2017 AFL Brownlow Medal red carpet fashion ratings

It’s everybody’s favourite article of the year. I have no idea how rate fashion, but I’m going to muddle through somehow, possibly with the aid of several beverages. Strap yourselves in.

More from the 2017 Brownlow Medal
» Dustin Martin wins
» Full leaderboard
» Every vote round-by-round
» Most votes club-by-club
» Goal of the year
» Mark of the year

First, a PSA – I really, really, really, really know nothing about fashion. I’m writing this on the couch in my tracksuit pants and a comfortable shirt I’ve owned long enough that its like part of my family now.

I’m gonna make a few good-natured jokes, but the truth is, people, you’re all beautiful. Alright, disclaimer out of the way, so let’s jump in. We’ll keep adding more photos as the night goes on.

I’m all for more scientific knowledge in the community, but I’m not sure having an embroidered model of the digestive system on the front of this dress is the best way to achieve it. 5/10.

When I look at this dress all I can think about is layer cake. I like layer cake. 7/10.

Simple and stylish, but reckon you need yellow and black ties to really be on point, lads. Can Sam Lloyd live up to the legendary Michael Barlow as a Brownlow date? 6/10.

(Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)

Some suits wear people, Mo hope is wearing that suit. 10/10. Vote yes.

Let it go… Let it go… and try not to trip over. 6/10.

Oh dear goodness they have the exact same smile. Wearing a detailed map of the universe as a dress is a bold and inventive choice. 7/10.

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Ah, so that’s what happened to Wednesday Adams – she grew up and married Stef Martin. 8/10.

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Once my brother couldn’t be arsed wrapping my birthday present so he just wrapped it in a bed sheet, this is the dress equivalent of that. Phil Davis cleaning up is always the most disturbing part of the Brownlow. 6/10.

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Jordan Ablett describes her dress as “very architectural”. I wasn’t aware that was something you’d want in a dress. 6/10.

(Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)

You’ve heard of Roaming BT, now get ready for roaming Fev. Nice enough dress. 7/10.

(Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Surely to fit the theme here Brad should be wearing a suit made out of 101 Dalmations. 7/10.