Not only will shortening matches save Test cricket with more T20s, it will also ensure Australia’s future by capping Marnus Labuschagne’s ever-lengthening knocks at 34 hours max.
With four monolithic tons in five weeks and a maiden double-hundred at the SCG, Labuschagne is on a clear trajectory to eventually bat until the end of time, especially if Todd Astle keeps trying to take catches from his own bowling.
In the space of a few months, the Queenslander has become so valuable that Australia needs an enquiry to determine who failed to rashly pick him from obscurity earlier, despite us all knowing it was probably the Greens.
Such has been the his gluttonous stays, historians have even begun trawling records to debunk conspiracy theories he has been at the crease pre-summer, or pre-partum, or possibly even pre-Bradman.
This has lead to the obvious question: is Labuschagne the best since Batman?
There is no doubt it is natural under the circumstances to mention the rookie alongside the superhuman feats of the Caped Crusader and the masterful Sir Don. But we must exercise care when comparing our batsmen to fictional comic book characters and, more notably, Batman.
Hopefully we can maturely postpone this debate until he accomplishes the basics of Test batting immortality, such as scoring under an alias, or to the point of upsetting Ian Chappell posthumously.
Marnus Labuschagne raises his bat yet again (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)
But whatever happens, it appears the current five-day format will be barely enough to contain Labuschagne’s appetite. After all, his captain, Tim Paine, loves secure targets and resting bowlers, and bereft opposition captains are resorting to plans to dismiss him via Mankad or natural causes.
But the greatest concern arising from this voracious endurance is not the shame of crediting our selectors on a shrewd decision, it is the prospect of how he could crush this nation beyond repair.
It is acknowledged that allowing the 25-year-old to bat forever could be somewhat advantageous to Australia in the short-term, especially those in ball manufacturing and television advertising.
However, having him effectively halve the number of available spots in the middle by mortgaging an end for eternity could result in something akin to the devastation of the post-Shane Warne spin vacuum.
For those uninitiated, this saw an entire generation of promiscuous leg-spin wasted due to an immovable bleached-blonde semi-vinyl ceiling, which yes, despite being metaphorical, was fitted with a filthy big mirror next to a mural over a king-sized bed.
Can Australia afford a future top order filled with the likes of Michael Beer, Daniel Cullen and that bloke who works at the bank?
Sure, we could pray for another unheralded Labuschagne to be plucked sight-unseen from the lower grades, proving again that anything’s possible if you work hard and get picked fortuitously by selectors who are out of ideas.
But there’s only so long we can rely on generational leg-spinning first-drops being produced from Australia’s renowned breeding ground – that being the second division of County Cricket.
As you can clearly see, the threat to Australia posed by Labuschagne is real. This is why I’m calling on the ICC to ignore the wishes of its 12-man board of Virat Kohli and immediately truncate the format to save us from a future pinning our hopes on gambles and Travis Head.
A number of methods could be easily employed to shorten games, such as increased daily over rates, or by scheduling all games to be played in Australia against Pakistan and New Zealand in the years 2019-20.
While abbreviating to four days will present a teething period where Labuschagne bats for three days and then bowls out the opposition twice on day four, at least an impromptu T20 match could be played in the spare final session.
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
Mark Taylor has been a strong advocate of 4 day Tests. Remember him. He once batted for 2 full days of a Test. Hypocrite.
Noah Barling
Roar Pro
No, they don't
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
Had a chuckle reading this... But I do not find The ICCs proposal to reduce Tests to 4 days at all funny. I hope they were watching the SA vs England match at Newlands where the game was only decided in the last 20minutes of day 5. Or do those buffoons watch cricket I wonder.
Paul
Roar Guru
I guess you haven't heard the breaking news from the ICC's meeting in London. They voted overnight to allow all bowlers the chance, each over, to deliver a ball that hits Labuschagne on the elbow and hopefully deflects onto the stumps. The other change was to serve up a gentle delivery that Marnus can hit away for a suicidal single, thus offering the fielding side target practice at his stumps, with the chance of a run out and Labuschagne a chance to get his shirt dirty, so he can show his mum & dad how hard he played that day.
Tanmoy Kar
Roar Rookie
In a 4-days Test match scenario, Lara's record (400 runs) will never be broken, even triple century will not happen, double centuries will become rare, etc. etc....
DingoGray
Roar Guru
We cutting everything these days.... Tim Paine has even reverted to cutting his 1st name down to Marn...... I can understand this though, as Mr Labuschange is the MARN
kk
Roar Pro
Dane, Proteas have a life span of 50-70 years so Labushka will be around for a good while yet. Maybe he could be the reason to create a Champions Tour for (say) the over 40's. To overcome incessant marathons may I suggest a change to the format. Teams alternating, so time at the crease is staged in two hour stanzas. This would be a fairer use of the wicket and a more equitable opportunity to cope with whatever weather conditions prevailed. Crowds up. Horticulturally speaking Marnus left South Africa as a Little Prince and developed into a Stately King Protea, maturing into a Jolly Joker with the confirmation to being an Aussie complete by choosing to use a Kookaburra bat.
The Late News
Roar Rookie
Pierro....obvious that you have a day off!
The Late News
Roar Rookie
Dane....not too sure where to start...so let's go with the posthumous gig with Ian Chappell...getting easier by the day I guess.
Chris Kettlewell
Roar Guru
He may well against England. Outside of a single Alistair Cook inspired anomaly in 2010/11, England have had 2 5-0 and one 4-0 in their other recent tours. They don’t do well down here. India are certainly the standard at the moment though. But give the team some credit. It’s easy to talk about the “ordinary opposition” but NZ came into this series ranked number 2 with many people talking up their best ever team. When I commented before the series that I thought Australia would still smash them I was told there was no way this Australian team was good enough to smash them. Yet out of all this NZ have left with their statistically worst ever tour of Australia.
dungerBob
Roar Rookie
I like the idea of Batman ending his crime fighting career with a test average of 99.9. Though, of course, it's frowned upon to keep a young lad in a cave under your mansion these days for the obvious reasons.
Pierro
Roar Rookie
comedy. bat all day labs. Keep five days why does it matter really if they don’t bat fifth day its a moot point theres enough t20 to bore one to death with smash and grab cricket which in itself is repetitive and impulsive. remember this australian summer was against ordinary opppostion. it won’t be the same against india next summer or on tour , labs won’t be breaking his all time aussie summer record again against india or england in next two summers. Afghanistan maybe but they should play that in hobart or alice springs – or scrap it and make india a 5 test series like it should be .
Kopa Shamsu
Guest
I agree. The guy was making some nice little fifties. Someone somewhere thought his technique needs some tweaking. And all hell broke loose. All we are getting now is these nervous 150s, nervous 200s & nervously waiting for next nervous spot. Surely this guy is planning to launch 7 day test cricket in partnership with Todd astle ? I miss those nice breezy fifties :crying: