Tony Archer forced to apologise for everything

By Dane Eldridge / Expert

Just to save hassles, referees boss Tony Archer has said sorry for pretty much everything.

The broad concession of guilt comes after a gripping weekend of blame-gaming that unfairly overshadowed the thrilling rugby league that was actually played.

Archer and his referees were slammed by vanquished coaches for a litany of issues, including the totally rational accusation of wrecking an entire season.

In response, Archer has shelved the futile practice of defending his referees, instead preferring to issue a preemptive apology to all the losers they’ll upset as the finals continue.

The move was made after discovering there was insufficient evidence to suggest a coach will ever accept responsibility for anything ever again.

The ref’s boss also claimed he was forced to act under the sheer weight of angry “texas”.

Archer said his blanket apology for “simply existing” will streamline departmental processes and save valuable time, thus freeing up his weekends for more important stuff, like watching footy.

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The apology was issued at midnight under controlled conditions, with Archer using an alias from under a hazmat suit.

From here, he footed the blame for “pretty much the lot” including the Bunker, touchies in hats and “your 17 blokes hurting in the sheds right now.”

Additionally, Archer said sorry for loose carries, Melbourne, and Paul Gallen’s crippling lack of gravitas among authority figures.

He then took responsibility for the national debt and the Wallabies, but stopped short of apologising for stadium food prices, because “you’ve gotta crawl before you ball.”

He then rounded-off by seeking forgiveness for road tolls, goths and Justin Bieber, but not everything about the Canadian, just his old stuff and him.

At the completion of his seven-hour mea culpa, Archer then stated he will not be apologising again this year, regardless of how many failed football teams he is made accountable for.

This is because he plans to immediately relocate his office to the safer surrounds of Libya, just as soon as he crushes his phone and sets his SIM card on fire.

News Corp journos were said to be disappointed with Archer’s apology, as it now forces them to file match reports about matches

The Crowd Says:

2017-09-12T11:04:51+00:00

Womblat

Guest


Agreed. Better than nothing by a long way.

2017-09-12T07:02:59+00:00

The Barry

Roar Guru


Nat - it's your last paragraph that sums it up for me. Parra fans were griping about the Scott forward pass in the third minute costing them the game. But 20 minutes later they were in front and then had a 20 minute period in the second half where they gave away penalty after penalty and made error after error. They played really well overall and had plenty of opportunities to win.

2017-09-12T05:02:42+00:00

Big Willy TBU

Guest


News Corp NRL reporters are irrelevant wastlings - thank goodness for The Roar.

2017-09-12T04:55:58+00:00

Nat

Roar Guru


I'm not a hater WE, I hope you understand that but you're reaching now. The NRL have no control over a private Storm function. They did say they don't condone it but they have no influence over it. Exactly the same for an official Police matter. Yes it went away but IF the police come knocking every citizen, player, sporting club and association must work with them. The Police don't care about sport, just criminal activity. Agree Walkers try was too close to overrule but it was at 47min mark. Manly score again, bomb one and have multiple repeat sets. To say that cost them the game is akin to believing Uate's dropped try against the Knights was the deciding factor.

2017-09-12T04:40:20+00:00

AGordon

Guest


great article Dane. I hate listening to Flanagan, Hasler, Stuart, Barrett and co, ranting because they're side had decisions go against them. I wish we had a really simple system where a game's played and of the Clubs have an issue with ANY decision, they make contact with Archer or whom ever and either schedule a face to face meeting or a teleconference for the Monday after the game. In the meanwhile, the Club goes through the tape and decides what it wants to cover then there is a sensible, rational meeting. Both sides can have press conferences after that meeting but before that meeting, the coaches say nothing or they are fined 100K and suspended from coaching for 6 games. The Club says nothing or loses competition points. That would be a professional way to manage this issue so of course, it won't happen.

2017-09-12T04:28:31+00:00

The Barry

Roar Guru


An explanation of decisions might be doable I don't know how much good it will do. People are too invested and can't be rational. Players are held accountable but only to their coach. Same as referees. Players don't have to front a press conference to explain their mistakes.

2017-09-12T04:04:54+00:00

Matt P

Roar Rookie


I can't understand this "censorship" argument. You're not censored, you can talk about whatever you like, as long as you're willing to accept the 10k. But there's no reason for the ref's decisions to come up at, anywhere. They don't decide the game, the players do. Put up the footage of the missed tackle that lead to the match-winning try, bag out the player who missed it; demand that they be sacked for incompetence. If you can see why the above is inane, surely you can see that the same applies to the refs.

2017-09-12T03:39:36+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


There was apiece on one of the Fox Sports programmes where t was suggested that if coaches have concerns, they can bring up a maximum of three issues in the game without fear of penalty. However, the referees have a right of reply. I'm not saying it would solve anyhthing but it would allow for the howlers to be brought up not every perceived slight like Flannagan did.

2017-09-12T03:03:34+00:00

Wild Eagle

Guest


If Todd wants a better example of telling grown men that they need to grow up he needs to look no further than the Storm continuing to celebrate premierships which were illegal and denied another team a chance ie Parramatta. It is truly childish and embarrassing yet no word from the NRL. What has happened to the allegations of paper bags or whatever against Manly? Are you proud of this Todd or do you need to grow up? Nat I believe the crucial call in the game was Walkers no try and it was unforgivable. I fully understand Barrett being furious when all is considered.

2017-09-12T03:00:20+00:00

Wild Eagle

Guest


If Todd wants a better example of telling grown men that they need to grow up he needs to look no further than the Storm continuing to celebrate premierships which were illegal and denied another team a chance ie Parramatta. It is truly childish and embarrassing yet no word from the NRL. What has happened to the allegations of paper bags or whatever against Manly? Are you proud of this Todd or do you need to grow up?

2017-09-12T02:35:45+00:00

Womblat

Guest


I do hear you and Barry and maybe you are right, but it's just the fact that they give nothing of themselves at the moment that's the problem. Censorship breeds mistrust. Players are held accountable, but you don't see it with refs. If it does happen it's behind closed doors and not transparent. That does nothing for external confidence. They are just so detached at the moment, they seem separate from the game. It's no wonder they've become the focus because not only don't they account for themselves, they don't represent anywhere. They don't defend OR justify themselves at all. They are just.. there. OK maybe a post presser is a bit deep, but at the very least, a statement, or something, anything, to show that they are human and suffer the same foibles as us all. A little humanity goes a long way.

2017-09-12T01:52:02+00:00

Adam

Roar Guru


Always seems to work for me

2017-09-12T01:50:31+00:00

Adam

Roar Guru


Do we propose that all players should then come to the press conference to explain every decision they make? Or just the ones that knock on at key moments? We talk about referees needed to be accountable but don't have any of these standards for players?

2017-09-11T23:36:22+00:00

Nat

Roar Guru


It's a no win situation for the refs. The losing team will always disagree with a 50/50 call. Archer has come out a few times this year admitting a call wasn't correct and stood down a ref next game. It is of no consequence to the affected team and benefits the following game's opponents.

2017-09-11T23:27:53+00:00

Nat

Roar Guru


WE, I appreciate your anguish but in not so many words Greenberg did say quite a bit of this. Even that some officials will be looking for work elsewhere. Barrett was speaking from emotion directly after the game because the Peachy call effectively decided the game. Flanagan took half an hr to compile his list and address the media. That was a calculated sook and Greenberg is right to tell him to grow up.

2017-09-11T23:15:08+00:00

Ben Lewis

Roar Pro


I agree and disagree with you in part, Barry. While I agree that there's no point a referee explaining a decision after the game when it's already been explained on the field, I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea to have a short press conference-like session with Archer where he can explain and run through rules that led to specific decisions being made. NRL.com used to have exactly that; short videos where he explained certain decisions each round. I don't know why it was stopped, I thought it was a good way to showcase the rules and decisions. To his credit he always admitted when a decision was wrong, too.

2017-09-11T22:09:03+00:00

Wild Eagle

Guest


Toddles will be out of a job soon and this is the beginning of the end. Despite what he says all the players and all the coaches are acutely aware that at times it is the Refs and Bunker who will determine who wins and who loses. It is just a fact and Toddy is saying the opposite. Here is what he would say if he was not lying. " I accept that the Bunker and Refs mistakes can and do influence the final out come of games. I understand the anguish of all concerned and refute completely the notion that it never happens. In fact this years GF could be decided by a forward pass which everyone at home will see but the bunker will be obliged to pretend it can't. Just because some Coaches and Captains also make mistakes in the press confrences , NOTHING can hide the fact that teams have and will lose games due to ref and bunker errors. The only debate is how we at the NRL can minimise this issue. I am calling out anyone who is denying this and that includes me. It is ridiculous" Over to you Todd , time to pull your head out of the sand , a great big wave is coming your way.

2017-09-11T22:08:57+00:00

Con Scortis

Roar Guru


Saying sorry to everything is the secret to a successful marriage ha-ha.

2017-09-11T21:57:08+00:00

Sleiman Azizi

Roar Guru


Rubbish article. It's all Jarryd Hayne's fault.

2017-09-11T20:59:49+00:00

JohnnoMcJohnno

Roar Rookie


Archer needs to go further than apologizing. He should hold a "compliments day", where all referees are compelled to say nice things about the coaches.

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