger for the most embarrassing moment in Paul Collingwood’s career.
Opeo
Roar Rookie
I am Australian and just stating facts. No need to get so emotional. The list of fastest innings of all time emphatically states that this English team is the fastest scoring of all time. They have done it outside of England and even the first innings of the first test was faster than every Australian innings in like 150 years of cricket except seven and it was only the tenth fastest innings by England since around the start of last year.
Jeb
Roar Rookie
Look at how flat you’re making the pitches to suit your narrative (and coach) and the minnows you guys play. It distorts the figures. Combine that with massive bats, T20 influence and the boundaries being in further than ever these days (ridiculous) makes it so much easier. It’s natural progression and not revolutionary. Opeo, you’re mentioning top rates and not average scoring rates over a long period by the way. Big difference. Easy to be at the top when you face guys like Ireland. It just simply isn’t revolutionary. How are the Ashes going? You have your answer. It won’t last in NORMAL conditions. On the flattest pitches of all time, sure.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
I'm just an average-spud
Richard POWELL
Roar Rookie
Well P.I.E., the only certainty about this Ashes series is that it doesn't need saving. Regardless of Bazball, the crowds turned up in droves and TV ratings in the rest of the world went through the roof, despite the poor performance of SKY and 9. Let's see what happens after 2 or 3 more tests and whether your pommie cousins are still sprouting Bazball, and whether McCallum and Stokes have still got a job.
Neil Back
Roar Rookie
Nah. You’re in bad company. And you’ve put yourself there.
Col in Paradise
Roar Rookie
I think test cricket is on the rise anyway…see the WCT Final between Australia and India..big crowds big audience…same with our Tour to India and here…England and Bazball isn’t needed to save Crickey..India is..IPL makes the bucks but Test Cricket is their pinnacle..
Tony Harper
Editor
Um Neil, have a look around the internet, if I've misinterpreted the use of ''we" then I'm in good company.
Neil Back
Roar Rookie
In the interests of fairness, I think it more reasonable to suggest Collingwood’s ‘we’ in his statement did not refer to England in isolation Tony, but to test playing nations generally. As such, it would be hard to argue against on a number of levels - although there will be plenty on here who will find it natural to them. In the interests of kindness, I’ll suggest it was less a case of poor interpretation on your part, and more journalistic knee jerk to create an article the usual suspects can flood to, highlighting yet more imagined Pom hubris and lost empire arrogance. You naughty chap you.
Dunning Kruger
Roar Rookie
No, it doesn't need saving. Saving from what? It is the premier form of the game and the one that players hold in highest esteem. But to paraphrase your whine; The Poms are going over board and the Aussies are very naughty for pointing it out. Gotcha.
Ouch
Roar Rookie
yep, McCullum is making great use of the very limited resources he has at his disposal.
Ouch
Roar Rookie
McCullum has used the limited tools he has available to great advantage, much the same as he did in his own career.
matth
Roar Guru
For me, changing the nature of the English pitches so that we don't even feel like we are playing in England is cynical and in no way 'saving' test cricket. Watching test cricket in England where the pitches are more sporting and batters are actually challenged is a joy. And now we are getting a pitch more suited to the IPL. Disappointing.
Panthers
Roar Rookie
Yes, but Australia aren’t the ones talking themselves up as being the saviours of test cricket . With their ‘ Bazball ‘ & the inventors of attacking cricket in test matches. Which is the point I’m making.
Opeo
Roar Rookie
“You must be fun at parties” – The guy that chided me for saying that England score at a run a ball because sometimes when they scored at a run a ball the innings were not complete and in completed innings they only scored at 5.98, or 5.5, per over.
Cam
Roar Rookie
You must be fun at parties
Opeo
Roar Rookie
I do not have an obsession with run rate. You said “Australia over the past two decades have also often played this way“. Unless twice is considered to be “often”, your statement is clearly untrue.
Pom in exile
Roar Rookie
You could take this Australian team back in time with you as well and they’d struggle just as much. So what?
Gary
Roar Rookie
Not hate it’s disdain, and not ‘them’ ( not nzeders in general as I visit often and enjoy the country and it’s people ) it’s just some of the Kiwi Roar contributors and their arrogance around Rugby matters . This whole Bazball thing is crap , what the Poms after 140 years Test Cricket boredom are now awakened like Evangelicals? Give me a break .
Pom in exile
Roar Rookie
If you were responding to me…for the most part yes. They got turned over quite easily by South Africa but bounced back straight away. India really is the final frontier these days for all sides.
Cam
Roar Rookie
I'm not sure I get your fascination with run rate, it is irrelevant if the opposition actually score more runs. Australia scored at less than 4 runs an over in the last Ashes and won the series 4-0.